BALD-ERDASH. B! JOB JOT, JR. It is hard to bear upon my head The crown that’s getting bare there; ’Tis plain to see that I am blessed With plenty of no hair there. They say that I should never go Distressfully re lning, For while I‘m sti on earth I‘ve got A crown that’s bright and shining. The separations of this life Full ol‘t the tear has started And, oh, I grieve to think my hair So easily is parted! With a fine flowing head of hair i am no more encumbered, And every hair upon my head (Quite easily) is numbei ed. The eople look on me and sa — “ is head ought not below y Because it‘s got above his hair, Afthough it rises slowly." They look upon my hair that’s left, A very narrowing border, And say my locks are broken bad And greatly out of order; And reatly does it grieve my soul To ear the people say—“ ’lhere Is not much now within my head—— They've got no place to stay there." I am distressed in heart and mind, And pain has long oppressed me; The early cares of fateful life Have long ago dis-tressed me. This head as long as I shall live Shall worry me unending, Because you see, it is the head And front of my offending. And while I am quite tired of life And sorry I began it, They say my brain should be quite light, Since there is nothing on it. At theaters I hear the girls Behind me say “ Exquisite!" Another answers, “ It’s too thin," The play, or my hair, is it? Miss Dobbs last night refused my hand, And all my feelings harried, Because she said I’d have no hair To pull when we were mairied. I held her by no single hair, There was no use of fooling; I’d rather pull through life than have Another do the pulling. Tales of an Army Officer. ————4 INDIAN TOM’S STORY. BY CAPT. SATTERLEE PLUMMER. SUPPER was just over, and the odor of the savory venison we had eaten still hung in the air. Around a brightly—burning camp—fire was the writer of this; two other officers of the army: Tom Sun, or "Indian Tom,” as he is called, and “ Bony” Earnest, our two scouts. All were en- gaged in enjoyiii that luxury of camp life, an after-supper smo e. The thoughts of most of us were in the clouds, and our brains were busy building those ideal castles, in which some fair face was seen at the gate waiting for us, when our dreaming was interrupted by one of the of- ficers sa ing: “See ere, Tom, I believe you 'romised us that yarn of yours, about your and ony‘s fight with the Ute Indians. Come now; I’m anxious to hear it.” “ All right; I’ll tell it if the captain is agree able.” “ Tell it, Tom,” we all said. “I think Bony can tell it better.” “No, I can’t. You always hold a full hand on that sort of a. thing.” Tom then told the following thrilling adven— ture with the red-skins. “It was in the fall of 1869 that Bony and I thought we would go up around Elk Mountain and prospect a bit, for no mistake there is lots of yellow stuff somewhere thereabouts. We had two pack-horses, bronchos, and two we rode, and we had a good two months’ grub, bar— rin our getting any game, which was not a like- ] t ing. W'ell armed, did you say? You bet! e each had our Henry rifles and Colts, and loads of ammunition. “The Indians had not been too bad; but it’s mighty unsartain about their jumping you, and it is best to be heeled all the time. “We had poor luck the first two weeks-— would strike a color or two, but none of the right-down stuff; so Bony and I thinks we would hold up a bit on the gold biz, and go in for a few pelters, for you see we always carries our traps with us. Things run along smoothly for a few da 5 and we had good luck, and were a-thinking of shifting our camp up the stream we were on, when, while at our nooning, who should come in on us but Tom Manny and his partner, Evans, who said they had been turned afoot byquite a large party of Indians, who had taken all their stock, and would have got their hair, but that they took to the brush in time and made off. “They was tired and hungry, and told us that we had all better take the back track for Raw- lins, for as they had seen our fire-smoke the reds would be sartain to come down on us. "’ We hustled things together mighty quick, you bet, for we knew Manny and Evans too well not to know there was danger ahead if they flunked. “We made about twenty miles that night, and got to where Stranger creek meets French— man’s fork, and it was about an hour to da ', so we made a stop. It had been mighty bald traveling, going afoot throu h the snow, which was as deep as it is now. ony and I let the others ride our stock, or the could not have got along at all, they was so played out. “ I was nearly dead for some.coifee; so find- ing no sign, we made a small fire and had a hearty meal, and then took a sleep. I reckon the sun must have been three hours a-shining when I woke up. I called time. IVe all made ready for a start at once, and we had got nearly around the bend