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(The Beringn Week]?

Published every Saturday morning at nine o’clock.

 

NEW YORK, APRIL 30, 1892.

 

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IN OUR

The White Sheik;

NEXT.

THE SCOUTS OF THE DESERT.

The Romantic Adventures of a Young
American in the Land of the
Pharaohs.

BY CHARLES MORRIS.

Just what it isz—romantic adventures in old,
old Egypt, over the burning sands, amid fierce
and warring tribes of Bedouins: and all in com-
pany with the

Noble But Fated Gordon,

whose death at Khartoum, a year after the
events described in this fine story, forms one of
the saddest, most thrilling episodes in modern
history.

The American youth, having been dispatched
by his father, in New York, on a very impor-
tant mission, into Upper Egypt, is accompanied
by a veritable old sea~dog of a sailor, who cou-
stitutes himself the boy’s special guardian, but
who, like the daring youth, is never so happy as
when the risk of life is greatest.

The whole romance is just alive with the in-
terest of very strange happenings, very real
peril, and very odd associations; and detailing,
as it does, desert life as it is—depicting the ac-
tual events of the great Gordon’s journey to the
Upper Nile—it is truly interesting reading, a
story that old and young alike will peruse with
deepest satisfaction, and elicit from all a hearty

“ Thank you, Charles Morris!"

Jagger's’s Ho_m_e_-Made Shirl.

BY “'ILL S. GIDLEY.

“ To-MORRow,” said Mrs. J aggers, softly,
“will be your birthday, Hannibal, and I have
prepared a great surprise for you.”

“ Have you C!" asked Mr. Jaggers, looking up
from his paper. “ Something good—er—to
eat?‘

“ No, I made a birthday-cake for you last
year, you remember, and—” '

“ Yes,” interrupted J aggers, with a grim
smile; “I also remember that the confounded
thi —excuse me for saying confounded, dear,
but can’t help it when I think of that cake—
lemme see; where was I? Oh, yes, as I started
to say, I also remember that the confounded
cake nearly killed me.”

“ That was because you tried to eat it all at
one meal,” remarked Mrs. J., sweetly. “ You
seemed to lose sight of the fact that no mere hu-
man being hes the digestion of an ostrich—”

“ I should say not, but they’d need it if they
were going to eat that kind of cake,” broke in
Joggers. “ You called it a pound cake, I pre-
sume, because every mouthful wei bed a pound.
If I had taken another bite of it, would have
been an angel this blessed minute.”

“ If you are sure of that, you ought to have
kept on. You may never have another chance
like that, Hannibal.”

“ Don’t try to be funny, Mrs. J aggers. You’ll
be a worse failure at that, I’m afraid, than you
are at making birthday cake.”

“All right, I’ll never make you another one
if you live to have as many birthdays as
Methuselah.”

“ Oh, you needn’t get your back up that way,
Roxanna. I was only joking. Don’t let’s quar-
rel until after to-morrow. You said you had a
surprise prepared for me then, I believe.”

“ Yes, but if you are going to make such a
time over everything I give you I’ll keep it my-
self. I—l was going to let you try it on to-
night, but—”

“ Oh, it’s something to wear, is it?”

“ Yes, but I don’t know whether to—to let

on see it or not. You will only make fun of it,
know; you’d be just m—mean enough to do it;
so there!”

“No I won’t, on my honor, Roxanna. Hope
to never smoke another cigar if I do. Don’t go
to suiffiing, but bring out whatever it is and let
a fellow have a squint at it.”

“ You said on your honor?"

u :Yep.”

“ All right,” and without another word Mrs.
J aggers stepped across the room, opened a
bureau drawer, and taking from it a neatly-
folded garment placed it on her husband’s lap,
with the remark:

“ There, Hannibal! I made every stitch of
that shirt myself.”

It looked it, but Jaggers didn’t say so. He
got up and left the room, taking that home-made
shirt with him, and for the space of half an hour
no sound came from the adjoining apartment
save the groans and subdued cuss-words of a
large, athletic man frantically trying to fit him-
self inside of a shirt that was evidently con-
structed for a cigarette-smoking dude or some
consumptive fifteen-year-old boy.

