l l a i i l pl'n (Cl ’ l The Banner Weekly. 3 NEW YORK, APRIL ‘38, 1894». THE BANNER WEEer is sold by all Newsdealers in the United States and in the Canadian Dominion. Parties unable to obtain it from a Newsdealer, or those preferring to have the paper sent direct, by mail. from the publication office, are supplied at the following rates: Terms to Subscribers. Postage Prepaid: One copy, four months . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31.00 “ “ one year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 3.00 Two copies, one year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5. In all orders for subscriptions be careful to give address in full, State.County andTown. The aper is always stopped, promptly, at expiration 0 sub- scription. Subscriptions can start with any late number. TAKE NOTICE. In sending money for subscri tion remit by Am. Express Money Order. Draft, . 0. Order, or Registered Letter, these being the best ' forms of remittance. Losses will almost surely be avoided if these directions are followed. Foreign subscriptions may be sent to our European agents, the INTERNATIONAL NEws COMPANY ll Bou- verie street (Fleet street), London. England Wall communications, subscri tious, and let- ters on business should be addresse to BEADLE AND ADAMS. PUBLIsRERs. 98 WILLIAE Sr. NEw YORK. W New readers will please notify their news- dealer of their purpose to lake THE BANNER WEEK L Y regularly, so as to be sure of secur- ing it. Back numbers always on hand. w The stories appearing in THE BANNER WEEKL Ycan not be had in Library form. Starts in Number 600! Herold Payne’s New Story 01“ THE New York [inld Brick Sharps! “ WELL, sir,” observed Detective Thad Burr, when the caged crook had concluded his story, “ I must congratulate you on one thing, aside from your cunning art in disguises, and that is in being the most heartless wretch I have ever encountered in all my experience as a de- tective.” This man was the scion Of a noble family in England, yet here was chief of a gang of swin- dlcrs, whose remarkable cunning and efi‘rontery almost bid defiance to courts, police and victims. Their scheme of a $200,000 Gold Brick Lift was so daring that Inspector Williams put the never—baffled detective, Thad Burr, on the case, and out of this tireless trailer’s work came such a maze of intrigue, double personation, adven- ture and close-quarters peril that the story of it is indeed exciting reading. But, more than that, it reveals How Some Big Fortunes are Made by apparently reputable citizens yet who, in reality, are in league with rogues so as to ren- der their roguery a success beyond discovery. This cultured crook has, in his cultured wife, a remarkable aide, who, pitting her wit against that of the dauntless detective, gives a nOvel element of excitement to a story, which readers will find is, in truth, of Absorbing, Enticing, Inspiriting Interest! Made Himself at Home. BUT THE JANITOR. OBJECTED. BY WILL S. GIDLEY. THERE is a free reading-room in Jersey City, with the sign “ STRANGERS WELCOME "occupy- ing a conspicuous position over the door. This notice is duplicated on the walls inside, and right below it is a cordial invitation (also neatly framed) to “ MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.” A tramp—one of these free—and-easy old chaps, who take things for granted, and also anything else they can get hold of~came drift- ing along on the lookout for some cozy corner in which to camp out for the afternoon, and after inspecting the signs both outside and inside of the entrance and sort of looking over the lay of the land, as it were, he concluded that it- would be a good plan to accept the invitation and make himself at home, and he accordingly proceeded to do so. G {thering in the latest copies of Puck and Judge and three or four of the morning papers, l be stacked them up in front of him on one of the reading—tables, spread himself out in the most commodious arm-chair the place afi‘orded, and began leisurely exploring the news and nonsense of the day. He had got hold of a fresh chew of tobacco somewhere, and as he glanced over first one paper and then another, leaning back meantime with the air of a duke or a millionaire, or some other stuck-up and consequential customer :Of that kind, he kept working his jaws (the only style of work that a tramp never objects to) and ever and anon or thereabouts ejecting a mouth- ful, or say half a pint, of tobacco-juice over his right or left shoulder, whichever happened to come the handiest. Things had gone on in this decidedly off-hand, hitor—miss way for about three-quarters of an hour, and the patrons of the establishment who chanced to be in the vicinity of the “ monarch of all be surveyed,” were beginning to think of nailing down the batches and running up a sig- nal of distress, when the janitor in charge of the rooms came along and said: “See here, my friend, do you see that sign over there on the wall?” The tramp looked up, emptied his mouth once more and calmly replied: “ Yessir, not being blind I reckon I do.” “Oh, you do, eh? And I presume you con- sider yourself a gentleman, too, don’t you?” “Well, I reckon I ain’t anything else,”'airily responded the tramp, at the same time sending another consignment of tobacco- juice flying across the room. The janitor dodged out of range, in time to avoid being drowned, and exclaimed: “ Now, see here, old fellow, don’t you spit on that fimr again.” “ IVhy not!” demanded the tramp. “ Your old bill-board up there says ‘ Strangers we]- come ’ and right under it ‘ Make yourself at homg,’ and that is jest what I’m doing, thank you. , “ I see you are, but I want you to under- stand that you can’t make yourself at home in that kind of style around here—not as long as I am janitor of the premises, anyhow. There is feet southeast of the other two you’ve been chirping about, you Will notice, reading ‘Gen- tlemen “7 ill Please Refrain From Spitting on the Floor;’ and all I’ve got to say to you is,1f you’re a gentleman you’ll stop, and if you ain’t, out you go!” The trump straightened up and glared around him. “Eh? I heard you correctly, did I? Got to stop spitting on the floor or get out, have I?" he demanded, anxiously. “ Yes, sir, that is exactly what I intimated,” said the janitor. “ Well, don’t get sweaty or excited over it. I’m going right away quick. But before I start I want to say that I consider this a party low- down sort of game to play on a tailor, to coax him into a joint of this kind, with your old sign- boards, ‘ Welcome strangers,’ ‘ Make yourself at home,’ and all that sort of palaver, and then as soon as he accepts the invitation and sets down and begins to enjoy himself and act jest as he would at home, in case he had one, fly at him and begin to howl and make a fuss about spitting a little tobacco-juice on the floor. Yes- sir, I’ve run up against some purty tolerably low-down games in my time, but this is about the worst I’ve struck yet. Nice sort of way to welcome a feller and make him feel at home, I must say, request him nor; to expectorate on the floor when he is chewing tobacco. Maybe you expect me to take off my boot and spit in it or get up off the small of my back and hunt up a spittoon every time I want to empty my mouth, but if so you are expecting it of the erng cus- tomer, and I reckon we’d better part right where we are. Good-day, sirl" And His Trampship erected himself and stalked dignifiedly forth into the busy streets of the Jersey metropolis. Happy-En-lucky Papers. Boggles and the Bridal Couple. ONE CAR TOO SMA’LL TO HOLD THEM BOTH. “ Maybe I’m getting old, and played out, and cranky, and behind the times, and maybe I’m too much of an old fossil to sympathize with a' couple of fools in love with each other’s shad- ders: and then again, maybe I ain’t. “ Maybe I used to be that way myself, running around loose in public and cutting up like a h ime- sick calf that has been accidentally separated from its mother; and then again, maybe I didn’t. “ Maybe I ought to go off somewhere, and break into the idjit asylum and stay there till I get over what ails me; and then again, maybe I’d better stay where I am and let the other fel- ler do the breaking in— Eh? Noah, how does it strike you i” . Boggles rattled off the above string of United States dialect. without pausing to take breath or put in a single punctuation point (thought I’d work in a few, however, on my own account, just for the looks of the thing) upon the occasion of his latest call at my literary sanctum and sawmill, the other evening, and after he got through he dropped into a