:~( 5‘ ‘b k. "r: e L ,..- “Ahmad, A. 4w»- 4‘- H; y in w...” a..-“ .«o‘ _n ."\ ‘n‘. .,,v,. _Mm nav- mw‘m “II-rm were-«Md M- manna-am (03A :The W ill? Published every Saturday morning at nine o’clock. co 9: i=3 5 CD v-5 :2 CD CD NEW YORK, MAY 9, 1891. an BANNER Wva is sold by all Newsdeaiers in’I‘he United States and in the Canadian Dominion. Parties unable to obtain it from a Newsdeaier, or those referring to have the paper sent direct, by mail, rom the publication oflice, are supplied at the following rates: Terms to Subscribers. Postage Prepaid: One copy, four months. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . 31.00 " " one year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 3.00 Two copies, one year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 5.00 In all orders for subscriptions be careful to give address in full, State, County and To'wn.. The aper is always stopped, promptly, at expiration 0 sub- scription. Subscriptions can start With any late r. _ 11%;): NOTICE. In sending money for subscri tion remit by Am. Express Money Order, _Draft, . 0. Order, or Registered Letter, these being the best forms of remittance. Losses will almost surely be avoided if these directions are followed. Foreign subscriptions may be sent to our European agents, the INTERNATIONAL Nsws COMPANY 11 Bon— verle street (Fleet street), London. Englan . WAII communications, subscri tions, and let- ters on business should be addresse to BEADLE AND ADAMS. PUBLisusRs. 98 WILLIAM S'r.. an YORx. [3' New readers will please notify their news- dealer of their purpose to take THE BANNER WEEKLYregularly, so as to be sure of secur- ing it. Back numbers always on hand. w The stories appearing in THE BANNER WEEKLYcan not be had in Library form. THE NEXT SERIAL ! A Powerful Realistic Romance or New York City and Vicinity, BY RETT WINWOOD. 0n, the Wrong of It! In which a poor girl is the victim of astounding persecution and wrong—all at the instigation of a woman of society and of seemingly high posi- tion, but whose life the story ruthlessly unmasks, and in so doing shows how comparatively easy it is for adventurers and adventuresses to carry out their Schemes of imposture and villainy in the great city. The romance is one of exceeding personal in- terest—particularly in the career and experi- ences of the hapless girl whom the woman of society and her heartless confederates get in their p0wer, and who would have destroyed her but for the vigilance of a young man of high social position, whose devotion to love and his sense of duty make him a daring and tireless de- tective. The work will greatly delight all classes of readers. Happy-Gully)! Papers. Noah Visits the Patent Ofice. WASHINGTON, D. 0., April 22, 1881. DEAR BANNER :— You have kn0wn me a good many years, and I’m willing to leave it to you to decide whether there is anything in my actions or appearance that w0u1d justify any one in taking me for a— but I will not anticipate. Let us begin at the commencement, or com- mence at the beginning, whichever suits you the best. I’m satisfied either way, and the inauguration of the unpleasantness was as fol- ows: Wishing to explore the U. S. Patent Office in the interest of my “ constitootents,” as the Con- gressman from “’ayback Junction would say, I called there at 12:45 P. M. this afternoon, and in- quired for the commissioner in charge. There was a chap, with Dundrear whiskers and a sort of petrified smile, seate behind a glass show-case, diligently engaged in reading a newspaper, and it was to him I addressed my in- quiry. He looked up from his paper, in a weary sort of way, and said he believed the commissioner had one to the North Pole. “ as, eh? When do you expect him back?” inquired I. “ When the ice breaks up in the spring,” was the off—hand reply. “ If that is the case, you can go in his private office and telephone him that I’ll wait till he gets back,” said I; and then I helped myself to a chair and sat down, with the air of a. man who has nothing to do and has got all day to do it in. The gentleman with the Dundreary whiskers glared at me over his newspaper for awhile, with the evident idea of paral zing me for my temerity, but seeing that I di n’t paralyze any to speak of, he finally said: “ See here, mister, there won’t be any use of waiting to interview any one about that flying machine again. You can’t get a stout on it, so there is no use of wasting your time.” “ What fi ying machine are on talking about?” demanded I of his Hirsute H ghness. “ Why, the one you’ve been running here about every other day for the last six months.” “I? Been running here about a flying ma~ chine? Now by my halidome, whatever that is, I’ll swear I never set foot in the place before! What have you got to say to that?’ The man with the side-whiskers laid aside his paper and looked at me a little more closely than he had done hitherto, and then remarked: “ I thought you were the flying-machine crank from Kalamazoo who has been hanging around here three days a week for the past six months, bit I see that I was mistaken and I herewith apologize-or perhaps I hadn’t better, either, till I find out what 'you are after, for it may turn out that you're a worse customer than the other one. Haven’t got the model of a patent lightning-rod, or the fac-simile of a newg’fangled fire-escape in your pocket, have you. “ Not that I am aware of.” “ Nor a pe tual-motion machine ?” “ No, sir, I aven’t.” “ Then you are not one of these—er—cranks who waste ten years inventing somethin or an- other—don’t make much difference w at, so long as it isn’t of anyuse toanybody—and spend theiggst of their lives trying to get out a patent on I . “ 1 hope not.” “ I ho so, too, but when on first came in I feared t e worst. However, ’11 take your word for it, and now allow me to apologize and ask what I can do for you." Thus the little misunderstandin between the , Don’t hear anything of her coming, do you ?” smoothed over without the shedding of over- coats or gore. .. . . I accepted his apology, told him my misalon and he politely volunteered to show me through the building. He turned out to be a pretty decent fellow after all. I‘ll know better than to judge a man by his whiskers the next time. it was a lesson for both of us. Well, he piloted me around, and showed me queer-looking inventions, and cog-wheels, and cranks, and thing-a-my-jigs, and other arrange- ments of that sort till my mind got so filled up with what I had seen and so confused, that couldn’t have told the Eiffel Tower from a pat- ent potato-masher. Finally he paused in front of a strange con- trivance in one corner of the building and said: . “ Vell, sir, what do you suppose this is?” n I hastily collected my thoughts, all I_had With me, and after carefully looking the invention over told him 1 wasn’t sure whether it was a patent honey-extractor or a machine for grind- ing sausage. I _ “ You ain’t within forty miles of it—guess again,” exclaimed he, slapping me on the back and giving Vent to a snicker that could have been heard around on the next block. “ Maybe it is a patent dog-churn, then,” sug- gested I. . “No, sir, it is neither a honey-extractor, a sausage machine, nor a dog-churn." “ Then what in—” _ “ Don’t forget where you are, Sir!” _. “ I won’t—not as long as that thing is before me. What I was going to ask was, what In the United States you call it, anyhow?” “ The inventor is an ex~Frenchman named John Smith, and he calls his invention Smith’s Patent Universal Frog—trap. You know, the hind legs of a frog are a great delicacy and al- ways bring high prices. Well, Mr. Smith fig- ured on selling one of the machines to every man in the country who Owned 3. swam , and expect— ed to retire from business with a ortune at the end of six months.” “ But he was disappointed?” _ . “ So it seems. In the first place, It required a four-horse team to drag the machine out to the swamp, and than, when you got it there, a dozen medand sixteen boys couldn t drive a frog With- in a mile of it. .The inventor sold the first Uni- versal Fro -trap he manufacured to a man in Bogville, J ., and after the man had spent a week’s time and laid out sixty dollars for hired help and nary a frog to show for it, he sent the machine back and sued the inventor for dam: ages. The Frenchman entered a nolle proseqnt by hanging himself, and if you want buy It, I think his heirs will sell out their interest in that patent frog-trap cheap.” . However, I didn’t care to” invest, and __we passed on to something else. “ There,” exclaimed my friend with the whiskers (I really forgot to ask him what his other name was); as we halted in front of an- other, queer—looking model; “ there sir, isla pa- tent potato-bug annihilator—the only one in the country. The inventor of it was in here one day showing me howI it worked. He said a ten-year- old boy could turn the crank and do the annihi- lating as fast as six men could bring on the bugs. I asked him if the bugs had to be caught and fed into the machine by hand. ‘ Why, of course,’ he answered, and I said: ‘ Well, then, if that’s the case why not mash them between a couple of flat stones, instead of buying a sixty- dollar annihilator to do it with?’ ‘That’s 30' I never thought of that,’ he replied; and then he went away to reflect on t e matter, and I haven’t heard from him since. “ Now, here is something different. This is a— Hello! I see it is three o’clock, and it is against the constitution to work after three in this building.” ' “ The Constitution of the United States?” “ No, mine. Call in any time after eleven, to-morrOw, and I’ll show you the rest of the col- lection. Good-day.” ‘ . And then he began reaching for his hat with one hand and bowed me out with the other, so to speak. But he will find me sitting on the front ste s when he gets there at 11 A. M. to-morrow, if am still in the city, ready to resume where we left off. Yours as usual, . - NOAH NUFF. No legal living Necessary. BY WILL S. GIDLEY. O LAWYER JONES, of Hackensack, was busy the other afternoon putting the finishing touches to his brief in the celebrated cow case of Hay- seed es. Mudd, which was to be tried the next day, when the outer door opened and a meek, subdued—looking individual crept in and crowd- ed himself up in one corner of the room as far as possible and presently plucked up sufficient courage to remark: “ Aheml” “ Do you want anything of me, sir?” demand- ed the legal luminary, with a quick glance at the shrinking form in the corner. “ N—no; oh, no; I—I just come in to~to—-” “ To what, sir?” “ To get away from the old woman—I should say my wife, and have a few minutes’ rest. “ N 0. Where did you leave her?” “ In the drug store around the corner. She was behind the subscription counter trying on an electric belt when I slipped out and left her. She has bought about a dozen gimcracks since we come to town this morning, and now she’s bent on having an electric belt. Says she feels all tuckered out sometimes, and that belt is just what she needs to build up her system.” " Well, why don’t you get it for her?” “ See that lump on the side of my head? Think the woman who handed me that needs anything to build up her system? Imagine I want to commit suicide by buying her anything to make her any stronger than she is?” . “ I see. So she is that sort of a woman, is she?” “ She is, and, seeing you are a lawyer, I’d like to ask you a question, if you ain’t going to char e me five dollars for answering it.” “ ell, what is it?” “ If you was in my place and had a woman like that, would you get a divorce from her, or grin and bear it?” “ I think, if I wasn’t able to wallop her, I’d try for a divorce. The law doesn’t require you to live with a woman—” . “ The law don’t, hey?” interrupted a large, athletic-looking female, suddenly dawning in through the doorway, “ Putting him u to get a divorce, air you? Well, Mr. Lawyer, I’d jest advise you to ’tend to your own affairs. There’s no legal advice necessary. He’s my lawful hus— band and I’m his lawful wife, and if he don’t like anything I do let him stand up and fight me like a man, instead of calling on the law to per- tect him. Nice sort of a man, if he can’t per- tect himself against one woman! John Henry Stubbs, ain’t you ashamed of yourself?” “ Y-yes, of course.” “I thought so, and now you jest stop our whimpering and come along. It’s ’most mil ing time now, and I want you to bring the team around and lug the things I’ve bought out to the we on,and then we’ll go hum. Understand what say? All ri ht, then mog right along and do it before you ear something drop!” And J. Henry Stubbs “ mogged ” as re nested, and he didn’t hesitate over the sixteenth raction of a second about it, either. Verily, as the philosopher puts it, “ Woman is a poor, weak creature, but she gets there just the same. ' “ M. DE ENNATSKY, the Russian gentleman who bet 25,000 roubles that he would drive his troika from Samara to Paris in eighty days, reached Paris on March 17, twenty~two days ahead of time. . He used three little Ural horses, the maximum distance covered for any day be- United States Patent Office an myself was ing about 120 miles. THE WHAT-NOT APOTHEGMS. BY THE LIEUTENANT APOTHECARY. THE man who lost his voice has lately found it; it was locked up in his chest. . “ I feel bound to stay here,” as the fellow said when he was tied to the post. . . In adversity we look to Prov1dence, but in prosperity we are apt to go it alone. _ The success of an opera depends in a great measure on the quality of the operators. His cry before he got married was “ A less!” and after he was married it was “ Alas!” _ A doctor had such success in curing