At the expiration of that time Jaggers came
forth with that shirt tied up in a hard knot and

flung it into the corner with the remark:

 

“ Mrs. Jaggers, I said I wouldn’t make fun of
this shirt, and I won’t: lint if you ever dare to
make me another like it I’ll file an application
for divorce on the grounds of cruel and inhuman
treatment, and bring the blamed shirt into Court
to prove it 3" '

And all the comment that Mrs. J. made was
that “ Jaggers was a brute,” and I begin to
suspect she was more than half right, as woman
generally is in such cases.

Happy-Go-llclly Papers.

Peters Calls on Noah. His Schemes
for Booming the Weekly Gimlet.

DEAR BAXNER: «

I have just endured—I should say enjoyed the
distinguished honor of receiving a visit from
Editor-in-chief and Poetdarint Peters of the
Grabville Gimlet, who has come to town to study
metropolitan journalism at short range and ac-
cumulate a cartload or so of more or less valu-
able ideas for home consumption. _

lie dropped in at my private bmuloir about
three hours ago accompanied by a notebook and
the stub of a pencil and with a copy of the
I'Vcckly Gimlet sticking out of one overcoat
pocket and a roll of manuscript protruding from
the other.

When I first caught sight of Peters the idea
occurred to me that perhaps he had the manu-
script wrapped around a piece of lead pipe and
had come to interview me in regard to the arti-
cles I have published about the W eekly Gimlet,
and I was on the pomt of sliding down the ban—
nister into the cellar to avoid awkward explana-
tions, when be reassured me by coming forward
with extended hand and heartily exclaiming:

“ Why, how are you, old man! How-d’ye-do?
You look just as young and chipper as you did
when you lived in Grabville six or eight years
a o.”

“ Thank you. Same to yourself,” said I.

“ Not at all, old man; not at all,” shed
Peters. “ And now, while I think of it want
to compliment you by saying that your sketches
still possess all the sparkle and jeu a‘cspri't of
your salad days. Some funny men write them-
selves out in two or three years, by trying to be
too hilarious or spreading it on too thick, but
With you it is different. Your humor is like
linked sausage—I mean linked SWeetness, long
drawn out."

This sounded like a doubtful compliment. and
I was debating in my mind whether I ought to
thank Peters or sue him for libel, when he ub-
ruptly changed the subject by asking:

“ Seen the Morning Snortcr‘s new scheme for
advertising itst?"

“No; west is it?"

“Donkey engine; they’ve got it in the win-
dow with a Zulu from Thompson street shovel-
ing in coal and another sitting on the safety
valve, and the Snortcr reader who guesses the
nearest to the time the grand blou-u will occur
will be presented with a free pass to Isamtcliatka
and return and all expenses aid.”

“ Including the funeral expenScS of the gentle
men from Thompson street!"

“ The Snorter doesn‘t say anything about
that. They are both probably readers of the
Morning Arliser, which insures the lives of all
its patrons at five hundred dollars apiece, so if
they get blown into mince-meat their friends will
realize enough to pay for gathering up the re—
mains and having them cremated. and have a
few dollars left over for their trouble.

“ I tell you, it takes the New York papers to
make things hustle and boom. No use talk—
ing, I’ve got to have a donkey engine for the
Gimlel—J’

At this point I remarked sotlo race that, see-
ing Peters had the donkey already, it ought to
be an easy matter to get the rest of theequip-
ment, whereupon he stop: ed talking, and, glar-
ing at me, remarked suspiciously:

“ Huh! W'hat’s that?”

“ Oh, nothing: I was just, thinking, that’s all,”
explained I, glibly.

“Thought I heard you say something about a
donkey,” muttered Peters. .

“ No, sir; I never even mentioned your name
—-that is, if I said anything of that kind, I
must have been thinking of the donkey engine
you spoke of. Nothing personal intended, I
assure you.”

“ All right," said Peters, in a mollified tone of
voice, “ I accept your apology; and n )W I would
like to know what you think of the latest iSsue
of the Gimlet ?”

“ Oh, it will do for Grabville, I suppose.”