convenient chair, sighed several threecornered sighs. and then looked at me as much as to say: “ Now, Noah, just brace up and say something encouraging if you can, and if you can’t, why say something, anyway, just for the sake of argument.” And I did. 1 braced up and said something. Said I: “ Boggles, what in the name of Mephistopheles and the great horn spoon are you driving at, anyhow? Haven’t been vaccinated for lunacy lately and had it strike in, have you?” “ Not that anybody is aware of, I haven’t,” announced Boggles, with a busine5s~like snap to his jaws. “But if people ever get vaccinated for common-Sense I know a couple that ought to call on the doctor and have the matter attended to right away. Don’t know young Plunkers— George W. Plunkers—up in Goatville—on-the- Heights, do you!” “ No,” said I. “ W hat’s he done?” “ Been getting married, and of all the soft- shelled, half-baked, love-sick couples I ever met anywhere he and the girl he has hooked onto for better or worse (though I’ll bet two cents it’ll turn out to be the latter before they get through with each other) capture not only the bun but the whole bakery. “ They got on the train at Utica—don’t know whether he found her in the asylum or some- where outside, but, anyhow, there’s where they got on—and took the seat just ahead of me (I was on my way home from my latest lecture tour and wasn’t feeling any too brisk, either, after what I’d been through) and, as soon as the train started and they got settled down, the cir- cus, or side—show, or whatever one might call it, opened its doors ready for business, with me oc- cupying a front pew, where I couldn’t very well get away, seeing there was no other vacant seats in the car, nor help hearing and seeing what was going on, unless I shut my eyes and tied my ears behind me, or somehow that way; and this is the way the performance started off : “ Says she: “ ‘ You didn’t forget to shake all the rice off your hat and coat before we got on the train, did you, George?’ ' “ Says he: “ ‘ No, lovey.’ “ ‘ And you’re sure they didn’t tie any white ribbons or an Old shoe to—to our trunk, are you, George, dear?” “ ‘ Yes, lovey.’ “ ‘ Oh, l’m so glad! But you’re sure now there were none, are you, George?” “ ‘ Yes, lovey; I looked, and if there was any- thing of that kind I would have saw it.’ “ ‘ Oh, I’m so glad! It would be too mean for anything—teeheel—to have anything of that kind happen on our-our bridal trip, wouldn’t it, George?’ “ ‘ Yes, lovey; but you needn’t worry. I have saw the trunk since it got to the train and every- thing is all right.’ “ ‘ Oh, I’m so glad! And my sachel is aboard all right, too, I suppose!’ u c 88’ lovey-1 “ ‘ You’ve got the checks for both of them in your pocket, have you, George?’ “ ‘ Yes, lovey.’ “ ‘ Are you sure, George?’ “ ‘ Yes, lovey. Here they are.’ “ ‘ Oh, I’m so glad! I was afraid in the excite- ment of getting the train you might have drop- ped them or something. We often hear of such strange mishaps happening to—to young people on their wedding trip, don’t we, George?’ “ ‘ Yes, lovey. I read once of a young couple who got separated in taking the train, and the bride was carried off in one direction, on one train, and the bridegroom was carried off in the opposite direction on another train.’ “ ‘ Oh, I’m so glad—I mean, oh, how dreadful! I don’t know what in the world I should do, George, if we should get Separated in that way. But we’ll hang right onto each other and we won’t get separated, will we, George?’ “ ‘ No, lovey.’ “ ‘ Oh, I’m so gladl’ “ ‘ Are you, lovey?’ “ ‘ Yes, George.’ “ ‘ So am I, lovey.’ “ And I hope to never eat another flapjack, with maple syrup on it, again as long as 1 live, if he didn’t grab hold of both her hands with one of his, and pull her over against him, with her head resting on his left shoulder (where she seemed perfectly willing to let it rest, I noticed), and sort of snuggle her up against him with the other arm around her waist: and then he looked into her eyes with the yearning look of a six- weeks~old calf in search of its maternal ancestor, as I believe I mentioned previously beforehand a few minutes ago, if I remember right; and then be bent d0wn and glued his lips to hern, right there before everybody, as bold as a sheep, and the next thing I heard was a sound like a