dis- ordered livers that he started a livery-stable. Some men ought certainly to have very healthy characters from the fact that they are ventilated so often. . “ What train did you come in ?” “ Well, just look at my wet clothes, and you can well see what rain I came in.” My young friends, the reason that a ’possum is called a ’possum is because it acts the ’pos- sum ; possumus est, that is. The worst cold snap of the season occurred when Spriggins’s girl snapped him off With some cold words and walked off with another fellow. “ There is a destiny that shapes our rends, rough sew them as we will,” as the man re- marked while his wife was sewing up a hole in his coat. ‘ A “'estern editor recently invested $10,000 in—but I guess I won’t spoil my reputation for veracity, or run any risk whatever on any such a statement. They are now making plates out of aper. Smith says he has ordered a set for his ta le, as on frequent occasions his porcelain plates have a bad habit of flying about his head assisted by his wife. There are also lots of newspaper-men in the country who would be glad to hear of a new use to make of rejected poems and anony- mous communications. A great deal is said nowadays about the lost arts, but it rather seems to me that the lost tarts question was sprung when I was a boy. I had access to the pantry. _ Smitherington says it is no use to tell his wife to shut her mouth, as her mouth is so large it takes an hour or two to complete the job, and by that time the storm is over. He touched his guitar and warbled: “ My love is sweetly dreaming now,” but she wasn’t, much; she was sitting in the parlor with her head on Alphadolphus’s shoulder and the light was turned down. , Bannerettes. (has of our well-appreciated authors has this to say: “ I wish to write tales that are clean and in no way hurtful to boys or others who are not weak-minded. It sometimes makes me dis- sted when I hear people denouncing “ Dime Nbvels” indiscriminately as being the ruin of boys who read them. In the place where I was born there were a large number of boy novel- readers, and every youn man among my schoolmates who has deve oped into anything more than an ordinary country plodder was, to some extent, a reader of “ Dime Novels.” The good-for-naughts are those who did not care for novels and who never read one from beginning to end. I know of scarcely an exception to this. I have taken pains to investigate the case of two boys whose minds were reported to have been deranged by novel-reading, and in both cases I found the real cause of their misfortune was something entirely different.” All of which is ver , very true. The reading that does harm is, rat, the daily and weekly papers that make much out of every crime and scandal—a half- column of detail where a mere paragraph would suflice to tell all that ought to be published ; and, second, those libraries or books that are either vulgar or vicious or both; but, ha pily, of this class of publications there are far ewer than is generally sup sed. The fact is, boys who are bad are usual y made so by the corrupt company they seek, and by frequenting liquor saloons and disreputable resorts. These sources of demoral- ization are in almost every town in the land, and just as long as they stand with open doors to do their devils’ work, just so long will our youth go astray. BUFFALO BILL sailed away the other day with sixty Indians under contract for a year in Europe with the Wild West Show. Pity the number could not have been a thousand, for then that many at least would have been self— sustaining. Drafting or enlisting them in the army is an excellent idea, for that compels them to abandon their lives of utter laziness and de- pendence. One feature of their present existence as not attracted the attention its importance demands, and that is their ruthless slaughter of the game still left in the Great West wilderness recesses. A writer in Forest and Stream, speak- in on this subject, gives this item in evidence: “ n experienced, careful hunter, who never kills one deer more than he actually needs for meat, told me that this fall he had found 300 fat deer that had been skinned by the Utes and then left for the crows and coyotes to pick. Not one particle of meat had been taken. A year ago, in Circleville Canyon, only twelve miles away, a little band of Utes hemmed in a bunch of fat deer and killed every one, taking onl the hides. In the bunch were eighty does, an the slaughter amounted to the destruction of not less than 150 fawns.” The Indian is essentially