in the fork when whoop-la! hurrah! here they come, as many as fifty, a- charging into us, and a-yelling as they always does I seen our only 5 owing, in a moment, was to make straight for a small island in the creek, about fifty yards out from the bank, and covered with scrub trees and brush, so I yells: ‘ To the island, boys!’ and heads that way, grabbing one of the pack horses by his head— stall; t’other one was so infernally scared that nothing could hold him. I’Vhen we took to the water the red devils were about three hundred yards ofl". Ain’t that so, Bony 3" “I calkilated there'was good four hundred. Go on Tom." "When we struck soil they had got to the bank, and we turned and gave them a volley right there. and they returned it on us. None of us hit, but in less than five minutes our horses were too dead to kick. “'e made ourselves as nice as we could, and got ready to hold our own. The island was about fifty yards from either bank, and was, I reckon, not more than thirty yards by twenty. The Indians crossed Stranger (geek further down, and had us under two res. “ lVe used our dead horses as a breastwork, and with our knives cleaned out a place in the brush. Now all this time, maybe ten minutes, the 111- dians had been pecking away at us, but we laid low even when we were a-working a fixcn of ourselves, and they 0t too anxious to shoot true. After a few dea shots from us they drew back from the bank, a kind of satisfied with that sort of thing, and held a pow-wow. What they said I don’t know, but, about half an hour after we had seen them lumped together, about ten from each side of the creek charged us. They used real soldier ways. It was two against ten, and lead fleW. you but! Bony was grazed after being tapped with a coup stick, and Evans was 6 obliged to shift his bed. for he got it in the chest. There was five Utes dead on that ’ere island when they left, and I crawled to them and lifted their hair to make a gun-cover with. But, truth is truth; I did not think then I’d have a chance to use them; but I was r’iled, and on know, captain, when a man is r’iled he w11 do thin s the same as if he was drunk.” “ don’t blame you, Tom; you were in a bad 7’ “ I reckon we was; you ask Bony there, and he’s had a grizzle b’ar ug him.” “We soon saw that Evans must go from us; in fact, he got blue around the mouth, and said himself that he knew he was going to change his camping—place. He asked for water, and that was enough for Manny—for partners is iartners in this country—who crawled out after it to the edge of the creek. It was a brave thinsE but no go, for in stooping to reach it—the be was steer) right there—he slipped, and the noise of the splash he made as he went in, woke up the imps, and the last we saw of him, was as the Indians fished him out lower down and raised his hair. Yes, sir; the current was ver swift, just near the forks, you see. Bonv and gets a red devil apiece while they was after the body; but fifty would not have paid for such a man as Manny, true as steel, and divide the last thin he had. “ he firing was kept up pretty hard on us af- ter that for some little time; then they’d stop for half an hour or so—I reckon to try and make a plan to fix us—wlien they’d begin again; but, we was so fixed they could not hit us, and they dared not try the charging business again. “ Things had kind of been quiet for hard onto an hour. Evans had one to join his pard, and Bony and l were cal ilating on their leaving us, when they started the fire dodge. Two or three of them, by coming up—stream struck the end of the island furthest from us, and did it uiibeknown to us, and lit the brush. Bony smelt the smoke first, and said: “ ‘We’re gone, Tom; but we’ll show them how to die game; let’s strike for shore.’ “I had just agreed—for we could feel the heat: on see the brush was awful dry, and burnt ike a greyhound a-running—when Bony called my attention to the Indians; they was a-riding around like devils, going here and there, those that were on the right crossing the creek below the island as fast as their ponies could travel. In the mean time the heat he made his famous descent upon the Saxon land. A proud man was young Sir Hugh, and a r one, too, for his father had been a sad spendthrift, and when he had died had left noth- in r to his son and heir but the old family tower, sadly incumbered with debts. The heir to Challincote was a far different kind of man from the sire. The sole ambition of his life was to redeem the old estate from the hands of the money-brokers, and build up again the old-time glories of his race. And in order to accomplish this end he had sought service abroad, selhn his blood for gold, as the first great man of t e Challincote line had done in the Norman William’s time. Right well, too, had Sir Hugh prospered in his task when the terrible civil war broke out