...a. A- ....._.._”-__-.._._.;'.__~..._-A__._- A . 1 .._ _‘. A 1’. a. .-‘—..:«s.-‘ Tfmém‘asg-lzu“ L. 2 L < _ L" "‘ ‘_ h r' . _.. . 2.; . "5:. .“1 4.. ‘ away. m. meg-2,, A «at»! v . I .1, .._ 5‘, ,b@-,1,.é.: /. j. . .. .55.... s “new; -4..~..~...az-.~v t‘ . J11)» “- 1 no.3? l.‘- 3‘ \ " u .. ‘ — misfits Beamshlga @ /’fl\. (91; @Banng haw Published every Saturday morning at nine o'clock. NEW YORK, OCTOBER 15, 1892. Tan BANNER annx is sold by all Newsdeaiers in the United States and in the Canadian Dominion. Parties unable to obtain it from a Newsdealer, or those {preferring to have the paper sent direct, by mail. mm the publication office, are supplied at the following rates: Terms to Subscribers, Postage Prepaid: One copy, four months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..81.00 " " one year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.00 Two copies, one year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.00 In all orders for subscriptions be careful to give address in full, State, County andTown. The aper is always stopped, promptly, at expiration 0 sub- scription. Subscriptions can start with any late number. TAKE NOTICE. In sending money for subscription remit by Am. Express Money Order, Draft, . 0. Order, or Registered Letter, these being the best forms of remittance. Losses will almost surely be avoided if these directions are followed. Foreign subscriptions may be sent to our European agents, the INTERNATIONAL NEws COMPANY 11 Bon- verie street (Fleet street), London, England. Wall communications, subscri tions, and let- ters on business should be addresse to BEADLE AND ADAMS. PUBLISHERS. 98 WILLIAK ST.. NW You. [3‘ New readers will please notify their ms- dealer of their purpose to take THE BANNER WEEKLYregularly, so as to be sure of secur- ing it. Back numbers always on hand. “ [3' The stories appearing in THE BANNER WEEKL Y can not be had in Library form. NEXT! Gallant Dashing Charlie Again! [hr the Southnest Border. As successor of, and companion story to, his fine romance now running, Colonel Ingraham gives us Dashing Charlie’s Minute Men— a corps of Texan Wide Awakes and Boots and Spurs, whose life is one series of adventure and achievement that keep the reader’s attention ceaselessly on the alert. This series is notable in its realism, for its heroes are the real men of the army and their scouts, and the drama or story proper gives some episode that is known in the Southwest as one of the legends of that once turbulent region, that the men down there never tire of telling. So the new romance will be welcome! No Use for Hln on the BY WILL S. GIDLEY. THE Chief Mogul and General Manager of the railroad on stilts, as the Elevated Road is some- times called, was seated in his comfortable sanc- tum the other afternoon, busily computing the average number of passengers a car will hold without unduly straining the car, when the door suddenly swung open and a tall, rawboned specimen of humanity appeared on the threshold, hat in band, and, with an awkward, apologetic bow. ste ped inside. “Wei , sir, what can I do for you?" briskly inquired the pleasant-voiced manager of the aériai highway that threads the city from the Battery to Harlem, glancing up from his work and motioning his caller toward a vacant chair. Instead of acce ting this implied invitation to sit down, the tall, rawboned customer step over to the desk of the railroad magnate, doubled up his right arm and said in a confidential tone of voice: “ There, sir; just feel of that muscle, will you? How is that for a business recommendation 1” The manager made no move toward inspecting the roiifered “ recommendation." “ think, my friend, you have made a slight mistake,” said he, straightening up and placing his thumbs in the arm—holes of his vest. “ This is not a training-school for pugilists.” “Huh! Who said anything about pugilismi I won’t deny that I can give and take with the best of them if necessary, but I’m not on that lay now. It’s a business job I’m after, and I was just showing you my recommendations, all I happened to bring with me, and l’ll bet ten cents to a chew of tobacco you can’t scare up another pair of biceps like them on the whole line of the road.” “ But what has that to do with your getting a job? I don’t understand what you are driving at exactly.” “Don’t, eh? Well, you just put me up at Fifty-ninth