improvident, ruthless and wayward, and just as long as he roams overa vast area that is his “ reservation,” just so long will he be a sava e and a menace. Speed the day when he will be compelled to take a farm and learn the ways of a civilized existence! That alone will solve the “Indian problem.” Of course the squaws will have to do all the work, but Mr. Buck will at least be limited to his own farm and family to play the brute. '- MANY are the “ Americanisms” which are now frankly accepted in England asa part of the language. The London Daily News notes that “ caucus,” and “mugwump,” and “ boss,” and “to stump,” and “ platform” (programme, a schedule of policy), and “ gerrymandering,” and “lobbying ” have all been adopted; and it adds: “ But the Americans, except the small set of Anglom aniacs, borrow nothing in language from us—unha pily, least of all do they borrow our spelling. e are more likely to take up ‘ traveler,’ and ‘ honor,’ and ‘ theater,’ than the are to use the English uivalents.” Shouldn t wonder. As our change spelling is an advance, why in the world should we foliow the English stick-in-the—mud-of~centuries methods. If we continue to give Great Britain its best maga- zines, aud its best dictionaries, we can well af- ford to let the Bull growl and mutter over the departure from Johnson and the Imperial. BEING a king or queen, or of royal blood, does not by any means imply refinement of mind, or graces of person, or high moral excellence. er Majesty, Queen Victoria is well charac- terized as “ a dowdy old lady,’ who, if not her Majesty, would be a decidedly coarse and vul- gar matron. It is pleasant to know, however that at least one of her progeny is worthy of her princess station. A person who recently met the queen’s youngest daughter thus adverts to her: “ Princess Beatrice possesses one of the purest, best-modeled and sweetest faces I have seen in England. The poise of the head, the fineness of the features, the soft expression of the eyes, and the tender smile, combine to create an effect that can only be associated with women of queenly character. She is hi h-bred to her finger-tips, that is evident at a g ance, and, un- less all indications are deceptive, she is as pure and modest in heart as she is lovely of mien. Beatrice is the queen’s oungest daughter, and is thirty-three years 01 . Like all the ounger children of monarchs, she has been k in the background during the greater rt 0 her life, and it was not until she marri Prince He of Battenberg, six years ago, that the pub c became acquainted with her.” r .v-u-a-ummw rm nerve»: mmmemmamfimm W «tr- cept what I learned while IOOkilIlfil around there business within a week. the young man. Wine of the Wits. THE REASON WHY. TOM—“ Miss Banque has become cool toward me for some reason or other.” J ack—“ Can’t you think why?” . Tom—“ No; unless it is because I asked her If her uncle in Montreal used to be a bank- cashier.” VERY NEARLY RIGHT. DRUGGIST—“ I have been trying to make an imitation of High Rock mineral water, and I think I have succeeded at last. Taste that.” Dinwiddie (after a small drink)—“ It needs another old shoe and two superannuated tomato cans to the cask.”—— Chicago Inter-Ocean. A FALSE PRESENTIMENT. WIFE (fretfully)—“Something is going to happen, dearest. Yes, yes; I have a presenti- ment. I feel sure of it. ’ ' . Husband (thoroughly ac uainted With his spouse)——“ No, I think not. he dressmakerand milliner called while you were out, and I—er— settled the bills.” _ Wife (rapturously)-—-“ Darling!”—Amerwan Grocer. A DILEMMA. THE CAPTAIN—“ Colonel Waxem will be ban- queted after his weddin tonight, and [am to respond to the toast, ‘ one but the brave de- serve the fair.’ What the deuce shall I say ?" The Major—“I hardly know how to advise you. After you’ve seen the bride, you‘ll have to turn OUWBBCII into an argument to prove either t at axem isn’t brave or that he isn’t getting his deserts.” - A MISS-UNDERSTANDING. TYPEWRITER SALESMAN—“ Your typewriter is rather old; can’t I make a deal with you for an exchange?” Merchant—“No, siree- my time is too valu- able to allow me to spend the da in swearing. I’ve tried the young and giddy b onde variety, and although it gives me a pain to look at the old crow’s face, still the relief to my nervous system more than repays me. ” POLITICIAN WILL. MILLICENT—“ What is the meaning of ‘ reci- procit ,’ Will?” WfiI—“ It means an exchange in which neither party has the advantage; as for in- stance, if you were to give me a kiss ( ' e this) I would be obliged to give you one in return (like tibial) see?” 4 ‘ illicent—“Yes, how lovel ; but, Will, I don’t see how an old man like r. Blaine can be so interested in it.” HE FOUND IT AGAIN. MASTER TOMMY went into the room where his sister was entertaining her beau. “ Oh you’ve found it again, haven’t you, Mr. Smith?’ he said. “ Found what, Tommy?” asked Mr. Smith, blandly. , “ Your head; sister said you lost your head last night when you popped to her.” Awful silence, fOIIOWed by Master Tommy’s retreat from the room.—Detroit Free Press. MISUNDERSTOOD. DE MAscus—“ You’re looking pale to-day. Were you out last ni ht?” S’t. Agedore~“ es. There was a ball; and And then De Mascus lectured him for ten minutes on the enormity of old to bulls in Lent. When he was done St. g ore said: “ But it was a codfish-ball that upset me.” And the rest of the conversation was like the noise of a fire-cracker exploding in a tin can.— St. Joseph News. HORSE 0F ANOTHER COLOR. DAUGHTER—“ Mamma, Mr. Bank proposed to me last night.” Mother—“ Did you accept him?” “Yes, mamma.” “ Has he any money, daughter?” “ Only $1,800 a year, mamma.” ' ' “ You must get rid of him. That is no mone at all.” “ But he is a city official." “ That’s a different thing entirely. He will be very rich within a few years. Insist on the marriage coming off next week.” A WISE BIRD. J ICKs—“ J amson, you’ve insulted me, so to speak, through your parrot.” J amson—“ Whatever do man?” J icks—“ Why, when I entered the room just now the parrot said, ‘ Here’s that idiot of a J icks again 1’ Now, it must havo heard you or a member of your family say those words, or it would never have uttered them.” Jamson—“You don’t know that bird, Jicks. It’s a mai‘Velous creature, and often says things that it cannot possibly have heard any one say. Why, it’s just ike a human being, and can tell a person’s character at a glance.”—Pick life Up. “ BUSINESS.” MCPRUNE, the grocer, was never known to acknowledge that he was out of any article without calling attention to some other article that he did have. A bet was made by Johnson that he could ask McPrune a question that would cause him to omit the usual addendum. Said Johnson, as he entered the store where the boys had already gathered: _ “ Mack, do you think it will be Cleveland or Hill in ’92?” Mack replied with some as rity: “ Oh, bother! I’m out of po iticsl” Johnson was on the verge of giving vent to his delight, when Mack added: “ But I’ve got some of the best cheese you ever put your teeth into.”-—Boston Transcript. A NATURAL INFERENCE. THE visitor from Hawcreek had been invited to address the Sunday-school. " I am reminded, children,” said he, “of the career of a boy who was once no lar er than some of the little fellows I see here be Ore me. He played truant when he was sent to school, went fishing every Sunday, ran away from home before he was ten years old, learned to drink, smoke, chew tobacco, play cards, and slip in under the canvas when. the circus came around. He went into bad company, frequent- ed livery.-stables and low bar-rooms, finally be- came a pickpocket, in a fit of drunken madness he committed a cowardly murder. Children,” he continued, impressively, “where do you think that boy is now?” “ He stands before us!” guessed the children, with one voice.-—Ch1cago Tribune. TRAVELING TOGETHER. ’ I GOT aboard the cars at a small station in the interior of Penns lvania, and after I had settled myself comforts ly in the seat, I noticed a man immediatel in front of me whom I had seen in the town w are I got on the train. Presently a well-dressed, stud ans-looking young man ad- vanced from the rear of the car and took the seat with the man in front of me. “ Excuse me,” said the young man. “ I am a stranger to you, but I have some notion of lo- cating in L—’ (naming the town he had just left) “_ and I thought perhaps you could give me some information about the lace.” “ Are you a lawyer?” ask the other. “ No, am a physician,” replied the young man. “ Is that so? Well sir, I am glad to hear it. Go right ahead and hang out your shingle. and I’ll start right up there, too. ’m not a resident of L——, and know nothing about the place, ex- you mean, old to-day, but if you beat: there start up my “ May I inquire what your business is?” asked “Oh, certainly; I’m in the tombstone busi- ness.”