and he was summoned home from a foreign shore todraw his blade in the royal cause. Not sorr was Sir Hugh to return, for good men were in demand; there was a rospect for advancement, and then, too, the lant young soldier was in love! Not with a noble dame of high degree as one would be apt to sup se, but with the daugh— ter of a wealthy tra esman, a weaver of Tam- worth, who had plied his art with so much skill that he was reputed to be as rich as a Jew. In the olden time the money—brokers were all Jews, and therefore the people at large be- lievcd that there did not exist such a thing as a r Hebrew. ‘our daughters had the tradesmen, Mathew Holmden by name; all of them fair and buxom maidens, but the youngest of the quartette was by far the prettiest. And in truth the lads of Tamworth town were wont to swear that Maud—so she was called—was as fair a girl as could be found in the whole kingdom. The old weaver was pleased at the idea of the youngest of his flock happening to catch the fancy of so accomplished a gentleman as the heir to Challincote, and he was much grieved when the young man departed to foreign climes to seek his fortune. “Odd-bodkins!” he cried, “I would willingly have lent him the money to redeem his estate and count it no favor done, either.” But Sir Hugh was far too proud to have ac- cepted such an offer. He preferred with the edge of his own good sword to cut a road to for- tune. it'll,“ Hill! ‘- , /. a I l. \ IV .\l .. ‘\ ., X \H X \ \\ /' //:,, / / “Oh, yes; because, if you refuse I will put a public insult upon you before all menl” the fel- low replied, cooll . “Be it so!” cried the young man, nettled at the words. “ Lead on and I will accommodate 'ou.” Without more ado the bravo led the way to an open field hard-by, which was in a measure screened from the village by a thick row of pollards. The bravo drew his sword and placed himself on guard. “Now for it, my gay cavalier!” he cried; “look well to ourself, for I warn you I have taken lessons rom the best master of fence in all Europe!” Sir Hugh smiled contemptuoust at the fel- low’s boasting, and at once commenced the at- tack An excellent swordsman was the cavalier, as tho bravo speedily discovered. A dozen passes had been exchanged when the report of a pistol sounded on the air: Sir Hugh fe t a sharp sting in his side, and at the same moment the bravo threw up his hands, stag- gered back, and fell dead. The duel was but a trick. Sneed, concealed in the pollards, had attem ted to assassinate his rival, but a faulty aim ad slain the swash— buckler instead. Sneed took to his heels and escaped, and was never seen in Tamworth again, but Sir Hugh passed unscathed through all the civil war, escaped at its end to France with his young bride, and lived there until the king came to is own again, then he returned to the tower, and to this day his descendants tell the story of the duel. In the Alps. IN charming surroundings Mr. William Adams pens his last letter—from Interlaken, Switzerland—the beautiful lake embosomed in the majestic Alps, and from which tourists penetrate to the very glaciers, as Mr. Adams did. Of life in the Swiss summer resort he gives this not too commendable picture: “The hotels at this point are all filled, one hundred and sixty—eight guests arriving at one “A word with you, Sir Hugh Challincote!” he cried. from the burning brush had driven us to the other end of the island, and I determined to see what was up. I rose to my feet, and saw the puttiest sight I ever seen in in life. I gave a yell. I could not hold in, for a ut half a mile from the creek, and a—coming toward it hard, was two companies of the Second Cavalry. The Indians had seen ’em, and id no more at- tention to us, but was Oing Ii 6 Satan beaten tan-bark for the hills. he soldiers crossed near the island, and we yelled at them, and Colonel Baker, who we knew, gave us a couple of spare horses. “I’ve been happy when I’ve seen the queen ten come out on in call for a hundred, and paying four for one, ut I was happier than I ever was in my life when I fetched up on top of that Government horse. “ Yes, sir; we went back and buried them.” “ How did the soldiers happen to come, Tom?” “Oh, you see, Colonel Baker had received a dispatch from a scout from above that this party were out from White River Agency, and was going the nearest way to head them off ntggr the Sweetwater. Lucky for us, wasn’t i . “ Did the colonel catch the party?” “ No, they got clean off that night. We got some stock, but that was all.” W e then all turned in, for Tom’s story had been a longer one than we expected. In writ- ing it I have had to do so from memor , but my readers, I hope, will remember " ndian Tom,” as this is not the last of him. The Rival Lovers. A Story of the Great English Civil War. BY COL. DELLE SARA. “ LIKE bloody brothers fighting for a