: Erinéxixwilgw» ~».-- ~ » 5-!" lll llllllllW‘" v w [The Bannni‘ Week] @ I I Published crery Saturday morning at eleven o’clock. NEW YORK, JANUARY 23, 1830. TIIE BANNER WEEKLY is sold by all Newsdealers in the United States and in the Canadian Dominion. Parties unable to obtainit from a Newsdealer, or those preferring to have the paper sent direct,by mail, from the publication office, are supplied at the following rates: Terms to Subscribers, Postage Prepaid: One copy, four months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . “8.1.00 “ “ one year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 3.00 Two copies, one year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 5.00 In all orders for subscriptions be careful to give address in full—State, County and Town. The aper is always stopped. promptly, at expiration 0 sub- scription. Subscriptions can start with any late number. . I . TAKE NOTICE—In sending money for subscription by mail, never inclose the currency except. in a registered letter. A Post Office Money Order is the best form of a remittance. Losses by mail Will be almost surely avoided if these directions are fol- lowed. Foreign subscriptions may be sent to our European agents, the INTERNATIONAL NEWS COMPANY, 11 Bon- verie street (Fleet street), London, England. 33" All Communications, subscriptions, and let- ters on business should be addressed to BEADLE AND ADAMS, PUBLISHERS, 98 WILLIAM ST., NEW YORK. Q?” The stories appearing in THE BANNER IVEEKL Y will not be published in book form. _ 3;?" New readers will please notify their news— dealer of their purpose to lake THE BANNER WEEKL17'1‘egitlai‘ly, so as to be sure of scour: ing it. Back numbers always on hand. sums IN NO. 169! Buffalo Bill’s Brilliant Romance Montebello, THE MAGNIFICENT; 0R, . The Gold King of Colorado. Wonderfully interesting in story — teeming with the excitement of life in the Colorado hills in the early days Of the great gold excitement—— this fine work of the noted scout will add meas- urably to his Well-Merlted Honors! It shows his intimate knowledge of life and character in the wild IVest, and familiarity with all the minutizc Of mining, while in plan and plot it is wrought with a skill that will excite the warmest admiration. As he \Vrltes Only for Us it is a source Of great satisfaction to us that all he produces is not only admirable in story but is exceptionally admirable in treatment and morale. The life, character and literature Of the wild \Vest has in Hon. “fin. F. Cody A Typical and Representative nan. A Smart_l_o_t_ of Cats. BY WILL s. GIDLEY. “ I TELL you, boys, cats air sharp!” exclaimed a tall, solemn-looking individual as he drifted into the combined post—Office and grocery store at Cranberry Corners, Conn., and seated him- self on a nail—keg. “Yes, siree, cats air purty durned shrewd, an’ don’t you forgit that Zachariah P. Johnson told you sol” “ How do you make that out, Zach?” lazily in- quired the occupant Of another row of nail-kegs, after ejecting a mouthful of tobacco—juice at the stove and missing it. “Easy enough. Guess if you lived down my way you wouldn’t ask,” replied Mr. Johnson. “ I live in Cat Alley—that’s what the neighbors call it now, though it used to be Washington Terrace before the cats begun to camp out there nights. It’s just awful the way they howl around an’ ‘make the welkin ring,’ as the poet puts it, from dark till daylight. “ Well, I stood their caterwauling as long as I could, and then I went down to the hardware store an’ told Robinson to send up two men and a boy, an’ fix up my back yard fence with a dou- ble row of Keepemoff’s Universal Steel-p’inted Cat-Teaser, warranted to keep out the feline tribe every time or money refunded an’ no ques- tions asked. “ They came up that afternoon and rigged the fence up in the reg’lar latest approved cat-proof style, an’ went away assuring me that no mor— tal cat could ever git into that air yard ag’in ex- cept by coming over the roof of the house. I was so tickled about it that I paid Robinson a dollar extra for the job. I also tried to turn a handspring an’ kicked the clock Off’n the mantle— piece when I was gittin’ ready for bed that even- in’ to think I was goin‘ to git one night‘s rest Without being disturbed by the yowling and howling of forty-’leven cats, more or less. “ Mebbe you won‘t believe it, boys. but along about 10:47 P. M. I was woke up by the Old fa- miliar music, mingled with a jingling sound like hail rattling on a tin roof. I got into my dry- goods soon as possible and went down to in- vestigate. The yard was half full of