“ Oh, it will, eh? “'ell, my friend. I want
you to understand that what will do for Grab-
ville is good enough for any place, not even ex—
ceptiug New York City.”

Peters was evidently getting his mad up
again, so I thought a few more mollifying re-
marks would be appropriate at this juncture,
but before I could get a word in edgeways, as it
were, the aroused and indignant representative
of Grabville journalism went on:

“ I may not be able to hire Ward McGallisterto
edit the society news for the Gim let and tell
people not to use their napkins to sit on or eat
pea-soup with a fork, but when it comes to
guessing-contests. the II'eeHy Gimlet can keep
its end up with the best of ’em. I presume you
saw my ‘ Setting Hen Contest’ announcement in
this week’s Gimlet, didn’t you?”

“ Don’t think I did. I noticed a cut of a
rooster on the first page, but I thought you were
merely crowing over some political victory in
the usual rural journalism style, so I skipped the
reading matter.” _

“ Rural journalism be hanged! That, sir, was
the announcement of the Gimlct’s grand and un-
paralleled hen prize. Ihad to use the rooster
cut because I didn’t happen to have any of a
hen, but it is all the same, I reckon, as long as
the Gimlet readers catch onto the idea. Let-
me read you the announcement.”

I groaned, but Peters calmly went on:

“ ‘ GRAND PRIZE FOR GIMLET GUESSERS.

“ ‘ The editor of the U'ccHg/ Gimlet takes
pleasure in announcing that, after much anxious
thought and deliberation, he has at last hit upon
a scheme to interest and amuse as well as bene-
fit our readers. Every one knows, or ought to
know, that out of the vast quantities of eggs
placed under the setting hens of the country each
spring a certain proportion fail to hatch. Some
times a careful, painstaking hen will produce a
dozen chickens from a dozen eggs, and sometimes
the same hen will come to the scratch with only
a small and select family of six, and all on earth
that the rest of the eggs are. good for are to
throw at. people who think they can lecture and
can t.

“ ‘To test the guessing abilities of our sub-
scribers, we have procured two setting hens of
the same weight and age, one black and the
other yellow, and placed them on nests con—
structed of the same material in the show-win-
dow of the Gimlet office. Under each hen we
placed thirteen eg 3, all procured from the same

asket at J. Smit ‘3 popular and well—managed
grocery-store (see ad. on third page), and the
person who sends the first correct guess as to the
actual number of chickens hatched out by each
hen will be awarded his or her choice of thehens
and her family, and will also receive the
IVeckly Gimlet free for one year, from any given
date. \
“ ‘ Guesses must be written on the coupon
printed at the head of this column and either
mailed or handed in addressed to the ‘ Hen Edi-
tor,’ Weekly Gimlet ofiice.’

“ The paper has only been out three days, but
you will be surprised, Noah, to hear that I have
already received two hundred and forty—eight
guesses on the egg-hatching problem.”

I was. I told Peters if that was the case the
people up in W estehester county couldn’t be very
busy just then.

“ H ain’t, eh? That is where you make a mis-
take. They’re busy enough, but when a prob-
lem like that is placed fore them with a
chance to secure a valuable newspaper free for
a year, with a hen and twelve or thirteen chick-
ens thrown in, there isn’t any one but that can

 

 

 

afford to stop work long enough to make a rough
guess at it.

“ No me talking, I made a hit on the hen busi-
ness. But just wait till I get fairly limbered up
after my trip to New York and I reckon things
will begin to hum up around Grabville.

“ You’d scarce] think it, perhaps, but I’ve
picked u more ideas in the journalistic line
down in ark Row and Broadway today than
the six-armed man in a dime-museum could
shake half a dozen sticks at. I may be a trifle
slow in some respects, but when it comes to run-
ning a newspaper in the latest-approved prize«
package style I don’t allow no one-horse nor
uvo—horse New York journal to get away with
me. Just wait and see if I do. Don’t fly off
the handle qr jump at conclusions; just wait;
that‘s all.”