birth- right,” the Cavaliers and Puritans had battled manfully with each other. The “ Round- heads”—as the followers of stern Cromwell were called in derision by the royal party, be- cause they cut their hair close to the skull, thereby endeavoring to rebuke the long love- locks and the flowing, perfumed curls of the Cavaliers—were determined either to make the king yield to the demands of the Commons or else to depose him from the throne, while the weak-minded, uncertain Charles, ever the dupe of some new favorite. was as equally deter— mined, advised by evil counselors, not to yield an inch. Fiercely the war had raged; some blood battles had taken place. but as yet no decisive blow on either side had been struck. A hollow truce had been patched up between the contending forces: a vain attempt, as it- proved, to sett e the differences between the two parties by negotiation rather than by the rude shock of arms. A welcome respite the truce was, indeed, to the war—worn soldiery, and to no man on either side was this breathing-time of peace more wel- come than to young Sir Hugh Cliallincote, of Challincote Tower, near the town of Farm- worth. Of an old English family came Sir Hugh, and the Challincotcs proudly traced back their line to a certain hold, mail-clad warrior who had followed the lead of the Norman lVilliam, when Young Challincote arrived in England just as the war broke out. A troop of horse was as- signed to him, and he had the pleasure of riding beneath the banner of that able commander, Prince Rupert. So busy was he in the duties of the tented field that he had no chance to visit his lady-love in Tamworth’s ancient town until the time of the truce came. Then he hied away at once with all a lover’s ea er . e found that great changes had taken place. The old weaver was dead and the four sisters had just begun to recover from the sorrow oc- casioned by his loss. Some ei ht months had elapsed since the death of the o (1 man and dur- ing all that time the sisters had been persecuted by an errant knave who had formerly been the weaver’s confidential man of business. The fel- low had determined to marry pretty Maud and had left no means untried to accomplish his pur- pose but she had been true to her absent lover and ad bee deaf alike to flattery or threats. When th facts were made known to Sir Hugh he saw that it was time to act promptly. “ Give me a husband’s right to protect you!” he exclaimed, “and I’ll warrant you that I’ll soon find a way to silence this knave.” At first Maud objected with all a maiden’s shyness, but her three sisters declared that the plan was a capital one; and at last, overcomin er objections, the minister was notified, an without ceremony the little company proceeded to the church. To the holy entleman Sir Hugh explained the reason of t e rather unseemly haste, and thereupon being satisfied, the person soon con- Iv3erted the weaver’s daughter into a blushing ride. With hearts light and full of jo the party left the church, and as they quit the portal they encountered, leaning against a pillar, a man who stared rudely at the group. The fellow was dressed like a Puritan, wore a long sword belted to his side, and possessed a most forbidding face. “A word with you, Sir Hugh Challincote!” he cried. “A message from the cam , doubtless,” the young bridegroom whisper in the ear of Maud. “ Return home at once, and I will join you as soon as I have got rid of the fellow.” The girls hurried away, although somewhat troubled in their minds by the stranger‘s ap- pearance. “And now, sir, what would you with me?” Sir Hugh asked, haughtily, after the ladies had got beyond earshot. “Only a trifle: your life, my dainty buck!” re lied the man, insolently. ir Hu h knit his brows, but with an effort restraine his anger. “Know you not that we are now in a time of truce, and that it is not legal to out each other’s throats for another month yet ?” “Oh, I don’t trouble you because you serve the king and I the Commons, but because you have carried off my lady-love, pretty Mistress Maud!” “ Thy lady-love l” cried Sir Hugh, astonished. “Yes, mine—by proxy!” the fellow replied, grinning. “I see t at you do not understand and so I will explain. Master Jabez Sneed is a worthy man, and far more used to handling the pen than a sword; therefore. as he desires to compass your death he has hired me to rep- resent him!” “And do you think that I will encounter you —a hired bravo?” cried Sir Hugh in scorn. house alone last Saturday. An instrumental concert is given on each evening in the park, and on Sunday evenin some elaborate pieces of fireworks were set 0 from a garden adjoin- ing. Nothing, to outward ap ance, indi- cates the recurrence of the Sa bath here, the stores all remaining open, while on the hotel piazzas guests are to be seen engaged in card— playing and chess. It is to be presumed