cats, same as usual, and there was a lot of 'em on the fence galloping around on top of that air cat—teaser just as if they enjoyed it. I wondered how they worked it till I got a little closer to the consarned critters an’ see that every Thomas and Tabby of the hull crang had a small-sized tin can strapped onto each foot to protect ’em from the sharp p’ints, an’ the natural consequence was tliev could run along on Old Keepemoff’s Universal Steel~p‘inted Cat-Teaser jest as easy an’ with as perfect impunity, so to speak, as they could on the ground! Oh, cats are cute, an’—-— Hey? Did an 'body say anything?" he solemn-looking man paused and gazed in— quiringly around. Nobody had spoken. “All right," he continued: “I didn't know but what somebody would be disputin’ my word an’ I wanted to give ’em a chance while the facts were fresh in my mind. I’ni goin’ to go down tO-morrow an’ make Robinson take back that ’air cat-teaser arrangement an’ give me a dou- ble-barreled, three-ply, swivel-movement shot— gun in the place Of it, and then we’ll see if the cats air runnin’ that part Of the city of Gran— berry Corners or whether Mister Z. P. Johnson, E-s-g., has got somethin’ to say about it. “ ay, Bill, do me up half a pound of codfish. I’m goin’ hum.” “All right,” responded the storekeeper: and aamoment later Zachariah P. Johnson secured his . weekly supply Of codflsh and stalked out amid the impressive silence that could have been Happy-Go-liply Papers. Peters Breaks Loose Again. GRABVILLE-ON—THE-HUDSON, l_ January, 1880. l DEAR BANNER:— _ . ’l‘iiE [JUL‘L-lul‘lut of Grabville is again on the rampage. _ He kept quiet so long that the public began to have strong Iliopes that he had “mysteriously disappeared " or that the proper authorities had taken his case in charge and incarcerated him in the Home for lncurable Spring POcts; but these ho )es were groundless. ’eters was, in the cXpi-t-Ssive language of the for West, still on deck. Judging from his latest effusions he intends to remain there. Nothing, apparently. short of a club or a stroke of light- ning, can “ pale the inetl'ectual tires " .ot his perennial genius. or give him pause In his Wild and devastating career. . Like another Don Quixote hc rides forth on his limping, ramshackle Pegasus across the fair plains of Nineteenth Century .poesy, a reckless knight-errant, charging on Windmills and 1m- aginary foes, and leaving a wide swath of deso- lation and gloom in his wake. Ever and anon across the literary tirinament like an unchaincd meteor flashes Peters—Peters the inimitable, Peters the only and irrepressible poet—lariat Of Grabville. Peters the Heaven-born genius whose effulgent lubi‘icutions dazzle the public, at five cents a dazzle, in the columns of the Grabville I’Veckl 1/ F ish-horn .’ That Peters is not falling behind any in the general scramble up the proud hights of arnas‘ sus will be readily seen by a glance at the fol— lowing. which comes hissing hot from his irid— ium-pointed pen: VA IVARNING' T0 GOTHAIIL BY EBNEZER J. PETERS, POET-LARIAT. Back! back, thou reckless usurper That with insatiate maiv Would swallow up fair Grabville! Back; back, or feel the eagle’s claw! Back to thy lair and stay awhile, Squat on your old Manhattan lsle, Thou ugly, rambling pile of bricks; We allow no stranger to play m- tricks. “’e’re not to be took in, you bet! Talk is cheap, but land is dear: Taer just now are quite high here, But they would still be higher yet If you should scoop us in, I fear. Then back, I say! Usurper, back! And stay your ruthless handz; Dare not the Spartan band; Touch not fair Gi'abville’s unsmirched name, Nor seek to annex her land. For Vengeance follows on the track Of those who would assail our fame— Such things we will not stand! N. B.—To be continued next week unless the foul usurper hauls oft—E. J. P., l’.—L. These heroic stanzas appear to have been called forth by the rumor that Grabville was to be swallowed up and obliterated from the face of “'estchester county, figuratively speaking, by the lusty and ever-growing metropolis. But Peters gives fair notice that Grabville won’t stand it. She will never tamely submit to be swallowed. She will fight first. And if the en- emy still insists on coming, Peters will meet them at the gates, armed word-pie, and deci- mate their ranks by reading them a few linear yards of his original patent—right poetry. “'hen he hurls that last verse (above quoted) at them, they will probably lose no time in et- ting back out of range—especially when t ey learn that Peters intends to Open another can of the same kind of poetry for their