And I am—l’m waiting with a vague yet live-
ly dread for the next issue of the Grabville Gina
let to appear on the horizon, and when it does
show up I’m going down-cellar and stay there
till Mrs. Nqu' changes the address on that
alleged newspaper and sends it on its devastat-
ing way to the janitor of the nearest lunatic
asylum.

If it has an
the last issue
ing to read it.

more metropolitan features than
don’t care to injure my mind try-

Yours decidedly, \
. OAH i'urr.

0h! To Be simmers Boy!

BY A. W. BELLAW.

OK, it’s sweet to live on a farm! I have al-
ways longed and Iongered to be a farmer’s boy—
I mean, a rich farmer’s son, and enjoy the glori-
ous, invigorating life in the country, and grow
up with the country produce.

But [wouldn’t want to make hay while the
sun shines. That’s a piece of foolishness. 1
would want to make hay when the sun was
down, or at least in the shade of trees, or if I
had an umbrella strapped on my back I wouldn't
mind the sun so much. I would not want to
comb the hay with a big comb fixed on a lon
handle, barefooted, as Miss Maud Muller did. I
don't think 1 would. I think she must have had
a calloused foot if it didn't mind the sharp
stubble. I haven’t got the hay fever that bad.
I would rake more hay out of my feet than I
would out of the field. The smell of the new-
mowu hay which you are lying on asleep is
sweet. A pile of hay is called a mow, and the
men who cut it are called mowers. Some far-
mers raise hay with a rope and pulley; that is
the cheapest way.

Many great men have been farmers. General
Putnam, when he heard of the news of the
battle of Lexington, left his plow standing in
the field without unhitching his oxen, and
rushed to join the army. 1 could do better
than he did; I could leave my plow stand in the
field a great many more times than he did—all
the time, for that matter, without hard work.
He got celebrated in history just for going off
and leaving his plow. So would .

Cinciniiatus was a son of a farmer in ancient
times, but he afterward moved out on the Ohio
River and devoted his attention to the raising
of hogs, and establishing, the city of Cincinnati,
where everybody now smokes cigars and hams.

George Washington was a farmer’s son, and
he grew out of it further than any other man in
this country. The razing of cherry trees was
his specialty.

Robert Burns was the Plowboy of Ayrshire,
and if there is anything to waken an ambition
in a boy for something or anything higher
it is holding a plow when a couple of strong
horses are pulling at it. From managing plow-
Ii'nes be naturally began to manage poetical
lines, and got to turning a line of poetry as
accurately as he did a row when he came to a
fence.

Alexander the Greatest was the son of a far-
mer, and learned to cut his way through the
world just as he did by cutting his way through
the weeds in the field when his father set him at
it under promise of a new suit of clothes and a
plug hat.

I often think that I was cut out to be a far-
mer, and for one who has been so little in the
country I think that I know a good deal of agri-
culture, and I should delight to live on a farm
as a farmer’s boy.

In the sweet springtime it would be glorious
to take the spade and go out early into the gar-
den and spade for fish-worms, I should pitch
into it so heartin that it would not be so very
long before I would have all of it spaded uprthat
is, if the fishing was good.

I know I should have a nice time when I
would hitch up the hissing scythe and drive it
through the clover-field, while sweet Maud Mul-
ler would follow right behind riding on a horse—
rake. And corned-beef! Only think, I would
have nothing to dobut to let the beef into the
corn-field and have her stay there until she was
well corned till she would be ripe enough to kill.
I am very fond of corn—beef, indeed.

There is nothing in the agricultural line more
to a boy’s taste than riding around on the horse-
powa‘ of a thrashing-machine. It expands the
muscles, in vigorates the constitution and creates
such an honest appetite: and then what is hoe-
ing '81] day in the wheatsfield to sucking cider
through a straw to a boy who has a large vest
on? -

The raising of cane was first begun by Adam
(I forget his other name), he used to raise Cain
several feet when he would raise his cane at
him. All this was in Canaan. Peeple who raise
cane are not canines. It is frequently found to
flourish in empty sugar hogsheads in front of
grocery-stores by small. boys. They raise a
good deal of cane in Old Kaintucky. Were I a.
farmer’s boy I would like to cultivate its ac-
quaintance, bore into it for molasses, and husk
the sugar out of its pods. I wouldn’t want any
sweeter employment than to work in a sugar-
cane brake until I got tired or full.