street or down at the Battery on a busy day and I’ll show you what I’m driving at. Car-packer! That’s the job I’m after. If I can’t pack more passengers in a car than any man you’ve got on the road, then I’ll work for nothing and find myself. What’s the use of running trains with plenty of spare standing- room in the center of the cars going to waste? Why, I’ve seen cars going up and down your old road to—day, for instance, with not much over twice as many passengers standing up as there was sitting down; and, with the nice, roomy aisles you’ve got, three rows of passen- gers could just as wel he stood up in each car as two, and, as I said before, all you’ve got to do is to engage me and put me where the rush is the greatest, and-— Hey, what’s that?” “ I said I didn’t think we would require your services.” “Don’t, ehl Think you‘vo ot a better man for that line of business than am. maybe. so, that is where you are getting badly fooled. Jest examine that muscle once!” “ I don’t think it will be necessary.” “Then you positively decline my services?” “ I am afraid we shall have to; yes, sir.” “All right; that settles it. If you don’t feel like engaging an able-bodied car-packer, with plan of grit and muscle, now while you’ve got the c ance, all I ask is that you won’t blame me for it when the fall rush of travel commences and you have to put on another extra train in- stead ,of crowding the passengers all in the PI! PI “ Will you please go out?” wearin requested the “ L” manager, waving his hand toward the door. “ Certainly. I was just about to do so; but if you are forced to put on an extra train this fall some time, as I said before, don’t blame me for it. It isn’t my fault. I would have fixed things for you all right, but you scorned my services, and if your old road has to go into the hands of a receiver next spring, it’s your own lookout, not mine. “I wash my hands of the whole affair. Go ahead and run the road to suit yourself, and when she bu’sts up from trying to give too many of the passengers a seat, don’t blame me for it; that’s all.” And the Iank and lengthy applicant Was gone. A Pull a_t_the Poets. BY A. MINER GRISWOLD, (THE ” FAT CONTRIBUTOR.") DREADFUL fellows these poets are. Always misrepresenting things. Little or no reliance to be placed on anything they say. Goldsmith tells us of “Sweet Auburn, loveliest village of the lain,” carrying the idea that the place is main- y inhabited by carpenters—men of the plane. Auburn is chiefly noted for its State Prison. Sweet Auburn, indeedl , “ Not a drum was heard, or a funeral note,” wrote Wolfe, narrating the funeral of Sir John Moore. How can we rely upon his report of that funeral, when he didn’t take a “ funeral note?” “You must wake and call me early, call me early, mother dear,” sings Tennyson, in the May Queen. Now, why not call up Wade Hampton or Stonewall Juckson as well as Early? Fact is, this was before the war, and Early wasn’t heard of. When the little girl was dead, it was time enough to wake her. . Longfellow writes a poem and names It after Dan Rice’s celebrated trick-horse, “Excelsior.” He misrepresents things in the very first line, for he says, “ The shades of night were falling fast,” when it is a notorious fact that window- shades Were higher that year than they had been for a loag time. and were still going up. If we can’t rely on Longfellow, what fellow can we depend uponl Tom Moore sings, “ The harp that once through Tara’s balls the soul of music shed,” but neglects to state whether the harp, after shedding Music’s sole, was decent enough to get Music reshod. Perhaps, though, “ music shed” was a slang phrase applied in Moore’s day to a concert- saloon. It wasa cruel jest on the part of Cowper to make Alexander Selkirk exclaim, “ I am mon— arch of all I survey,” when Selkirk didn’t un- derstand surveying, and hadn‘t any surveying instruments if he did. Cowper can’t sell me, although he did Selkirk. I was at aome pains the other day to hunt up the homestead of the man who wrote “ Old Oak- en Bucket,” and found there wasn’t a well on the place. They brought all their water from a spring, in a tin pail! He must have had an iron- bound conscience or a moss-covered memory, to write as he did. The author of “ Casablanca” tells a pitiful story, how “ The boy stood on the burning deck,” when it was only a burning deck of cards. He couldn’t