benefit if they persist in staying. , Peters may not realize it, but he has a terrible weapon at hiscommand, and as long as he keeps his poetical blunderbuss unsheathed ready for action there isn’t any doubt but that the “ foul usurper ” Will keep away from Grabville—and as far away as possible at that. But Peters is not always thus warlike. He occasionally condescends to dismount from his battle-steed and dash Off a few business locals as follows: 3%” Subscribe for the Fish-horn. One-fifty per annum! Q” If you have any hides J. Cooper will tan ’em! 8%” For boots and shoes Go to Solomon Kuss, You might go further And fare much wuss! Q“ A. Jewell sells hard ware As bright as himself. You‘ll find an assortment On ’most every shelf! Q“ The drug store is ke (2 By Jonathan Squil ; He‘ll sell you anything From tooth-brushes to pills: P. S.—And Poet~lariat Peters Will write you a poem, And brush up your thoughts SO no one will know ’eml W Such “ads.” as the above Cost ten cents a line. I’d write a few more. But I haven’t got time! It is in such announcements as the. above that Ebenezer J. Peters’s metrical genius shines forth like a tallow candle set on a half-bushel. When he harnesses his frisky muse down to business at ten cents a line, she jogs along with the steady gait of a Herkimer county plow—horse. It is only when he gets excited that Peters’s muse begins to wobble and show signs of weari- ness. If the reader has any doubts on this point, let him gaze 0n the following, which we transcribe rerb. ct lit. from the latest issue of the Grabville H’eeA‘I-y Fish-horn : T HE FA TAL BLVII'. A skating rink with baleful mien Hath swooped down on our village. Our health to sap. our peace annoy. And pocket-books to pillage. Its crest it raises in our midst Like a Roman amphitheater, To tempt our giddy youths within Their spinal columns to fracture. There are seventeen more verses of this high- ly original production, but I haven‘t got room for the rest of them. What I particularly wished to impress on the reader’s mind was the comparative ease with which Peters gets over difficulties which would puzzle almost any Of our ordinary. everyday poets—except, perhaps, Walt “'hitman. Note. for instance. the easy. spontaneous way in which Peters rhymes amphitheater with fracture, and goes right on as if nothing had happened. There are no limits to a genius like Peters’s. " Age cannot stale nor custom wither” his “ infinite variety." when he once starts out to show what he can do. Take him all in all, Peters is a “poet-lariat.” of whom Grabvillc may well be proud: and when he demises (provided he will agree to do so within a reasonable time) the grateful read- ing public of Grabville will no doubt willingly chip in to hire some journeyman sculptor to sculp him a monument. If they don‘t. then vil- lages. as well as republics. are ungrateful: and I’ve got the money in my pocket to prove it. Yours symphoniously, NOAH NUFF. * THE Birmingham, Medical Review tells of an Old Highlander who was ordered by his doctor not to exceed two ounces of spirits daily. He asked his son how much liquor that was. “ Six— teen drams,” was the reply. “ What a. guid doc- tor,” said the Highlander. “ Run and tell Don— ald McsTavish and Big John tae cam doon the nicht. nuthin’, I reckon; p0 mawnin’, and took a of one 0’ you fellers’ll give me a chaw I’ll call it squar’.” We gave her a chaw and went on about our business. I never saw her again.’ Of the United States. seems on the map quite as large as Australia. It A Daughter of Arknnuw. FROM 3. Louisville (Ky.) scribe we have this veracious narrative: “ They were Sitting spinning arns in our law office the other afternoon. T e conversation had turned upon the subject of beautiful women and where the handsomest women were to be found. There was a great diversity of opinion expressed. the majority stoutly maintaining, of course, that the girl par excellence was not to be seen outside the glorious sovereignty of old Kentucky. “ ‘ Gentlemcn,‘ remarked the old colonel, who had been appealed to for his views of the situa- tion. ‘ the most perfect figure and prettiest face lever saw were in the wilds of Arkansaw. A party of us \vei'eout limiting, ovei'in the swamps between the White and Arkaiisaw rivers. TO— ward sunset we came to a deep and muddy bayou, which we knew at a glance it would be impossible to ford. On the opposite shore a canoe of the “ (lug-out” pattern indigenous to the country was moored. Away behind the trees a blue wreath of smoke curled quietly heavenward, marking the place where some set- tler had built his cabin in