The finest work, however, on a farm to a
young farmer is the coming to town. I could
work hard at that. You see, I would shovel all
the eggs I could find under setting hens into a
bag, throw it across the horse and trot gayly off
to town, and exchange them for money, and
when I would go back the town would be pretty
well cleaned out of soda water, ginger-cakes,
lemonade and ice—cream; the profits of afarm
can always be profitably invested and made to
realize handsomely. In fact, one of the finest
products of the farm is money, if the farmer’s
boy can succeed in raising it.

What a very useful implement is the hoe, the
unpretentious little hoe on the end of a handle!
The blade of it shoots out from thehandle at
such an angle that there is not the least trouble
for a boy of ordinary muscle to hang it up on
the fence or anything else. Its hanging up
qualities are admirable; there is nothing like it
unless it may be the scythe. What a great in-
terest Could I take in sitting in the shade and
surveying the useful hoe hanging on the fence!

I know of nothing that will make a boy
stronger than carrying big watermelons. I
would enjoy workin in a melon orchard the
year round. I woul lant the melon trees that
biear every month, so could have them all the
t me.

I know I should like to work around a big
barn, turning somersets in the hay, playing hide
and seek, feeding straw to the pigs, turning the
wind-mill when there was nothing in it, inhal—
ing the contents of eggs, and thrashing pump-
kins; and I could make a hand riding on the
thrashing-machine as it goes through the wheat
orchard, thrashing out the wheat as it gees
along: and how delightful would it betotake
my ax on my shoulder and go out into the giant
woods, and spend the day laboriously and in-
dustriously chasing'rabbits from one brush-pile
to another.

What could be finer in country life than the
pleasant evocation of courting the net hbor’s
daughter if she is pretty and, well, ric ? In~
deed, it seems to me, agriculturally speaking,
that I would rather cultivate such count ro-
duce than a forty-acre field of corn. An t on
in the country the early birds wake you with

 

their first songs, and you immediately get up
higher on the pillow.

I know I would like to sit on the fence when
there was a good deal of Weeding to do. and
listen to the horses in the barnyard lowing, the
chickens quacking, the ducks chirping, the geese
crowing, the guinea hens mewnig, the cows
cackling, the calves bloating, the sheep cooing
and the pigs singing.

If I was a farmer boy I would plant all the
corn right in the combine so I would not have
to haul it there, shelled corn, at that, in the
Shell; but I wouldn’t raise any bran, for they
say they make brandy out of it; nor would I
raise any cobs which they make cobblers out of,
as I have read, but I would have peach-vines
and cherry-vines in plenty everywhere, and
walnut plants all o'ver, till you couldn’t sleep,
and if I was a rigid farmer’s son I would sprout
every tree and bush around the house, you
watch if Iwouldn’t. I would keep the useful
sheep, of! from which I would peel the cassimere
or cloth whenever I wanted a new suit of clothes,
besides, I would sow wheat, oats, barley, rye
flax, timothy. and corn all together in one fiel
so that from that field I could reapacrop of
each at once; and I have heard my father say
that a little brains mixed with grains is just the
thing to make farming successful.

d idshould like to be a well-off farmer’s son, in-
e .

Banlierimes.

N0, Esopus, it is not our duty to “ give opin-
ion and criticise,”so that you can know just
what your defects are. That is the schoolmas-
ter’s province, not the editor’s. Sabe?

TALLRYRAND once remarked that “the suc-
cessful liar must be an accomplished gentle-
man.” \Vhat would he have called the man
who stole another’s ideas and gained great re-
putation thereby?

A CLRRGYMAN called the other day just to re-
mark that the Weekly paper bad a great mis-
sion to perform, etc., etc. To which we re—
marked, in return, that it would bevery unjust
for the Weekly papers to steal his thunder.

WHAT queer ideas, indeed, some people have
as to the rights, duties and obligations of the
press; and what a queer press it woqu be if it
tried to conform to the judgment and taste of
advisers who do not have to foot the bills! The
publisher who runs his paper to suit the censors
soon has no paper to run.