have “ stood” on that, only he had a god hand to stand on. Even Byron could write some absurd things. For instance, his lines to Tom Moore— “ My boat is on the shore, And my bark is on the sea." Of what use is a boat on the shore, unless it is a stone-boat? Queer way to announce that he had a bad cold, by saying, “ My bark is on the sea.” “'n y did n’t he stay at home, and bark it out on dry land? Campbell 0 us out, “ On Linden, when the sun was low,’ but don’t tell us who was high, Jack and the game. He was right, though, about the game being “on Linden." Camp- bell’s rhetoric is faulty, for, in the first verse. he changes his figure from a card-table to a ball—alley, when he speaks of “Iser rolling ra- pidly.” Campbell also records, in Verse, the elopement of LOrd Ullen’s daughter with an oil prince, known as “ Chief of Ulva’s isle." He relates haw Ullen’s hired men chased them on horse- back for three days, and yet begins the poem, “A Chieftain tb the Highlands bound." New, if the Chieftain Was bound to the Highlands. how could he have effected that three days’ flight? He was bound fast to his girl, more likely, for in the third verse we read: “ And fast before her father’s men ’I‘hrre days we’ve fled together; For should he find us in the glen. My blood would stain the heather.” For exposrng a delicate young lady in a leaky ferry-boat, on so inclement a night, the Chieftain should have been fined in the police-court, even if they hadn’t “find us in the glen.” But, these ts are so visionary. They are wholly unreliable, and they mix things up dread- fully. * Happy-Go-lu_elry Papers. Indians and the Lake George Variety. ' Cooper’s “ Tomus'rs‘ RETREAT,” LAKE GEORGE, Sept. 28, 1892. DEAR BANNER:— I thought when I last wrote we would wrench ourselves loose from this place ere this and meander onward or homeward as the case might be, but as the member of Congress from Jag- ville would put it, “ we are still in the same place where we was at,” or words to that effect. Emma Angelina has fallen in love with the silvery Horican, as she persists in calling Lake George, and she says she is going to stay here as long as the appropriation holds out, if it takes all summer and part of next winter. For the past dav or two Angelina has been clawing over the Last of the Mohicans by the late Fenimore Cooper, who wrote the first dime novel—and a good one it was, too—and founded Cooperstowu in his spare moments, for both of which he is justly famous, and she says that here, in the classic vicinity of Lake George, is where the Mohicans made their last stand and nobly died in defense of what they mistakenly supposed to be their rights. “ Sad, isn’t it,” concluded she, in weepfui ac- cents, “oh, how sad, to reflect that the fleet- footed and picturesque red-man who once pad- dled his birch-bark canoe on these silvery waters or strode majestically through the mighty for- ests that covered the valleys and the hi ltops has, alas, passed away forever l” “ Yes, I suppose it is,” said I, “but there is no special call for worrying over it. There are plenty of them left—such as they are. I saw at least thirty Indians down at the landing when the boat came in this morning, every mother’s son of them dressed in some pampered white man’s cast-off clothing, peddling gimc: acks out of a basket.” “ You are just too mean and horrid for any- thing, Noahl” pouted Angelina. “You know I was talking about the Mohicans, of whom Cooper writes so beautifully, not the kind of In- dians they have here now. You may laugh and make fun of me if you want to, Noah, but to one who has felt the romantic thrill of the Last of the Mohicans it is indeed sad, painfully and unmistakably sad, to visit the scene of that im- mortal work and find them no trace of the noble race who once held away, no signs of Uncas or Chingnchgook or—or— I declare if I haven’t for- gotten the names of the rest of them.” “ Never mind,” said I. consolingly: “ they are all dead nOW, anyhow, I believe you said, and it won’t do any good to cry over dead In- dians or spilt milk. Put on your hat and we will go out to the encampment and interview the ignoble red-man of the presentsiay, Chin- What’s- His - Name-With-Something-toSell. Old-Ma Afraid-of-the-Bath-Tub, Big-lujun—With-a-Piug: Hat, Young~Man-Full-of~Frreu ater, Heap-Ba - Man-in-a-B’iied-Shirt, and the rest of the tribe, and perhaps