-Toledo Blad . torrespomlgits' Column. [This column is open to all correspondents. In- quiries answered as fully and as promptly as cir- cumstances will permit. Contributions not entered as “ declined " may be considered as accepted. No MSS. returned unless stamps are inclosed.1 Declined: “The Back—bay Express;" “The Do a of Beacon Hill;” “A Romance in R d;” “ W by e Ventured:” “ The Mission of the \\ idowz” " A Very True Lie;" “To the Bt-st of His Know-led 9," etc.; “ Tie Ma or of Flip-fin ;" “ Against the ‘urrent;” “Miss Whittlesoy’s Début;” "Seventh Son,"etc.; “ A Cruise fora Head;" “ The Whangtown Schism;" “ Old Roxlana’s Grand Benefit ." “ The Broken Path;" “ Old Chief Sliirt-on-a-pole’s Prophec :" “Keeping His Oath;" “The Rustlcuss Exhib t;” . Sketches by A. H. M. C. S. E. We never make offers for matter that has not been carefully examined and accepted. CLARA B. “Cross-eyes" are not a defect of vision. It is strange you have not had the eye straightened. L. B J. Cologne is not now “distilled,” but. like ’most all perfumes, in alcohol " doctored" with a particular odor. MACK. Recruiting going on at all naval stations- Your nearest is Pensacola. Or. write to Recruiting Officer, Brooklyn, N. Y., Navy Yard. DANBURY. The Great Eastern was both a'. side- wheeler and a propeller. Her paddle-engines were of’ 1,000 horse-power, her screw-engines of 1,000 horse—power. CnARLnir DFAN. Midshipmen are graduated from the Naval Academy at Annapolis. Md., and are naval officers of that grade, serving on U. S. naval vessels, but not on the merchant marine of any country. Exam. The Nautical Almanac can be obtained through any dealer in astronomical or nautical goods. and t e Nautical Almanac office in Washing- ton will furnish back niimhers, if it has them to spare. ELLA D. Would suggest as the best for home or study use-—Whitney’s " Essentials of English Gram- mar ”—Ginn & Co., publishers- rice 85 cents. Gram- mar is Iiot so difiicult to acqu to or understand as you seem to think. TREASURER. According to the census of 1880, there is one Representative in Congress for every 151,912 inhabitants. Every State has at least one Representative: Delaware had only 146,000 inhabL tants; Nevada, 62,000; Colorado, 194,000. SPINK. An “ agnostic ” is not an atheist. An athe' ist denies the existence of God. but an agnostic is one who has no belief nor disbelief on the subject. but is entirely neutral. knowing nothing nor re- tending to know anything whatever about a God). BILLIE PIPER. The “ Blue Grass ” region com- pIISes Central ar d Eastern Kentucky.-—-Write for all spe cial information to editor of Kentucky Live Stock Record, Lexington.- No person can now Lope to become a “doctor “ under four or five years’ study and hospital service. DAN. The fees of a “ notary public " are prescribed by statute, and average about fifty cents for each acknowledgment. Notaries are appointed by the Govmnor, who usually names any one who desires it. Send your name to your asseniblyman next win ter and he will see to it. _ HA'IriiI. Skin once discolored by cigarette-smok- ing can only regain its whiteness and purity by wholly discontinuing the use of tobacco in any shape.-—January 11th, 1868 came on Saturday. Au- gus 11th was Tuesday.—Fortune-teilers are hum— bugs and impostors every time. VENNER, JR. In bays with contracted mouths or sea openln s, the tidal wave rushes in, and because of the shoe ing If the bottom, it is contracted, and made, so to speak. deeper and higher. In theBay of Fundy the tide rises thirty to fifty feet; at Sandy Hook the tide rises not quite five feet. DOCTOR DAN. Paine regretted havin published the “Age of Reason," but not having wr tten it° he in- dorsed its doctrines. butadmltted that its publication helped no one and harmed milny. Cannot say where {on can get an “ old ” copy. Rummage the second- banld book-stores, or leave order with a dealer in old 00 s. errm BUFFALO BILL. Mrs. Lsngtry is from the Isle of Jersev, and therefore is “ Engllsh,” although she claims French descent.-Shaken care was born at Stratford-on-Avon. A. D. 1564. am died at same place A. n. 1816.-~The 7th or February. A. b.1868, was Friday; the 7th of same month, A. D. 18:20. was Sunday. SAM SLICK. As many as twenty volcanoes have been in action in Iceland for the last1.000 years. The eruptions of Mt. Hecla have been the most fre- quent but not as disastrous and destructive as others. ' ‘he intervals between those eruptions vary from six to seventy five years, the aVerage period being about thirty‘five years. One eruption has lasted as long as six years. V MusICIAN. The song “ Annie Laurie ” was com- posed by a Mr. Douglas of Finland, about the close of the 17th or beginning of the 18th century.— 113011311 harp-strings are made of silk. Simply string them, of several sizes, on a frame and place the frame in a strong current of air.