To amuse, interest, entertain, is the province
of the story weekly—not to instruct, enlighten,
edify, nor even to run the gamut of the morali-
ties and virtues. The attempt to do all is like
working a‘ slender-limbed, graceful, intelligent
riding-horse in the plow or omnibus.

PERSONS who write for others to read should
ever hear in mind this one fact—that what is
commonplace, uneventful, unemotional, is un-
interesting, and therefore undesirable. What
bright readers want is what is bright, original,
new. The author is ho is incapable of original
thinking and conception should turn his or her
attention to some purely mechanical work or
calling.

OL‘R readers will greatly enjoy the new series
of Mulligan papers. The adventures of Mr. and
Mistress Mulligan have given readers manya
laugh. Now that the travelers are “ On the
Home Stretch” it is evident the tower is going
to result in a new series of mishaps and adven-
tures only heightened in efiect by the couple’s
hitherto experiments in “ saying the worruld
wid an intint to injoyment, be jabers.”

THE name of the Postmaster-General of Siam
is Lomdetch Phra Nong Fa Babaumangsi Swan-
guvusga Kooma Araph Bhaunbhaddaroogasee
Vavadt-y. The name of our P. M.—General is
John. If the nomen length typifies the compara-
tive greatnessof the man, John must be a very
little fellow indeed, but he answers the purpose
of a P. M.-General quite satisfactorily in this
country of modest dimensions.

YOU must no longer say Ingland and Inglish.
The authority of the dictionaries has been
superseded by fashionable London, which says
Eng-land, En —lish. But be not deceived by
the spelling. he initial letter must not have
too great emphasis, nor is the g carried over to
the next syllable. Pronounce the first syllable
like the Siamese twin’s name—Eng—and then
join on the second syllable without carrying
over the sound. Eng-land, Eng—lish. Practice
these two words until they fall trippineg from
the tongue, and you will have acquired the latest
London touch.

Wine of the Wits.

SAVED FROM PERIL.

“ WHAT is the matter, Missis Golden?
look like you had'seen a ghost!”

“Ah, Mrs. Cavenhaven, I was nearly killed
just nOW.”

“ How did it happen, Mrs. Golden!”

“ Missis Fleury, who lived in Number Twinty-
sivin has been run over by an electric~car. I
livenin Number Twiuty-six; suppose it had been
me?

You

YANKEE MEDICINE.

FIRST For:er ENGLISBMAN—“ Did you get
any benefit from that Yankee remedy you took
to reduce your weight?" ‘

Second Portly Englishman—~“ I lost fifty
pounds by it.”

First Portly Englishman—“And how much
did you have to pay for the secret?”

Second Port] y Englishman—“ Fifty pounds, I
find you. It was a dead loss.”-—Pharmaceutical

ra.

A STRING TO 11'.

an1—“ Shakey, hat you solt anyt’ing since I
vas out?”

J akey-—-“ I solt ein suit of clo’s to a shentle-
mans who couldn’t pay but six tollars for dem.
T’e price vas six-fifty. He haf promise to come
in tomorrow an’ pay t’e rest.” '

Levi—“ Yell, he nefer comes back.”

Jakey —— “ He comes back. To pants I
wrapped up was two sizes too small for him.”~
Brooklyn Life.

TWO WAYS TO WIN.

MESSENGER BOY (to comrade) —“ Say, the
woman where I took a letter gimme a quar-
ter.

“ What for doin’?"

“ Nothin’. She sed I was ‘ a little gentleman’
for keepiu‘ my cap off in her house.”

“ Gee-Whitaker! five nickels for that!”

“Yes; but I didn’t tell her the follow that
sent the letter gimme a quarter to keep my cap
off so’s none of ’em in the house could spot my
number.”——N. Y. Tribune.

FORGETFULNESS.

» SHE (shortly after the blissful silence that the
delicious afiirmative brought about)——“ Darling,
now that we are engaged, I have the right to
ask you a question, have I not?”

He—“ Most certainly."