you will get a chance to secure another bargain in the way of a birch-bark scrap basket. You have only bought sixteen of them since you have been up here, and—” “ I’ll buy twenty-five more of them if I want to. So therel” interrupted Angelina, turning .. on the water-spout of her emotions; and for the next half-hour I had an extremely interesting time of it, trying to convince Mrs. N. that I wasn’t such a brute as she evidently took me for, and that I had no intention of injuring her feel- ings or those of Mr. Cooper’s celebrated Indians, either, for that matter. It was hard work, but I finally succeeded. N. B. And it cost me exactly fifteen dollars, the price of a complete edition of the f‘ Leather Stocking Tales,” by J. Fenimore Cooper, which Angelina will own as soon as we get back to the citv. I am almost sorry, now, that I made myself quite so free with my remarks when Angelina was indulgin in her wail of sadness over the departed, nob e red-man—the kind that Cooper tells about. The Lake George Indian, as I have previously observed, is a different kind of hair-pin, to bor- r0w the expression of the Boston girl; but even he, like the sea-serpent, will turn when trodden on. I saw a trifling incident illustrative of this out at the Indian encampment near here day before yesterday. An Englishman, who had “just run over, you knew,”to kill a few buffaloes and Indians, and pick up the raw material for a book abusing the “ blawsted country,” which he intended pub- lishing upon his return to “dear old Lunnon,” drove out to the camp in a back, which he had hired for the day so he could hustle around and see all that was worth seeing as soon as possrble and continue on his journey. This was the second day he had spent in New York State, it seems, and he was getting some- what bored. He had taken special pains, so I afterward learned, to inform the landlord and all hands at the hotel where he took breakfast upon alighting from the train that morning, that the only reason he came to Lake George was because it Was named in honor of King George 111., who could have walloped this country with one hand tied behind him if he hadn’t been too generous to do it. He allowed that J. Brill, Esq., was cock of the walk at the present date and always had been, in spite of a few trifling set-backs like the Revolu- tionary skirmish and the little difficulty of 1812, and as nobody ventured to dispute the matter with him, he began to believe so himself and act accordingly. The representative from London was still step- ping quite high when he reached the encamp- ment of the affable but unregenerate Lake George Indian, and the first thing he did to amuse himself in his hearty English way and im- prcSS the aborigines with the fact that he had arrived with both feet, as it were, was to walk up toa particularly meek and inoffensive-looking descendant of L0 the poor Indian that we used to read about in our school-boy days, and play- fully kick his basket of trinkets over into the adjoining township, then he Sportiver cuffed offdhis second—hand plug-hat and jumped on it, an — Just then the meek-looking Indian woke up and arrived with both feet himself. He arrived in the pit of the facetious Englishman’s stomach, doubling him up worse than a dose of early cucumber cramps and placing him horse do come back. in P. D. Q. (which stands for pretty decidedly quick) time. Then, while the meek and lowly Lake George red-man was gathering up his headgear and scattered wares, the hackman thoughtfully separated the Eu lishman from the barbed wire fence, in which 9 had landed to the serious detriment of his clothes and good looks, tumbled him into the bottom of the hack, and rspidl y drove away. Half an hour later the tourist from the British Isles was down at the railroad station, negotiat- ing for a through ticket to Montreal, and telling the ticket agent he “didn’t want to stay another blawsted minute, don’t you know, in a bloody. blawsted count where a blooming band of wild Indians is ' ble to pounce on a man and knock him down, and come blawsted near killing him, don’t you know, when he is walking peaceably along the streets minding his own bloody business, and interfering with no- body, don’t you knOW.” And the agent said he didn’t have time to in- vestigate, but if such was the case he didn’t blame him a bit for leaving, not a solitary par- ticle. He