the lonely waste. “ ‘ After a series of yells from our guide that would have reflected credit on a Comanche brave about to take the war-path, a woman glided down to the bank on the other side. gracefully seated herself in the canoe, and com~ nienced paddling toward us with strong, swift strokes. As she neared the place where we were standing we all saw she was young—not more than ninetecn~—and with a face of surpass- ing loveliness. Her complexion was Of that per- fect brunette type only to be found in those whose ancestors for many generations have lived beneath the sunny skies: her cheeks had the in— describable tint so Often seen on the sun-kissed side of a ripe peach; her mouth was exquisite, with pouting lips like twin cherries; her hair floated down her back in silken, shining wave- lets nearly to the ground; and her eyes! ah, gentlemen. how shall I describe the midnight splendor or the transcendent glories to be seen in the liquid depths Of those dark orbs? “ ‘ As she stepped lightly out on the bank and stood holding the ‘ dug—out ’ for us to get into,’ continued the Old gentleman, ‘ she displayed the most ravishingly perfect figure I ever beheld. She was dressed in the single cotton garment, fashioned out of coarse ‘ factory,’ which is worn bythe females of her class in those distant wilds. It had evidently been made a year or two be- fore. for she had outgrown it to such an extent that it imperfectly performed the duties for which it had been constructed. It revealed a bust with which in artistic outlines the famous Venus di Medici could not compare. The short skirt permitted a glimpse of her ankles, that were absolutely faultless, and—’ “‘ I have a book here, gentlemen, which I should like to show you, if you will permit me,’ said a dapper little fellow, stepping briskly in. “ He was met with a bowl Of dissent from the Major and the Judge and the Captain and the old ’Squire. so wild and fierce that he never stopped running until he was down the stairs. “ ‘ Go on, Colonel: Oh, go on!’ was the unani- mous demand of his listeners. “ The Old Judge stepped uietly over. closed the door, and locked it, remar 'ing, his American heart would be dadbinged if he proposed that story should be interrupted any more, if the Court knew herself. or words to that effect. “ ‘ I don’t know that I have any more to tell,’ was the reply. “ ‘Colonel,’ solemnly said the venerable Ma— jor, ‘if you leave that peerless girl standing there holding a canoe 011 the bank of that mud— d y bayou, I’ll hold you personally responsible—I will, as sure as there is an angel in heaven.’ “ ‘ We didn’t leave her there,’responded the colonel. ‘ She paddled us across the stream, and when we asked what she charged, she said: “ Oh, went a b’ar—huntin’this the terbacker with him; “‘I believe you’re a liar,’ vociferated the judge, as be unlocked the door; ‘ an infernal Old bald-headed liar.’ “ ‘ So do I,’ chimed in each one of his listen~ ers, as they passed out and followed the irate leader down the stair to the street below. “ The question Of which State produces the most beautiful women is still before the house.” Focused Pacts. PURE California wines are said to be sold at places on the Pacific coast at five cents a glass. THREE snow-white beavers were taken on the Sacramento river, near Chico, 09.1., the other day. The fur was as soft as silk. THERE is a cabbage farm near Chicago, the largest in the world, which covers 190 acres. It takes 1,114,000 plants to set the tract. A TEXAS man living near Dallas lately sold a lot of cotton and disappeared. His wife offers 3500 reward for his production, “ dead or alive.” THERE are 23,000,000 acres of unsurveyed land in Washington Territory, of which it is estimated that 16,000,000 are excellent agricultural lands. The Territory now has a population of 140,000. PRAIRIE fires have recently burned over an area of 5,000 square miles near St. Joseph, in the Pan Handle of Texas, and severe losses are entailed to the cattle men of that exceptionally good region. A HALF-EAGLE Of the year 1815 has just been added to the excellent collection Of American coins at the mint in Philadelphia: $500 is the value of each of the three specimens known to be in this country. THE shipments of champagne from Lyons to this country during Octo er (the month when supplies for the holiday season are chiefly or- dered) aggregated $343,586 in value. against $201,576 the same month last year. This indi- cates that people have more money to spend for luxuries this year than last. A WILD stallion has for several Weeks kept the range Of country between