that those who spend the afternoon hours of Sunday in this way are either French or German; we have yet to learn of the first American thus desecrating the day. In the evening ballad girls, dressed in costume, sing German melodies, and quartets render operatic selections, their rich, melodious voices, sounding sweetly in the ni ht air, exciting admiration and applause.” f the trip to the glaciers he has this to sa : “Thou h the day was foggy and clouds ug- ged the s o s of Jungfrau, we started out fully equipped t e other morning for a tri to the glac1ers and Wengernalp. At interva , how- ever, the mowy brow of Jungfrau looked re- splendent in the sunlight, ded on either side b the Silberhorn and t e Schreechorn, each a ut 12,000 feet hi h. Towering above us in all their majesty, t eir summits wreathed in eternal snow, it seemed that these giant moun- tains had never presented to us so impressive an aspect as upon this identical morning. ‘The route to Grindelwald is attractive and varied, winding through picturesque valleys, and dotted at intervals with neat and trim chalets. Herds of cattle and goats are to be seen browsing on every side, their tinkling bells making the air resonant, attended by shepherd boys attired in costume, with Alpine horn strung over the left shoulder. All along this route the tourist is importuned frequently to hand out centimes or sons to juveniles, Swim 'rls in costume and decrepit old people. The t class entertains with song in solo or quar- tet, brushes the flies from your horses upon as- cending a hill, turns summersaults or hands up to the carriage bunches of wild Alpine flowers, persistent to secure the coveted coin. The Swiss girl, with olive complexion and lustrous black eyes, approaches your vehicle, oflering tempting baskets of apricots, cherries, auges or grapes, besides bearing tiny jars of oney, glasses of milk and a variety of other refreshments. “ Reaching the outskirts of Grindelwald, a ren- dezvous for ides to the glaciers and moun~ tains, we are t on every side by the bicker- ings of this class of individuals, anxious for half a ozen francs to pilot us to the glaciers. Cha- lets and rudely-constructed domiciles, answer- in as the homes of the herdsmen and moun- taineer, fill this valley, while it is bounded by three mountains each between twelve and thir- teen thousand feet high. Between these gigan- tic hills, known as the Eiger, the Meltcnberg and the Wetterhorn, lie the upper and lower glaciers, visited each season b thousands of tourists. “A two miles’ ri e in the saddle places the traveler at the hotel, from which point a th is pursued to the upper glacier over four t ou- sand feet above the sea at its base. Near the entrance to this glacier grotto, a precipitous rock towers hundreds of feet above you, and the atmosphere becomes sensibly cooler. Hens overcoats and wraps are unfolded and buttoned on, preparatbry to enterin the cave of ice, where the temperature is 45 egrees lower. The entrance to this cavern is easily reached over a plateau of combined snow and ice, dimen- sions of aperture being about three feet wide and six feet high, artificially hewn out of the solid ice. Entering this grotto, the path is straight for twenty-five or thirty feet, where it verges to the left, pursuin various curves for several hundred feet into its cold and silent re- cesses. The ice here is sin ularly pure and transparent, of a deep blue 5 ade, With not a blemish or crevice noticeable to mar its beauty. “ After a ten minutes’ walk from the glacier a storm overtook our party; though the rain caused some discomfort, we were rewarded by witnessing two separate avalanches of snow and 106, a magnificent phenomenon, striking the val- ley With a sound of thunder. At the hotel a man toots through an Alpine horn five or six feet in length, the echo reaching us a few sec- onds later from the slopes of the Wetterhorn. “ In the saddle we ascend through the narrow circuitous bridle-path of the mountain to the summit of Wengernalp in three hours, en route a series of picturesque surprises an grand views of the Bernese Alps. From the top a fine rospect is to be had of the valley of Gfindefwald and the surrounding giant moun- tains of the Oberland. The glaciers and shrouds of snow which encircle these mountains present a magnificent tacle from this int of ob— servation, forming a sixth part 0 all of the glaciers of the Alps, and the randcst uninter- rupted sea of ice in the whole lpine region.” Beat Time’s Notes. WALL pap er—greenbacks. THE best thing in adversity is prosperity. EVIL communications corrupt good editors. THE way of the transgressor is peculiarly soft. UNCLE SAM’S pensions are uncle’s alms, sure- ly. BEAUTY draws us by a single hair in the but- ter. \VHAT is sauce for the goose is sauciness of the gander. A FELLOW convicted of big’amy loved