would, too, if he felt that way about it. NOAH NUFF. h Bannerettes. OUR Mr. Adams’s letter [see 8th go] from shipboard is a capital transcript of its on our “ ocean greyhounds ”—as the City of New York and her consort, City of Paris may wall he termed. The return home, to find the whole vast anchorage in the Lower Bay of New York Harbor swarming with steamers and vessels held in quarantine was a great surprise; but that the noble steamer, with her notable passen- ger guests, was detained only for a day, was her good fortune. This quarantine is sad busi- ness indeed for the people on steamers from in- fected ports. “WE found upon the mantelpiece,” said the French lawyer’s clerk, “neither clock, nor or. naments, nor a calendar, nor a match-box, nor a looking-glass, nor any of the things usually found on s. mantelpiece. Therewas nothin on the mautelpiece.” This is paralleled by aut ors and authors, whose “ contributions to American Literature” are the pres-reviser’s terror. Such writers proceed upon the hypothesis that the best way to please the reader is to be voluble, and gauge their success by the measure of their pcqiixity. It is not a fecundit of ideas, or exu- berance of fancy, but quite t e contrary: this word-affluence is, in reality, a substitute for ideas and fancy, as editors and revieers dis- cover, to their sorrow and disgust. The author who uses twenty words of which ten can be ex- cerpted with benefitto the text, is never a wel- come guest in the editorial room. What we need is a School of Journalism that will teach, as a first requisite, a correct narrative style. Our schools, as a rule, are rankly deficient in touching composition and its proprietics; and it is a truism among editors that a so-called “good education,” in nine cases out of ten, brings with it a paltry equipment for good press-work. BOTH Corbett and Sullivan appear to have adopted the business of pugilism in spite of good religious training. Corbett was educated at the Sacred Heart College, San Francisco, and Sul- livan was for a time a student of Boston College, an institution connected with the Church of the Immaculate Conception, in that city. Public Opinion, which has been investigating the joke business, says that a good original joke which is easily illustrated brings as hi h as $5. The magazines and papers which pay Tor their jokes have regular prices. Professional jokers send a supply of from ten to fifty jokes to the papers paying best, and the editor in charge of that department chOoses those which suit him and sends back the rest. These are then Sent to the next best-p »ying publication, and so on, un- til thcy reach the papers which pay but 50 cents. Such as are then returned the joker con- siders useless. A professional joker can make about 100 jokes a week, and, as joke-making must soon become a habit, perhaps the brain is not too greatly tasked in their manufacture. THERE has been in England an interesting discussion as to the moral superiority of spinsters over matrons, from which it is shown that women who have achieved real greatness in his- tory and shown greatest valor have been as a rule unmarried, the most illustrious examples given being Queen Elizabeth, Charlotte Corday, Joan of Arc, Florence Nightingale, and Sister Rose Gertrude. A NEGRO was thrashed in Galveston by another negro on the ground that he had attempted to separate the latter from his wife through voudoo- ism. While he was on his way to a hospital in a patrol wagon he gave to a detective what is known among the neg roes as a “ jack,” which is composed of several items, among others a cer- tain bone of a graveyard rabbit, a finger-nail taken from off the finger of a dead man, some hair, lodcstone, a bone of a jet-black cat, all sewed up in a small red flannel bug about the size of a very large strawberry, and having something of the same shape and appearance. 