cow pulling her foot out of the mud several suc- cessive times or ofteuer: and for the next fifty miles, or say an hour and a half, I sat there and another sign hanging on the wall, about nine seventeen thousand pigs’ feet, pickled, began stamping over me as if it was a vast drove of ting his best foot foremost. ten over that sort of thing years ago and never had it very hard, anyway, while every few sec- onds there would come floating up over the back of the seat occuuied by the bride pair the half- smothered assertion, ‘ 0h, l’m so glad, George,’ followed by the remark, ‘ Yes, lovey, so am l,’ and the sound of the female bovine extricating her hoof from the mud once more—or rather several times more. “ I stood it as long as I could, and then I leaned forward and tapped the blissfully un- conscious bridegroom on the shoulder (the one that wasn’t busy holding her head) and said: “ ‘ See here, young man, I’ve got one hun- dred and twenty miles yet to travel, and as I’m getting a trifle seasick 1 wish you’d postpone the rest of that “ George ” and “ lovey ” busi- ness until you reach your hotel to-night. I’ll go through the train and get you a vote of thanks if you will.’ “ Well, sir, I never saw a man flare up over a little thing the way he did over that. He jumped up and said I was no gentleman, and I had grossly insulted him, and all that kind Of talk, and he wound up by shoving a card into my hand (that’s how I found out it was young Plunkers) and saying he would be pleased to meet me at any time and place I mentioned, and With any weapons 1 saw fit to choose. “ The duel hasn’t come off yet,’ concluded Boggles. with a grim smile, “ but when it does, it will be with putty-blowers at fifteen paces, and if I don’t blow his brains out at the first fire, it won’t be the fault of the putty, but because I can’t blow hard enough. That’s all.” And Bogglcs arose and went forth to purchase a putty-blower and prepare for the awful con- flict. NOAH NUFF. LATER. I have just received a note from Boggles reading: “Forgot to mention last night that after I spoke to Plunkers he and Mrs. P. occupied a seat in an adjoining car the rest of the way to New York. Didn’t know there was a vacant seat in the next car or I would have hunted it up myself on the start and avoided all the trou— ble. However, I have armed myself, and if it comes to a fight I shall expect you to ofiiciate as my second on the gorestrewn field of honor and roll the putty-balls while 1 socket them, as Hor- ace Greeley would remark in his classical yet vigorous Daily Tribune Latin. ' " BOGGLEs.” — Bannereites. A DELAWARE correspondent writes to correct our answer to Geo. N. G., in No. 594, wherein we:soid that the pillory punishment in that State had fallen into disuse, though the whipping-post was retained. His correction is to the efi’ect that both pillory and whipping-post are in constant use, and that the pillory exposure from one to three hours is commonly followed by the whip- ping—a double punishment. The writer ex- plains: “Those sentenced to the pillory are almost invariably the worst cases, and are generally sentenced to twenty or forty lashes uith the oath-’ninemils—a whip (that the sheriff uses) with a handle eighteen inches long, and nine law-hide lashes of about the same length. The prisoner is lashed to the post, his hands as high as his head, and the ‘ cat’ brought down on his bare back by the sheriff. while a turnkey counts aloud the strokes.” To all of vention of Cruelty to Animals” has a field in little Delaware for a lively campaign. THE little lesfiet‘ called Our Language is still engaged in promoting the reform of spelling. lts scheme of a “digref alfabet” is very well illustrated in the following extract: “Bai a, fonetik alfaabet a chaild mei bii tost dhi aart ov riiding—not fluuentli, but Wei—booth in fonetick and in oardineiri bucks, in thrii munths, ai oftn' in twenti aurz ov thurOe instrukshun—a taask bwich iz raerli akomplisht in thrii yiirz ov toil bai dhe oeld alfaabet. Hwot faadhuar'oar tiichuer wil not gladli heil and-uaruestli wuark foar dhis greit buun tuo edyuukeishuu—dhis psurfuol maashiin four dhi difiuzhun ov nolejl Dhis paraagraf konteinz oal dhi saundz in dhi Ingglish langgueij.” All of which is inferior to Josh Billings. Josh had no “ system ” of spelling -—he simply spelled the word as it was actually pronounced. , THE London Spectator assumes that “ Ameri- can men aud women are far too easily amused, and indulge in su rficial mirth at quips and cranks of the feeb est kind, which at best only cause a thin cackle of jaws prepared to giggle, and not the hearty laugh of true delight. ’ The “hearty laugh of true delight” comes to the Englishman with every quart of beer and every bottle of port—with every knock-down in the prize-ring and every victory at a horse-race. As to the unctuous in humor he cawn’t see it, you know; darky dialect and odd caprice, to the Briton, are incomprehensible; out West tough yarns and lies are, to him, sure signs of a demoralized human nature; and when we tell the Spectator that a spec tatur is a bad tatur the editor lifts his,eye-glass and walks away, saying—“ Be J awve, the fellow is demented.” WHAT will the Spectator man say of the Haw- kinsville, Ga., Dispatch, whose editor recently published the following notice: “We have a good, gentle, family horse that we are anxious to exchange for a good ‘ possum ’ dog or a rea- sonable amount of fish~bait. There is positively nothing wrong with the horse but his voracious appetite. We have had him with us now about two weeks, and he has eaten up three loads of cypress shingles, two lot gates, licked the bottom out of a cast-iron sugar-kettle, and commenced on the gable end of our residence, and the fact is that we have just got to swap. Sell or kill, or be without a house or home.” The Briton will simply remark: “ The blawsted idiot! Does he reallg’ suppose anybody wants such a horse as that * ' letter-pad Papers. A Late Supper. WE had a supper at the club-rooms last night, it being an anniversary occasion. called the Last Man Club: the last member who survives is to pay the debts of the balance. People who think we are a little slow at present can see the reason why, and we hope they will be patient. The supper was gotten up in good style, and gotten down in better. I never ate so much in my life, and nearly made a complete wreck of my appetite, which I have taken the utmost pains to preserve. This appetite had .the capacity of a steam bologna- machine under high pressure. After supper I Wasn’t hungry a bit, and thought I wouldn’t want anything to eat for a year or two, and calculated I would save some bun ’reds of dollars by it. But, somehow or other. every claml had eaten got its shells on after I got to sleep, and then I imagined I had been drowned in an oyster-bed. and had to fight terribly to keep the oysters away that were.trying to pinch me to death with their shells, and drive me out of their dominions as an invader. Oh. shells of ocean! Then I thought [was a flounder, and floun- dered around so much that I floundered out on the flow, and woke up and wvnt and lmked in the looking glaseto see if I was myself. Feel- ing convinced that I was—what was left of me— I went to bed again, and was soon in the arms of Morpheus, who was no more than a roast—pig, with more arms than I had the conscience to count. Then I thought I was a huge apple-dumpling rolling down a hill with a stump in the way, against which I rolled and was Smashed an to pieces, and here I rolled over, and immediately hogs on their way to market, and every hog put- which we suggest that the “ Society for the Pre— ' Our club consists Of forty members, and is “ andI immediately subsided into a frog, doing my lev»! best to get away from a gang of boys who were pelting me with stones, and one arm:- ing me on the back—it was my wife trying to pound life into me, but pounding it out—turned me intoa beefsteak which the cruel cook put into a frying~pan, red-hot, and I began to kick and squirm us if willing to jump out of that frying-pan into the fire. Just as the cook was about to say I was done, and I was glad of it, I imagined myself to be a huge turnip in a wide field, and that somebody was trying to pull me up by the top, and, waking, I found my wife jerking me by the hair with an affection that seemed as if it would scalp me in no time multi- plied by suddenly. Then I relapsed again and set sail in a frail bark made of very short pie-crust, on an ocean of turtle-soup: the waves broke over me as I paddled along with a tablespoon, and threatened every moment to