Fort Collins, COL, and Cheyenne, “'33. in a state of fear and ex— citement by his various attacks upon either pe- destrians or riders a pearing on the road. A posse had been organized, atlast reports, to hunt to death the crazy horse, which has already done serious damage. THE vast extent of British commerce is indi- cated by the fact that no day passes without some British vessel being lost with all its crew. Indeed, the statistics for the month of Novem- ber show a much greater average loss than this. for duringits thirty days no fewer than seventy- four ships with all on board perished. This constitutes a tremendous toll. but, having the carrying trade of the world chiefly in her hands, Britannia is able to bear the strain. IN Georgia colored people own 600.000 acres Of land and pay taxes on about 310000.000 of property. In the whole of the South their tax- able property is put down at 3100000000. 111 South Carolina 66,429 of the 1272.003 pupils in the public schools are colored. In Georgia taxes paid by the colored race are almost as much as the sum devoted to the colored schools of that State. Everywhere in this country the colored race is making commendable progress, and is vindicating its right to that political equality denied to it in so many parts of the South. SOUTH AMERICA is more than double the size The empire of Brazil is twenty—four times the size of England. The Argentine Republic is nearly as large as Europe, taking Russia out. each twice the size of England, New Granada and Peru each as a large as England and Scot- land, Ecuador something less, to Great Britain, Uruguay and same, and Term del Fuego at least double the dimen- SIons of Great Britain. British, French, and Dutch Guiana are nearly as large as Great Bolivia and Venezuela are Paraguay equal Chili about the and the little-known regions of Patagonia heard around on the next block. Britain. Wine of the Wits. A DEAD LOSS. “ IT beats all creation,” muttered old Mullet— head, " what )aiiis swindlcrs will take to beat ere some one has saddled a lead honest men. ten-cent picCe. off onto me.” “ Can’t you pass it again .6” timidly suggested his lesser half. “ Pass it!” he shouted: “ why, the thing is as black as my hat! No, I’ll have to put it in the contribution box.”—Binghmnt0n Republican. COMPLIMENTING THE BABY. YOUXG mother (displaying her first-born to occupant of the room above)—" Is she not a dear little thing, Major Beeswax? DO you notice what a sweet little double chin she has?” Major Beeswax (a bachelor) r —“ Ye—es, and I’in somewhat surprised.” Young mother—“ Surprised!” Major Becswax—“ Yes, ma‘ain. From what I have heard during the past night or two I fully expected to see a triple chin.” TIIE BEAUTIFUL MISS SMITH. AT an evening party Dumley was introduced to a young lady, and after a remark about the weather he said gallantly: “ And have I really the pleasure of meeting the beautiful Miss Smith, whose praises are be- ing sounded by everybody?” " Oh, no, Mr. Dumlcy,” the lady replied, “the beautiful Miss Smith to whom you refer is a cousin of mine.” “ Oh, that’s it. Well, I thought there must he a mistake somewhere,” said the gallant Dum- ley. THE WOMAN OF IT. AT a station down in Indiana the Lake Shore Company employs a. lady ticket agent. She is a good agent, and attends closely to her busi— ness, but she is a woman still. The other day a lady traveler stepped up to the ticket window and inquired about a train that was a little late. “ “’ill the train be long 9” she asked, meaning if it would be long in arriving. “Oh, yes,” was the reply Of the fair ticket agent, “ longer than last season, but without so many ruffles around the edge.” HE \VAS TOO NEAR THE GRAVE TO LIE. A FEEBLE old darky struggled painfully in. “ Boss,” he said, “ 1’s an ole, ole man. I was bo’n in Ole Vahginn’y an’ libbed dar mos’ onto ninety-eight year, an’ I want yO’ ter assis’ me er little dis mawnin’, boss, ef yo’ pleas’, sah.” “ You knew George “'ashington, of course?” "‘ No, sah, l nebber see’d him." “What! You lived in Yir inia ninety-eight years and never saw (1‘ corge \ Yashington?" “ Dat am er fac’, boss. [‘5 an hones’ Ole man, an’ am too far gone in dis worl‘ fer to tell er lie. I nebbcr see’d young George, but Lor’, sah, his po‘ Ole gran'fadder an’ gran‘mudder yuse ter think er pow’ful sight ob me, boss.” OFF AGAIN. A GOOD story about that eternal “ duel ” ( nes— tion in France comes from Bordeaux. T rce years ago a young navy Officer, having quar- rcled with a corn merchant of the town in a club, sent his seconds on the following day. " Gentlemen,” said the corn merchant, “ I am quite willing to fight a duel with the lieutenant, but I do not think that our risks are equal. He is a bachelor and I have three children. \Vhen he has three children I shall be at his dis- posal.” Lieutenant Carjuzac was obstinate. A bar- ber of the neighborhood had a pretty daughter. He immediately courted her, obtained her par- ents’ consent and married her in October, 1882. Ten months later he was pl'BSented with a boy, and in 1884 the young officer was blessed with a daughter. At last, to his great joyi, a third child was born three months ago. 9 time. and orderin babv, he cal ed on the corn merchant. lost no Taking his first two children in his arms the nurse to follow him with the “ ’ell,” he said to him in a triumphant tone, “ we can fight now; I have three children!” “ Ah!" retorted his antagonist, “ but I have five now.” T ableau.—-—Maac O’Rell. His MAMA—IN-LAW TELLS ABOUT IT. I DO not know where he had been “ spending the evening” as he calls it, my dear, but I know that the evenin had waned into three o’clock in the morning w eh I heard him fall over the rocking-chair I left in the hall for him, and if it should please heaven to send me randchildren, I humbly trust the may all be In deaf—no, don’t say ‘ ‘ Oh, ma 1’ —rather than have them ever hear the language that man used, coupled with the name Of your mother. He left the hall door wide Open, and in the white moonlight I watched him stand on his hat to reach the shadow Of the fi ure 7 on the transom, black] outlined on the w ite wall, upon which he vainly endeavored to hang his overcoat. After several failures he laid the coat carefully on the floor, and after fumbling in every pocket in his clothes he found some matches, and then held up his foot and scratched them against the wall, under the im- pression, I have no doubt, that he was rubbing them on the sole Of his boot. He tried, with match after match, to light one Of the brass pegs in the hat rack, making the most shocking and absurd comments at every failure. I could bear it no longer. I called out: “ Henry, if you will cease disfiguring the wall and the hat rack, and come here, I Will find a li ht for you.” hat man—he turned in the most idiotic way to the hall door, and after staring out at the moonlight in a dazed way, said: “ Oh, yez! yes-zi-see: got parlor all lighted up, ain’ you? Whaz goin’ non? S’prise party 9” Then I went down-stairs and led him up to bed. NO, my dear, I am not goin to scold him. NO: when he comes down-stairs am not going to say a harsh word to him. I shall not say anything to him. I shall merely look at him. . S.—She looked ,at him.)—Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle. NO AUTOMATIC FOR HER. “ AUGUSTUS, dear,” said Mildred, as she seated herself at a. distance from him of five- cighths of an inch last night, “ Amy asked me today what these new automatic couplers were, mentioned in the papers, and I told her that in all probability they were attachments to the new marriage-license law. Are they 5” “ Yes. my darlin ,” replied Augustus, as be imprinted an East nd kiss on her ruby lips: “they worked the new automatic coupler for the first time at Waynesburg on Tuesday, and it acted like a charm.” “ Tell me about it, dear.” “ “'ell. a couple went to the clerk of the court, got a license, called in some witnesses. and the man said, ‘We acknowledge each other to be husband and wife,’ and the automatic coupler had done its deadly work.” “ Oh, dear! is that the way it operates?” And Mildred looked very disconsolate. “ Yes: shall we do it in that way. dear?” “ If that is the new style. I suppose.we‘ll have to: but I don’t like it. Can't we have it some other way ?" “Oh, certainly! This is the new style; but if you prefer, you can still use a preacher: you can still have your wedding in the church and keep the congregation waiting forty minutes. You can still sweep up the aisle, majestic in white and orange blossoms, the cynosure of all eyes, and have the newspapers say that ‘Our {ERNIE townsnian. Mr. dso. led to the altar iss Blank, one of Pittsburg’s fairest and most necomplished daughters.’ ” “ Oh, I am so glad, Augustus. I was afraid the new automatic coupler would rob the cere- mony of all that makes it worth livin for, and I think it would be just horrid if I had to be married and could not make as good a display as that odious Sue Roseleaf, who got married before the automatic coupler was invented.”