4 Wine of the Wits. - DOUBTFUL. “ HAVE you fixed up my will?” said the sick man to Lawyer Quillips. u Yes.” “ Everything as tight as you can make it?” “Entirely so.” “ Well, now, I want to ask you somethin -—— not professionally, but as a plain, every ay man. Who do you honestly think stands the best show for getting the property l”—Life. A TRUE “'EATHER FORECAST. TEACHEa—“ When the temperature falls sud- denly a storm is forming south of you.” Scholar—~“ es, ma’am.” Teacher—“ When the temperature rises sud- denly, a storm is forming north of you.” Scholar—“ Yes, ma’am. ’ Teacher~“ Now when the temperature rises suddenly what happens?” Scholar—~“ Everybody sweats and gits mad.” CON QUERID. “JOHNNY,” said his mother, “if you don’t quit smoking cigarettes you won’t grow a bit.” “Don’t care if I don’t,” responded Johnny, sullenly. “ And, of course,” continued the good woman, “if you don’t get any bigger you will still have to wear clothes made from your father’s old ones. ‘2 I guess I’ll quit, ma.”—Indianapolis Jour- na . A TREMENDOUS ADVANTAGE. THE passenger with the slouch hat and faded hair bit off a big chunk of navy plug and crunched it savagely. “Yes,” he said, putting the remains of the plug back in his pocket. “ that’s where we hold over them fellers in the front car. There’s only one smokin’-car, you see, but every blamed car on the train is a cheu'in’rar. b’gosh.” And be. flooded the aisle with tobacco-juice and shifted the quid tothe other side. THAT’S WHAT IT MEANS. SEEKER—“ Our estate matters are getting in such an unsatisfactory state that I have about made up my mind to take a friend’s advice, and begin a partition suit. Did you ever have any- thing to do with one?” Sageman—“No, but I have learned all about them.” . Seeker—“ And such a suit virtually means a division of the estates doesn't it?” Sageman—“ Precisely—between the lawyers and the court.”—BOSlon Courier. THE LIGHT THAT FAILED. “THERE goes Sir Edwin Arnold,” observed the hostess to her Chicago visitor. “ Who's he?” inquired the visitor with inno cent curiosity. “ Why, don’t you know him? He’s a famous London editor, and he wrote the ‘Light of Asia.”’ “ Wrote up the light of Asia,did he?” remark- ed the visitor, with interest. “I didn’t know they had bad gas there, too; but I’m glad to find out that these newspaper men are some good after all.” THE LORD AND THE LADDIR. AT a small loch. about twenty~five miles from the town of Aberdeen, a certain Lord B. was watched while fishing by a shepherd laddie for a period of over two hours, during which time his Lordship did not catch a single fish. Getting rather annoyed, he addressed the boy: “ I say, my little lad. do you know if there are any fish in the pond?” “Well, yer Lordship,” the boy replied, “if there is any they must be awfu’ sma’, ’cause there wis nae waiter there tae it rained yester- day."-—Boston Globe. NO TEARS TO SHED. “THE boom in your town seems to have burst,” observed the Eastern man, who was making a trip through the Far West. “ You bet it has!” responde the editor of the local paper with much heartiness. “ But in your capacitv as a newspaper man you try to keep up a show of cheerfulness, I presume?" “ Me?” exclaimed the editor. “ Try to keep up a show of cheerfulnessl Thunder! I’m cheerful enough. I’m making $150 a week pub- lishing notices of trustees’ sales.” REPAIRS PREFIRABLE. DURING war times an old negro mammy met with an accident on the cars which left her with various bruises, including a sprained ankle and a dislocated wrist. Her mistress advised her suing the railroad cenrpany for damages. “ I certainly would sue them, aunty,” she said, “ and for good-sized damages, too.” “ Lord, Lord,” exclaimed old aunty. “ Sue de company fer damages, hone . Doesn’t ye think I’se got damages ’nuffl o, no, hone ; when dis pore old nigga sues that companv s e done sues ’em for repayas.”—Kate Field’s Wash- ington. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SIGHT. “ Now, this is one of the most delightful mornings, Farmer Hayseed,” said his city guest, in her enthusiasm. “ Yes, miss, it’s a very proper mornin’, but you should ’a’ been up half an hour earlier.” “ Why, were the sunlight tints more beauti- ful upon the hills than now i” inquired the young lady, fearing she had missed an opportunity for artistic ecstasy. “I dunno ’bout that; but you ought to have seen the rum us Josh had with the whitefaced heifer. She icked the bottom out of the pail and landed him t’other side 0’ yard in a hurry.” —Te:cas Siftings. NUGGETS. THE man who is willing tohave only a little religion will never have any. Sin would never hurt anybody if it couldn’t look little and harmless at first. No man loves God a bit, who does not love Him with every dollar he is worth. No Christian wants purity in his heart who does not also want it in his church. One sinner in heaven would be as much of a start there as the devil would want. Too many people are electric lights in prayer- meeting and tallow dips at home. It is not according to God‘s plan that any Christian should carry an ounce of weight. The love that men have for little sins is the same kind that the devils have for big ones. Every sermon ought to have something in it that the devil will have to try to answer.