ingulf me. Giant turtles swam close to me and endeavored to snap me up, boat and all, and I had nothing to defend m) self with but a second-hand toothpick, and at last, with a terrible crash, my bark struck upon a reef of corn-bread, and went to pieces, and I waked up to find myself out on the floor, feeling quite glad to think I was still safe and alive in this world, although with not appetite enough to board at one of our common boarding- houses. I got rid of my wakefulness by going to sleep again after much trouble, and reamed that was a goose. I think it was a on account of the half of a goose that I ate; I didn’t eat a whole one, and don’t see why I dreamed I was a whole goose; but there are things which we cannot wholly account for, wise as we may seem. As a. goose I wasn’t much of a success, be- cause I hsd my head wrung on quick notice, and was sorry that that wasn’t the end of me, very sorry; for I straightway thought lwas a huge egg, getting dreadfully beaten and no chance for my life. I thought I had my neck dread~ fully olked. I imagined I was dreadfully dead ear, but came to life, fortunately, to find my wife beating me over the head with a pillow, and I in the last stages of being brained. .I think I shall never eat any more buckwheat cakes, for when I got to sleep again I had the largest cake to eat that ever was baked, and waif: again to find I was trying to eat up a qu . It isn’t the most agreeable thing to dream you are trying to get away from a codfish-ball near- ly the size of the moon, and making for you with unpleasant rapidity. Not hardly. Nor, is it pleasant to imagine you are a cabbage‘head in constant dread of a guillotine in the shape of an enlarged kraut-cutter; it is not a very pleasant reminiscence. When I thought I had departed this life of victuals and turned into'a sheep to eat grass, I felt so sheepy that I immediately Woke up and got up and stayed up the rest of the night. ' 1am not very hungry today. I feel a little tired of victuals, as it were. PRESERVED Porrs, P. H. D. Wine (Lille Wits. Nor TAKING TRIELES. HIGHWAYMAN—“ Yer money or your life!” Traveler—"l haven’t any money. But you can take my life if you want to. I’m tired of living.” _. Highwayman (putting up his piston-“No, thanks. It isn’t worth while.” . ‘ WAS AWARE OF IT. “ REMEMBER, witness,” sharply exclaimed the a torney for the defense, “ you are on oath!” ‘ “ There ain’t no danger of my ‘43] replied the witness, sullenly. “ , truth fur nothiu’, when I could have made 4“ by lyin’ fur your side of the case, an’ you know it.”-—Ohicago Tribune. A NARROW ESCAPE. “I HAD a narrow escape yesterday,” said Riggins. “ Is that so!” rejoined Ruggins, with in. st. \ “ Yes; I was nearly choked to death." “ Highwaymen!” “ No. Flannel shirt. I wore it out in the rain.”- Washington Star. 'roo REALIerc. PIDDICOKBEP“ Have you read Dilletant’s story?’ Sinnick—“ Yes. It is intensely realistic—I seldom read anything that gives one a better idea of modern society.” Piddicombe—“ You surprise me—I found it unutterably dull and stupid.” Sinnick—“ So did I.”—- Truth, TO BE IN THE FASHION. “Now that we are in a position to enter so- ciety, Edmund,” said Mme. N ewriche, " I want you to do me a favor.” “ What is it, Maria i" queried Mr. Newriche. “ Isn’t your new carriage good enough?" "That’s all right, dear," replied Mme. New- riche.: “But I do Wish you’d get one of those receivers that so many men are having now.”-—- Chicago Record. ON HIS MIND. BLAGGINS is one of the men who speak disre- spectfull y of eminent people. A great pianist waskpointed out to him recently, with the re— mar : “ Do you’note the weary expression on his face? He seems to have a great deal on his mind, doesn’t he?” . “A great deal on his mind?” repeated Bing-l gins scornfully; “ oh, yes, you mean hair.” DEMAND AND SUPPLY. h_THE star boarder shoved the eggs away from 1m. “ What’s the matter?” inquired the landlady. “ I don’t like these eggs,” he replied. “ What’s wmng with them? Eggs are scarce ‘n0w and cost a great deal of money.” “I don’t doubt it.”he ventured. “ I notice that the fashion in antiques has increased the price quite beyond reason.”