— P‘ittsburg Chronicle. Correspondents’ Column. [This column is open to all correspondents. In- quiries answered as fully and as promptly as cir- cumstances will permit. Contributions not entered as “declined” may be considered accepted. No MSS. returned. unless stamps are inclosed.l Declined: “A Breeze on lce:“ “The Mountain Mysteryf’ “The liifziiiticiUe;" “The Last Shooting Matclig" “A Hard Case;” “The Best Man in Comm" “Old Jack‘s (‘riine;" “A Possible Lie;" “The C-iptain of the t‘rows;” “A Herder’s Ex- loit;” "The Fletcher Strike;" “Madam Boston’s ‘reaure:" “Killing Cats," "A Ten Shoot:" “The Coast Bastion;” "The Sands;" “Seen Through the Glass;" “The Rose-berry Trust.” Miss L. We will receive and forward the pack‘ age. SAM R. The back numbers mentioned are sup— plied. J. J. G. Do not care to reproduce the article. Too much new matter. A. K. We do not insert such communications in this column—indeed, we do not favor that kind of Correspondence. , FORTY-NINER. Nostrums for restoring gray hair to its original color are without number, and sensi- gle persons have as little to do with them as possi- le. ESSIE. The gift was proper enough, but what was on the card was not permissible," your relations are not those of amanced lovers; so youdid right in returning both gift and note. H. H. Cannot “criticise ” MS. for author‘s bene- fit.—Poem is fairly expressed though somewhat constrained and artificial. We do not care to use it, not fancymg the subject motive. GOERCK STREET MECHANIC. A Free Night School of ScienCe is part of the excellent system of the Cooper Union, New York. Application should be made to the curator whose office is in the Cooper Union building. HUSTLER. There really is no special virtue in the red color of flannel. 0n the contrary, when dyed with aniline red it is often a source of irritation to the skin. White or gray flannel, therefore is to be preferred, unless you obtain the real madder color. E. E. F. Cow-pox is very common in cattle. The virus now used for vaccinating pnrposesis Obtained from a healthy cow or calf that has been purpose] inoculated with the virus from some other animal. The anti-vaccination people are simply deaf, dumb and blind to facts. DANDY. We are not responsible for your sins of omission and commission. When you or anybody else writes and gives no SL116 address we don‘t care to fool away our time in writing a letter that never can reach you. By what art can we tell in uhal Springfield you live? How shall a pOstmaster know? Miss Si'sn: E. The “Gr: at Bible " is the transla- tion of Tyndale and COVPI'dale. as revised by Arch- bishop Cranmer, and published A. D. 1539. Cran- mer “as buran at the stake. by order of Blood ' Mary, in 1555. Cranmer framed the Liturgy. Homi- liesund Articles of Religion of the Prayer Book of the established church. K. L. D. Aluminum or aluminium is the chief conseituent of clay, and is extracted from it: but, thus far. the processes of extraction are all tedious and expensive, so that the metal is yet worth about $10 pr. pound. It is ll very useful and admirable lllwlal, that doubtless will yet come into general use. Axnv Jonssox. The Himalaya range is no! the highest in the world; it is the higher-t in Asia. The highest in South America is lllampn in the Andes—— 224 812 feet high. The highest peak in North America is Mount St. Elias. in Southern Alaska, 19,22-3. The highest Of the Sierra Nevada and Cascade Ranges is Mt. Whitney, 14,887. The highest of the Rocky peaks is Uncompahgre,14,~l50. Pike‘s Peak is 14,- 149 feet above sea level. A. F. F. The hand grenades, we are told by com- petent experts, are of no real value in extinguish- ing fires. Their contents are supposed to be chemi- cals that produce carbonic acid as when broken violently, or when in contact wit fire or flame. This gas can only smother fire by being confined where the fire is, but as fires, are usually in open spaces or rooms, subject to a draft, the grenade is as useless as a bottle of ginger-pop. T. T. J. sends the following item: “ A writer in the National Drum/N says that hens will lay pro- fusely all winter if served with two warm meals a day,” and asks: “What do you think about it?" We think the hens will have a good time and their owner will wait for returns until the hens get ready to respond—some time next spring. You can no more force or coax a hen to lay eggs. when her al- lotted “litter” has been dropped, than make an Englishman drop his h’s. BIGE. See item in our “Casual Mention" as to meaning of word Idaho. We have not seen the item you refer to. The writer simpl was not well in- formed. Dakota is the Indian I)ahcotah—once a powerful tribe in the Northwest. See Longfellow’s “Hiawatha.” Colomdo was named after the Rio Colorado—the red or