— Ram’s Horn. TIHE DIDN’T COUNT. SEVERAL men were talking of superstitions so common among all classes of people. As a mat- ter of com-Se, one of the things touched upon was the supposedly fatal number thirteen. An old colored man who happened to be within hearing distance felt moved to remark: “I wants to tell you, gemmen, not to make fun 0’ dat thirteen business. I ain’t su rfishus, but I tell you,don’t you eat at no table w ar thar’s thirteen. I dun do that and I hope to die if pretty nearly every one of dam ain t dead and buried." His hearers expressed surprise at his remark- able statement and asked for particulars. “ Well, some of them got killed, and one thing an’ another, and some jest nachelly died. But day is pretty nearly all gone tO-day.” “ How long ago did this thirteen-at-table in- cident occur?" “ Now, lemme see. Been about thirty year since the war, ain’t it? Well, I ’specs it must a- happened ten years before the war broke out. But it makes me feel about as uneasy as though it was only yesterday.”—Chicago Times. Correspondents’ Column. [This column is open to all correspondents. Inquiries answered as fully and as promptly as circumstances will permit. Contributions not entered as “declined” ma be considered ac- cepted. No MSS. return unless stamps are inclosed.] Declined: “ Held up;” “ King Cat ;” “ The Game of Life 2,” “ A New Head ;” “ Her Uncle’s Way ;” “ Rip the Ripper,” “ Sailing the Sunless Sea ;" “ Marth Bla ze’s Trance ;” “ The Sky Pilot’s Heaven ;" “A Numerous Mistake;” “ A Walking Arsenal,” etc.; “ By Ten O’Clock,” etc.; “ The Muscogee’s Death Song,” “ A Bear on Toast;” “Blessing the Pot;” “An English Reference;” “ Old Man Sauk’s Widow;" “ Kept in Faith ;" “ Mrs. Digg’s Funeral ;” “ Seven Sons,” etc.; “ The Score at Cut Off ;" “ An Engineer’s Delu- sion,” “ Sending Down the Last Bucket." L. K. We will examine the work. R. B. Money must accompany every order. WELCH. " Woe is Me, Alhama!” is Byron’s. T. D. True Asiatic Cholera never originated in this country. EUNICE. There is no sale for such poetry. It is not wanted anywhere. ADRIAN. No manuscript considered that comes underpaid in postage. On your inclosure 6 cents is marked “ due.” Miss A. M. Take one of the art papers— either Art Amateur, or Art Interchange. They will aid you in all things in such a school of de- sign. WM. J. P. For the nervousness, rest. Abjure even sedatives, and of course let all stimulants alone. Your “old physician,” we infer, is a humbug. VET. Why have you not laid the case be- fore the War Department? Best go on to Washington in person and studiously avoid all “ claim agents.” BORDENS READER. Our DIME DIALOGUES are such a mine of minor dramas and amateur stage pieces, you require no original work for your club, even if you are able to pay. DAVIDSON’S CQaNERs. Street lamps using gas for illumination were first used in London in 1813. Gas for that purpose was introduced in Boston in 1822, New York 1827, and Philadel- phia 1835. AFFLICTED. The instant your child is taken with croup, pulverize as much alum as will fill a tea-spoon. Mix this with twice the quantity of sugar and administer immediately. It will cure the disease promptly. SUSAN R. Write to the superintendents of the training—schools for nurses attached to the New York, Bellevue, Charity, Mount Sinai and Woman’s Hospitals. If so well commended you ought to have no difficulty in securing a place in the classes. SAILOR Ton. The steam-yachts are usually rigged With sails, also, to provide for any acc - dent to the machinery. as well as to have the sails in use in a favorable wind—You will have to get an owner’s permit in order to inspect one of these yachts. FOREST STATION. The War for the Union commenced April 12th, 1861, and ended April 3d, 1866.