- Detroit Free Press. MAUD AND MAMIE. “0H, say, Mamie.” exclaimed Maud, “you just ought to see Harry since he joined the National Guard. He [Ooks perfectly lovely.” “ He must i” rejoined Mamie, rapturously. “ I do So hope there won’t be any war!” “It would be dreadful if Harry were to get killed.” “ I wasn’t thinking of that. Lots of people goto war without getting killed. But he’d be just. certain to spoil his clothes.” WHY HE WAS A CHICKEN. EIGHT little negro bovs got on a Niagara street var at the corner of Vermont street about 7:30 o‘clock last night. They had been out to St. Mary’s to rehearse something or other (they were choir have) and they were then on their way to St. Paul's. The women in the car talked to them and asked them all sorts of questions. They all talked willinglv. except one little fel— low, who was as black as coal. and who seemed to be the butt of the other seven. “ So you all smg i" asked one of the women. 6 “ Yep,” answer ed three of the boys at the same Ime. “ Then you are regular little blackbirde?” “ Oh. no, ma’am. Blackhirds don’t do nothin’ but chirp. I’m a canarv.” “ An’ I‘m a mockin’-birri,” said another, and each boy told what kind of a bird hé was, until the eighth one, the butt before mentioned, was the only one who had said nothing. “ And what kind of a bird are you, my little fellow?” asked the woman. “ ’Deed. mu’am,” he answered, “ I ’spec‘s I mus’ be a chic-ken. I gets it in the neck so suffered, as only a man can suffer who has got- My wife gave me a sound shaking by the ears, 1 Corresponuems‘ Column. [This column In open to all correspondents. Inquiries answered as fully and as promptly as circumstances will permit. Contributions not entered as “declined” may be considered ac- cepted. No MSS. returned unless stamps are inclosed.l Declined: “A Very Correct Error;” “The New Church Cnoir;” ” Gypsy John;” “After the Cyclone ;" “ Doctor Hopper’s Night-Callerg” “ A Railway Choke ;” “ The ‘ Institoot’ at Oak- spire;” “Anything for the Renegade;” “The Steam Eagle ;” “ Old Whack-‘em Up ;” “ \Vhat the Footprint Revealed;” “The Woman with Three Lives;” “A Test of Courage;" "Up Is Down;” “ The Case of Sergeant Cranston;” “ A Whipping-Post Reminiscence ;” “ The New Herd- er's Story:” “Dick Richards’s Specter-Pard;" “ Laid Up For Repairs.” DECEM. April 20th, 18.53, was Wednesday. KING. A triumvirate—three rulers or pow- ers. ROXY. Answered very fully in last week’s issue. EL CID. A ballad is—a ballad; a story or in- cident told in vem. CHARLEY P. Tweed died in Ludlow Street Jail, April 12th, 1878. L. A. J. “ Hoist by his own petard;” not hoisted. See Hamlet, not 111., scene 4. ' ROSEMARY. Being of age you can act for yourself. Better, however, defer to your fa- ther’s j udgment—at least for the present. G. L. A. The secretary or treasurer cannot act as chairman. The secretary may call the meeting, but the meeting will elect its presiding officer. OAKLAND READER. We have little faith in any so—called “ language system ” that professes to give a speaking knowledge in six weeks. It is simply absurd. DORR, JR. You refer, we suppose, to the cuckoo. It never makes a nest, but lays a soli- tary egg In the nest of some other bird, and that bird does the hatching. DAISY D. The “ crooked eye ” can be straight- ened by a camparativelyv simple operation. Wait for that. The eyes may not- diifer in strength or length of vision. TRANSIENT. Your baggage can be retained for the unpaid board. The fact that it is worth far more than the claim will not give you the right to remove any part of it. SAM DEAN. Take the stone to any gem-dealer and he will tell you just what it is. Should say, from description, it was a lump of agate. If so, it has small value unless very unique in shade and vein. MORRIS, JR. Wolves range over all the region from the British line to Mexico. They are not , hunted as game for their flesh inoffensive and their pelts of little value. Your “ Wolf-Hun- ter ” story is, therefore, a mistake all through. MASONICUS. As the couple can give the child any name they may elect, you have no power by law to prevent the boy being iven your name. It may be a species of blac mail, but you’ll have to “ grin and bear it,” if you will not buy 0 . HOWARD W., J 3. Of course any recent book on etiquette will be a great aid in giving you a correct knowledge of just what is proper. The usages of good society change materially in a generation—Cafe noir means coffee without cream or sugar—black