-—Dean Stanley was buried in Westminster Abbe , in Henry VII.’s chapel, in accordance with the esire of the Queen. H. K. W. The oldest. manuscript of the Old Testament was the Codex of Hillel. in Toledo, Spain ' it was destroyed A. D. 1197, being then perhaps 1.2 years old. The old: st copy of the Greek Testament s the Codex Sinaiticus, found in a convent on Mt. Sinai; it dates from the fourth century. A. D. Of course, none of the original manuscripts are extant; they were read to pieces, and renewed again and again. BROTHERBOOD. The first Bible was printed by John Gutenberg at Mentz in 1456; it consisted of 637 leaves of vellum. and the printin was done with cut metal type. This is the so cal ed Mazarin Bible. It is the Roman Vulgate. This Vulgate was a trans- lation by St. Jerome from the Hebrew and Greek into Latin. begun A. D. 389, finished A. D. 405; it was revised by Alcuin about 830, and by Lanfranc about 1070. Gutenberg used some manuscript copy of the Vulgate, not necessarily old . Mus. P. J. E. Malagasy is the language of the Hovas, the dominant native tribe; it is spoken over a large part of Madagascar. Instruction in the schools is given in that tongue, and in English or French, according as the schools are maintained by the English Protestants or French Roman Catho- lics. We have no idea with what Eastern or African language the Malagasy affiliates—The way to reach h great island is to proceed from here to London, thence by the Castle Line of steamers to Madagas- car, or to Havre. and thence by some French line. “COTTON CLo'ru” asks why English eopie call white cloth “calico,” while the peOple o the United States mean by the word " calico.“ onl printed options? And what the word “calico ’ means? (hlico really means lain white cloth made from cotton and the English use of the word is correct. This c_Oth then reCeives distinctive names accord- ingto its quality, or use: as. super calicoes, shirting calicoes. printed calicoes. etc. The word calico, ap- lied wholly to printed cotton cloth, is a mere col- oquiahsm of the United States. Calico gets its name from Calicut, in the East Indies, whence it was first imported. COI'NTRY LAD szs he. would like to know what he should do if duringa visit to some rich friends he has to use a finger~bowl. Do as the other people at the table do. After finishing your meal dip the ti s of your fingers in the water and wipe them upon the little napkin which is handed to you with. or under, the bowl. if no napkin is given with the bowl,wlpe your fingers, when you have wet them, upon your diunernapkin. If there is a small tumbler inside the tinger~bowi. containing water strongly flavored With pepperment or some other essence, it is for rinsing the mouth; or a few drops of it is swallowed to disguise any Odor of what has been eaten. SrunuNr MAJOR. The newly-elected ions. is sover- eign pontiff as soon as he is elected. 1In the Sistine Chapel the cardinals for the second time-tlie first time is immediately after the election, before the breakln u i of the conclave~go through the core— rrony o a oration, kissing the pope‘s foot. in St. Peter‘s the )ope seats himself on the high altar,and the cardina s again kins his foot. he embraces them each twice, and then blesses the people. On the Sunday after this installation he serves mass in St. Peter's, and the senior cardinal-deacon endues him with the pontifical mantle. Then he goes to the bai-. con ' above the great door of St. Peter's. where two car inal-deacons give him the tri le crown, which he puts on. In the church of St Sohn Lateran he receives two keys, emblematic of St. Peter’s powers as keeper of the gates of heaven. DANDY Evans. receives boys residing in New York City between 14 and years of age, of good character and physical condition, for two years’ training. with a view to sernce in the merchant marine. During the six warmer months of the year it cruises at sea; the re- maining six months it lies at the foot of East Thirty- first street, East River. It was formerly a United States sloop-of—war. and its officers are specially de- tailed from the United States Navy Department. Commodore A. J. Crownlnshield, U. S. N.. is the superintendent. The. ship's capacity is 200. Candi~ dates must have consent of parents. must read and write. must furnish a required outfit of undemloth- ing. and deposit $85 for outside clothing. Applica- tions should be made to the Executive Committee on Nautical School, 146 Grand street. The nautical schoolship St. Mary’s n .= S