She—“ And you will answer truthfully?”

He——“ Of course.”

She—“ What is that string tied around your
finger for. then?”

Heh“Great heavens! To remind me that I
am already engaged l”—Portland Telegram.

HANDSOME IS AS BANDSOME DOES.

TB]: lady was talking to an old friend about
thb marriage of her daughter to a Wealthy
man.

\“I understand,” said the old friend, “that
Madge has married very well.”

“ Oh, yes "replied the gratified mother, “ very
well, im .” .

“But he had such a peculiar name: Frihzle-
wiggée, wasn’t it!”

. “ That’s perfectly horrid, don’t you think i”

" Well,” hesitated the mother, “ it doesn’t
sound very melodious bly, but it’s rfect-
ly beautiful on a check.”—Detroit Free ess.

\

 

Correspondents’ Column.‘

[This column is open to all correspondents.
Inquiries answered as fully and as promptly as
circumstances will permit. Contributions not
entered as “declined ” may be considered ac-
cepted. No MSS. returned unless stamps are
inclosed.]

Declined: ” Essays and Poems,” by M. M. W.;
“The German’s Catastrophe;” “A Tail of a
Tale;” “ Honora’s Patent Heaven :” “The Be-
clhse of Jim-Jam ;” “ A Cut—a-way Castle ;” “ Pat
Macgrohart ’s Banshee;" “ A Due! on the
Fenceg" “T e Elk-bull‘s Victoryfi” “Kickapoo
versus Ara hoe:" “The Tent in, the Sky;”
“Josie’s Ju ilee;” “ The King of the Cupid
Islands ;” “ Gentleman Joe’s Uther;” ” A Surgi-
cal Experiment ;” ” What the Bearskin Cost :”
“Peter’s Pence,” etc; “Mollie Mix’s Horse :”
“ A Fable.” ‘

LETTER to “ Ruth Raymond " returned as un-
claimed. Authors shou (1 always give their real
names for address.

Parties remitting manuscript but inclosing no
stamps for return must not expect that return.
This rule is without exception.

We may also repeat—persons writin on
their Own affairs must inclose stamp for rep y, or
no answer. To do a favor and pay for the privi-
lege is not good business ethics.

Tnssls. No record of such a manuscript, in
December.

W. W. E. You do not mention the age of the
lady. That is all-essential.

ROSCOE. A verbal promise is a “contract”
if made in hearing of a third party, as witness.

ANDRID.
the Federal service are held in the Post-office
building on May 4 and 5.

TWENTY-FIVE. If the injury was sustained
by reason of others’ neglect, you have “just
cause” for demand for damages.

HELEN W. P. We know nothing of the firm

named. Do not come to the city on its promise.

until after ample evidence that all is as repre-
sented.

NAsnAPo'ric. It is only a theory or surmise
as to the origin of the American Indian; nor is
there any evidence that he came from the Old
Wor'd. ,

W. W. S. The President of Chili is Jorge
Montt.——If the Prince of Wales died, and Prince
George of Wales died, the Duchess of Fife would
stand next to the throne. - _

ORCHARD Sr. Patrolmen on the police force
are promoted to be rouudsmen by the Police
Commissioners. They receive the same pay as
the highest grade of patrolmen.

THIRD STORY. A man may declare his inten-
tion of becoming a citizen the instant he lands
here if he wishes to; but he cannot become\a
citizen, under the law, until he’s been here five
years. , .

FRIEND—“ The gossips have formulated a re-
gular indictment against your character. They
say you were a terrible flirt while abroad. Do
you plead guilty?” American Gii'l—“Y-e-s; to
three counts.”

WARWICK. Greenwich is within the metro-
politan district of London. Paris time is 9
minutes 18 seconds later than London time.
Therefore at 12 A. M. Monday at Greenwich it
would be 12:09:18 MM. Monday at Paris.

LIZZIE A. The joint in the opium joint is
simply the Spanish and Portuguese junta, a col-
lection of persons. hence a place where persons
collect, corrupted by sailors’ tongues into joint;
so the Portuguese Dies, God, becomes joss, and
we have joss house, a Chinese temple.