codes, served after dinner, in little cups. . WAKEHAN. “ Tenderfoot," as used by ranch- men and miners, corresponds to“greenhorn” lathe East—an inexperienced person. No, not Icons, by actual experience, of the life and new ditions around him. Then he is one of “the~ boys.” ' ROBBER. The value of imports for 1893 is given as-$866 400 922. Of course all goods and things purchased abroad are paid for in gold. All settlements of balances against us are made in gold. Greenbacks, silver dollars, certificates, etc., are not used at all in shell settlements. Our home “ money ” does not go out of our own country. No foreign country will take it; only gold is available. Mrs. E. V. H. Niobe is, in statuary or painting, the personification of female sorrow. Accordin to Grecian fable, Niobe was the mothero twelve children, and taunted Latona she had only two namely, A 110 and Diana. Latona commanded her ch ldren to avonge the insult. and they caused all the sons and daughters of Niobe to die. Niobe was in- consolable, wept herself to death, and was changed into a stone, from which ran water. RA'runORNE SrUDEN'r. The Mountain Meadow massacre occurred Sept. 18th. 1857. One hun- dred and thirty-six men. women and children were shot and knifed, as was charged by the Mormon “Danitee,” and by order of the Mor- mon Church “ Apostles.” It was a most hor- rible illustration of modern fanaticism. At the trial finally brought about. the Mormon bishop, Lee, was convicted and was shot March 23d, 1877—twenty years after the terrible tragedy. FREDERICKSBURG STUDENT. You would have found theiufoxmation required in Blaine’s book. It is very complete in its Congressional record and data. Both houses of the Fortietb Congress convened in extraordinary session on March 4, 1867, in pursuance of an act by the Thirty-ninth Congress. This session lasted uu '1 March 30, 1867; then a recess was had until Ju y Si, after which Congress set until July 20th; then a recess was had until November 21st, 53d the first regular Won began on December JOHN Sr. JOHN. Dante’s Inferno is one of three books, the other two being “ tory” and “ Paradise,” which comprise “La Dim'na Commedid,” the greatest work of the test Italian poet, Alghieri Dante, born at lorence in 1625. In this poem he describes an Imagin- ary visit to Hell, Purgatory and Heavan. The poem is remarkable as such, and also as being the first ever written in Ital‘ —-oven Dante’s previous works being written, as others were prior to this time, in Latin. YOUNG WRITER. Stars or asterisks are used for various purposes in printed books or docu- ments. Sometimes they are used to indicate that something is omitted, or that something that might be told is left» to be supplied by the reader’s imagination. Sometimes two, or three, or four starsare used to serve the p of a dash separating one paragraph from number. One asterisk is generallynscd as a mark of reference to a: marginal or foot-note, the next mark of the same kind being a dagger, then a double dagger, etc. . Tausrr. It is a fact. The whole world is now wired and tel phically connected. The United States Minister at the capital of China reports that the Chinese telegraph system has been connected with the Russian system, so that messages may now. be sent overland between any part of China, Russia, Europe, and by cable to Africa. North and South America and Aus- tralia. You can decide from this statement whether or not you have lost your bet. All do- termines on the exact terms of the bet—which you do not name. r ' ELSIE, or HASTINGS. Easter eggs are sym- bolical of the re-creavion of spring and of the resurrection. Christians stain them red in al- lusiou to the blood of the redemption. The other colors have come into use without war- rant. just as the blue stripe has twiued its way « about most barbers’ poles.—-As to microscopy, there is a volume on that subject in Appletou‘s International Scientific Series, we believe, and “The Wonders of Optics.” in the Illustrated Library of Wonders (Scribners), treats of offun."—Bufi‘alo Express. microscopy. It is a fascinating study or recrea- tion if you have a good micmsco . , L, _ y a‘coward, or dude, or inefficient.” '? almost, 5 every new-comer is a tender-foot until he 1 Mm 'v j _. (le .7: J " I'M, '5’ .zr, ‘S... ;,_‘__ “f4. “use; -. ,.