blushing river which runs through the mountainous regions of Utah, Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado. The word .llnnluna is Spanish for mountain—big mountain. Arizona is Of the two Spanish words, aride. dry, and zonu, re- gion. or zone. Cut this answer out and send it to the paper named, with your compliments. AmUTANT's NIECE. As soldiers in the regular army are moving incessantly—having no home, and are liable to be sent at any time to the remote posts, we should say a soldier’s wife is not to be en- vied. Far better for you to marry a civilian. unless you like the vragnbomlage of this continued tramp- tramp of the regiment, from Florida to Alaska, with never a home, in the proper sense. If your lover is “only a major," his chance for promotion is small, because the army. as now constituted. is full offlcered. and promotion can only come by a. vacancy. Generals are actually in command of regiments The army as now constituted is meager in numbers. and the commissioned officers so many that the graduates of We st Point stand but a slight chance of any assignment to army service. LIZZIE A. writes: “ I have a gentleman friend who has been a frequent caller on me for a year past, al- ways rather late in the evening. He is Very busy at his store until eight o’clock; but a few nights ago he did not call on me until aft: r nine, and stayed until eleven. He is not a lover at all: only a friend. I like him quite well. and enjoy his somety. but greatly fear that people will talk about such late visits. What do you think I ought to do about it?" In the city an eight-O’clock call is considered late enough, and a visit before that would be rather out of place unless the caller knew the lady was not en- gaged in house or after-dinner duties. If. however. your home is in a. country village, where earlier hours are admissible, it would not be amiss for on to good-naturedly suggest to your friend that, in en he calls, you hope he will come as early in the eve- ning as pessible. since you do not care to make yourself a subject of gossip by receiving gentlemen callers at unseasonable hours. Mas. A. W. E. writes: " What do you think of such a case as this? A girl of nineteen was fairly driven into marrying a man fifty-five years old. He never will go out with her anywhere. because he has no taste for company nor amusements. She haslittle society and no pleasures. A lady friend has advised her not to submit to such seclusion but to gointo society—to operas and the summer re- sorts— even if she has to go alone. She has asked my advice, which I do not care to give, so refer the matter to you for an opinion ” We would not ad- vise the lady to go into general society. or to places of amusement. alone ' since. no matter how illy her husband may treat her,nor how averse she may have been to becoming his wife, she should take every precaution to guard both his honor and hers from a shadow of gossip. But accompanied by a partv of friends.or some married lady and her hus- band, she may accept invitations out, attend News of amusement. and travel. It would not be wise for her. however, to do anything likely to arouw her husband’s indignation, nor anything which he de- cidedly opposes. C. M. S. If the. “blotches” to which you refer are pimples. try this recipe: Thirty-six grains of bi‘ carbonate of soda, one drachm of glycerine. one ounce of spermaceti ointment. well mixed. Rub on the face, and. after a quarter of an hour. with a soft cloth. wipe it nearly all off.~li' the “yellow blotches" are moth, mask, morphew or hepatic spots, they are a Sign Of deep-seated disease of the liwr, and it may take several weeks. or months, to cure it Get large pills of taraxacum (extract of dandelion) and take me. four nights in a week, for a considerable length of time. Also, use. freely mustard-seed, tomatoes. figs. and all seedy fruit, together with vegetables cooked without grease, light-broiled meats. and bread made of coarse flour. 0 pastry. rich puddings and fried food you must deny yourself entirely. if you wish to recover. You will need to take plenty of exercise. and fresh air, and to keep up our spirits by lively associations. Every morning issolve one-third of a teaspoonful of chlorate of soda in a wine-glass of water and take this in lime domv, during the day. one before each meal. NO cosmetic will affect these yellow skin- blotches; but by faithfully following these direc- tions on will positively be rewarded with success, in a ew weeks or months: and not only will the blotches disappear but your general health will be greatly improved. h... .. .