HENRY M. Coin dealers pay a premium of 25
cents for silver dollars of 1801 in good condition.
This means that they afterward sell them to
collectors for from $2 to $3 each. If you can find
a collector who has not a copy of your $1 in his
collection, you will probably get a better price
from him than from a‘ dealer.

RACHEL. “'e repeat, to correct absurd error'

as given in last week’s issuez—The quotation,
" The mind’s the standard of the man,” is from
Isaac Watts’s hymn, “ False Greatness,” given
in his “ Horas Lyricae.” “ I must be measured
by my soul” is in the same hymn. The error
would have made Isaac (h ink cuss-words.

DAYTON READER. We don’t know the origin
of the name growler, used in the now accepted
sense; it must have had some ‘reason, but it
probably was a poor one. As to hit the pipe:
this expression is referred to “slang” in the
Century dictionary; perhaps hit means “to
meet with,” [a not unusual meaning of the word.

JACOB B. Your priest cannot “command”
you to fast. By a dispensation, granted to the
bishops of America, the eatinggiuring Lent, of
butter, eggs, cheese, and all “white meats” is
allowed to Roman Catholics at two meals a da
—dinner and at evening collation. Simply tel
the too oflicious man to mind his own business
and not yours.

Oeosox. Though the best time for outdoor
athletic training is during daylight,still we do not
think it would hurt you to run at night, provided
proper care is taken. Be careful not to overtrain
yourself. Do not run within an hour after sup-
per. For rubbing down, every athlete has his
own pet preparation. Whisky and lemon-juice
is as good as anything.

OBEDIX R. Under the Constitution of the
United States (Art. 11., Sec. 2) the President
has “ powor to grant reprieves and pardons for
crimes against the United States, except in
cases of impeachment;” but he has no pawer to
grant pardons for offenses against State laws.
In this State the last appeal for a convicted
murderer would be to the Governor.

MRS. A. A. D. Replying to letters of condo-
lence, or to resolutions of condolence, it is cus-
tomary for persons to do as they please, oras
they find opportunity, but it is not obligatory
upon them to make any response—It has not
been customary to serve dinner on uncovered
tables. Even when the polished table is used
SLhigh teas, lunches, etc., the dishes rest on

oilies.

L. It is not only proper to offer explanations
to avert any misapprehensions, but it is quite
the thing to do. If, to maintain the confidence
and esteem of the party, it is necessary to
“ make advances," why, make them, of course.
The idea that it “puts you in the light of curry-
ing a favor” is absurd. Friends you value are
not to be tosscd aside without an effort to main-
tain your hold on them.

WARSAW READER. The Red River rises in
New Mexico, about lat. 35: N., Ion. 103° 10' W.
It flows in a general easterly direction, from the
southern boundary of the Indian Territory, and
empties into the Mississippi about lat. 31° N. It
is about 1,600 miles in length. The Red River
of the North rises in Minnesota, and flews gener-
ally northward into Lake Winnipeg, Manitoba.
It is about 650 miles long.

BARivRs’s MAN. The temperature used in in-
cubators for the hatchin of chickens varies
from 98 to 103 degrees. eat is not the only
essential, however, as moisture, ventilation and
other things have to be carefully looked after to
secure successful artificial incu bullion—We have
not yet seen returns by the census of 1890 as to
the proportion of the sexes in the population of
the United States. By the census of 1889 the
total male pepulation of the country was 25,518,-
820. and the total female 24,636,963.

Two SCHOLARS. The terms, “quarto,” “ duo-
decimo,” etc., indicate the number of times a
sheet of paper is folded. Thus a folio is a sheet
folded once, giving four get; a quarto is a
sheet folded twice, and ves eight pages; an
octave is a sheet folded e‘lghtxtimes, with sixteen
pages, etc. The terms, of, course, indicate also
the number of pages printed at one time. As
the sheet of ‘ may be of any size, the terms
no longer in cate the size of the bed]: with any

exactness. sowe have“imperial 8voe,”"royal ‘ v '

8vos,” “ elephant folios,” and other silos. ‘

 

 

 

The Civil Service examinations for '

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