—Maryland was settled by English Ro- man Catholics, under the patronage of Lord Baltimore. That is why so many of its old families are Romanists. ABIJAH JOHN. New York, at the time of the first election of President of the United States, not having then ratified the Constitution, chose no electors. and of course the Sta cast no vote for President. This was also e case with Rhode Island and North Carolina. TRAPPIR Tom. The Committee appointed to draft the Declaration of Independence consisted of Thomas Jefferson, John Adams. Benjamin Franklin, Robert Livingston, and Roger Sher- man. Jefferson did the transcribing, as the ori- ginal document shows. It is interlined in places by Franklin and Adams. YPSILANTI READER. The year 1900 will not be a leap year. Only those centurial years— years that end a century—are bissextile whose first two figures are divisible without a remain- der by four.— Robert G. Ingersoll is his correct name. He is now practicing law in this (New York) city. He was colonel of the Eleventh Il- linois Cavalry Regiment—that is why he is “ Colonel ” Ingersol . SAND TOWN. The gopher of the Western plains is a little burrower—the name implying as much, being from the French gaufre, honeycomb; the gopher villages literally honeycomb the ground. But in different States a different animal is called gopher. In Illinois he is a gray ground- equirrel ; ditto in Canada; in Wisconsin a ground striped squirrel, while in Missouri the gopher is a pouched rat, with mole-like feet. MASTER MECHANIC. There are many com- pound words from which the hyphen should be dropped; but there are many others in which it should be retained to avoid a misunderstanding of the writer’s meaning. The rule should be that where no such misunderstanding is possible and no mispronunciation likely to result, the hyphen should be dropped—The custom here and now is to write ‘ Jr.” without the capital letter. MASTER MECHANICS SON. We know of no evening medical school in this city or in Phila- delphia. To study medicine you will have to give up everything also, and study all day and part 0 the night. too. Send to the Secretary of the College of Physicians and Surgeons, Fifty-ninth street and Tenth avenue; or of the University Medical School, Twenty-sixth street near Avenue A; or of the Bellevue Medical School, Bellevue Hospital, for catalogues and information. Ton HENRY. The flag of France is called “ the Tri-Color,” but any flag of three distinct colors evenly divided is equally a tri-color. The Tri-Color (1 France is a flag evenly divided into three perpendicular spaces—the first (nearest the pole) blue, the center One white, and the outer one red. The flag of the Belgian merchant—- ships, of the German merchant-ships, of the Mexican merchant-ships, of the Russian mer- chant-ski *, and the ensign of the Netherlands, are all t -coiors. OSCAR H. We suppose you mean the Apte- ryx. We know of no specimen in this countr . There is a fine stuffed specimen in the Smit - sonian Institute. Yet, it is not a raid avis. As to its value or possibility of being raised in New Mexico with profit, that we cannot answer. Who canf—You must examine your Own local statutes as to appointment as Commissioner of Deeds. Laws differ in all the States.—-lf a notary has power to sanction marriage in any State, we don’t know it. Gro. B. You must get a certificate of your marriage under the assumed name; to that afiix an aflidavrt that you married the woman at the time and place set forth in the certificate, and an afiidant of the minister who married you, that you, George B., are the person who on such a date was married under the name of to such a woman; further, have him make an entry in his books of the facts, and file a copy of the afli- davit with the County Clerk n ith whom the marriage was registered to the same effect. LEBANON READER. Almost all druggists now sell the so-calied “ Sun Cholera Cure.” It is put up by Wyeth, of Philadelphia, we think, as a patent medicine—In cholera time anything that affects or stream the digestion is to be avoidai. —Cholera, it is now known, is due to the pres- ence, in the intestines, of a bacillus. A good di- gestion kills it, before it can reach the bowels, so a person with perfect digestion need not fear the dread disease. Ordinary bowel troubles yield to remedies, but not the read Asiatic Cholera, which is the comma bacillus: no remedies can affect it that would not also kill the patient. It is readi- ly destroyed by strong acrds. The danger of contagion is from the excreta—one drop Of which conta as numerous bacilli. :==: 7‘,\ m—vvkm