not wisely but two, well. Has the talk of the third term anything to do with this heated term? THE man recently attacked with vertigo came near not having ver-to-go. IF you wish toslee in these fly—times you will have to cover your ace with a napkin. THE husband of a scold may not talk much, but then he has certainly the gift of tongues. WHEN a man begins to find out that he is wise, then is the exact ime that he begins to be a fool. As everybody this summer is visiting some- body else, no wonder you can’t find anybody at home. THIS has been a notable year for suspensiom —many of them with ropes. (Noose editors ex- copted.) “LOVE lau hs at locksmiths,” as the lock- smith said w en his ‘ l rejected him with hilarity. WHEN two persons are made one the ques- tion often arises one what? one man or one woman? Ir a young lady is arch, it is no sign that she is an arch-angel, even though she should study archery. SHOULD you call a married lady a miss you should never attempt to correct the mistake, for she will get mad at you surely, then. A CITY man who later returned from the country, where the crop o musketoes was good, speaks of it as the rue-ral districts. I DON’T see wh it would not be easy to reach the North Pole ‘ you would only step u on the longitudinal lines and climb as on a lad er. A MAN out West who hadn’t any fortune com- ing to him in the old country has just died, but then there was no use for him in this world. SWIPEs is so particular that when he goes in bathing he puts on an indie-rubber tight suit, so he won’t get wet. It disfigures him to get wet. THERE are people who delight to have you visit them for the purpose of overwhelming you with their magnificence, and who visit you only to overwhelm you with your own poverty. “MB. JONES,” said the landlady, “I would like to see more get-up in you of a morning.” “Yes,” said he, “and I would like to see more filly rising in your bread ;” but he dodged the TELL a man that his wife’s maiden aunt is comin , but his frown will be a smile compared with t e look on his face when the core of his piece of watermelon drops just as he is going to ite it. EDISON has late] invented a rubber doll which answers all t e p of a real baby, cries naturally, screams, kicks, pulls whiskers, tumbles out of the crib, rolls down stairs, pulls the cloth oflf the table, yells, squalls, shrieks, whoops, and is in every way as interestin as a regular live baby belonging to your neigh r. It is one of the most successful inventions of the age, and costs nothing to kee . It is just as desirable as any other baby, am affords just as much amusement. Nothing finer could be desired in that line. Small families furnished on application. Q‘Among the features of the SATURDAY JOURNAL for the past summer have been the “Typical Women ’ papers. That they have been well received is a good “sign of the times." When readers of pular literature demand such matter it affo satisfacto evidence that the better class of popular wee 'es are educa- tors in the true sense—ang the mind and taste toward a constantly—increasing excellence. A Jersey City correspondent thus adverts to these papers: “ As a constant and always interested reader of the SATURDAY JOURNAL, while fully appreciating its many other attractive features, I wish particularly to thank you for the highly instructive and enter- taining series of papers under the heading ‘ Typi- cal Women.’ “ With the lives of some of the more prominent historical personages included in this series, I was already, as I supposed, familiar; but after reading any one of these admirable sketches, I find I have ob- tained a much clearer and more satisfactory idea of the individual who is the subject of it, than I ever had before. Certain anomalies, obscurities, defl- ciencies, in the lives of these celebrities, which had previously rendered them somewhat enigmatical beings to me, seem, as I read these brief memoirs in the JOURNAL, to somehow miraculously disap~ pear, and their characters to assume for the first time distinctness, consistency and completeness. Notably this was the case with Elizabeth of Eng land; in a less, though still important degree, Mary of Scotland; and so of others. It * * “ These brief biographies seem to me to be a happy exempliflcation of Voltaire’s pithy saying, that ‘the life of an individual is not all that he has done, but all that he has done worth re- cording.” By a harmonious grouping of essential facts —such only as are of real value in illustrating character, these graphic sketches put the readers of the SATURDAY OURNAL in possession of a rounded and finished ‘Iife,’ which can be grasped at a single view, and which conveys a much more clear and truthful idea of its subject, and is far more interesting, than if burdened with unneces- sary and irrelevant detail. At least, so I have found them." Limifl‘