SOPHRONIA’S MAD.

BY JOE JOT, JR.

 

I wish that I could sell myself.
Or trade myself away

For anything not worth a cent;—

I wish I had been loaned in Lent
And had gone there to stay,

For all the world is whirled from me
And I am very sad; .
What care 1 for my new brown suit~

Sophronia’s mad!

She mentioned she’d an ice-cream tooth
Last night, a week ago; _

I searched my pockets on the hint

To find I didn’t have a cent
On ice-cream to bestow,

So talked against the theme with all
The reason that I had—

Gave all excuses but the true,
And she got mad !!

Young Jones, she intimated then,
Only the eve before
Asked her to go but she refused;
She said he looked like one abused,
She would not do so more.
Ice—cream to me how cold thou art!
My fortune is too bad,
You made a coldness ’tween two hearts—-
Sophronia’s mad!!!

Now though she may be near to me
:~he‘s too far ofi’ to speak;

I miss her voice‘s tender lones;

Her smiles, select, she gives to Jones—
The craven little sneak!

Two absent dishes of ice-cream
Have dished me; oh, how sadl

And life is very scarce with inc—-
Sophronia‘s mad I ! E!

The chords that kept my heart in tune
Have jarred their sharps and flats;
I’ve wagonvloads of grief to spare;
An ill-fit garb of woe I wear.
I’ll take some, “ Rough on Rats!"
If I were very deadly dead
I think I would be glad :-
My handkerchief is very limp——
Sophronia’s mad I! l E!

If “ there‘s a land of pure delight,"
I'd like to know the fare.

How sweet her laughter used to be!

But now, she only laughs at me,
Which puts me in despair.

I have no heart to shave; my face
With quite a beard is clad;

No buttonhole bouquets I wear—
Sophronia‘s mad! 2! l E l

The hinge is rusting on the gate;
The door-bell is unrung—

The bell I‘ve often rung it;

The gate I‘ve often swung it,
’Tis now by me unswung.

At night I now see Jones
A-hanging thereabout,

Yet madly still I am in love
And she is madly out.t

 

Foolscap Papers.

What Boots it, Anyhow?

THE young man sighedas he remarked: “ The
mellow radiance of the evening lamp—turned
down a little— fell softly upon (as well as upon
the rest of the furniture in the parlor) the forms
and faces of Clementina and myself when the
old gentleman entered, turned up the light a lit-
tlo without saying a word, and sat down by the
other side of the center-table and began to read
his paper. Clementina and I were talking about
tho—about the Weather as he took a seat.
Thought I, here now is my golden opportunity;
so, ordering all the courage I had in reserve to
the front, I said: ‘Mr. Perkinson, you are
aware that I love your daughter; have you any
very many objections against bestowing her
I: n me!’

“ He laid his paper down and rose up, so. ing,
‘Young man, I kick,’ and he began to. was

rfectly set forward. I was never so stricken
in that direction in my life before. His wrath
was volcanic. I had often read of a wolf in a.
sheep’s skin, but I had never seen a mule in a
dress-coat before.

“ I endeavored to explain to him that it was
his daughter’s hand I wanted, not his foot or
boot; but apologies were not harmonic just then,
and that poetic foot movement soon becam? so
disconcerting—so spondeeneous, so to speak~
that my sense of rhythm was so shocked that I
had to turn away, all the while painfully con-
scious that this overture was a very unsatisfac—
tory mode of getting a rest in that family.

“Of course I did not vote to task his hos-

itality long, for I thought from certain ath—
etic eccentricities in his manner toward me,
at the moment, that my absence wouldn’t make
him sick; and seeing that I was in the way
every time he would sling his foot to express
his feelings at the situation, I took my depart
ure, but not my hat, and with a little assistance
from him I got down the front steps.

“Now, it is impossible for me to sit down
quietly and‘ contemplate this grievous instance
of what I may term total depravity; and I may,
with all a lover’s courage, demand to know
what that old tauyard meant? What objec-
tions can he have to me? He had nothing when
he was a young man, and so have I! I felt
then and now like a knight, booted and spurred,
but for the sake of her I love I didn’t resent
that beastly performance of that Major Domo
—-tho old rip! I rather think the whole family
is a little too toe ny for me, and will have to
resign my hopes of Clementina’s hand and in—
come—over five thousand a year, so I hear.

“And then, it was the time of the evening
when all honest men should have worn slip-

rs, and I think it is the sign of a c0ward to

ake advantage of a gentleman when his back
is turned, anyway; it is the meanest of all de-
meanor—the old porcupine!

“ At any other time it might have been
amusing—throwing his boot with a foot in it,
but just then it was shocking, and I utterly
condemn the whole parental procedure. I now
am as sure as I live that he had nothing against
me but his boot. I worshiped at the loving
shrine of Saint Cupid, but I am led to think that
it was Saint Crispin who had stepped in be-
tween me and my burnisher of nightly dreams.

“ What an underhanded way he had of using
his pedal p0wers to part us! I rather think I
feel completely demoralized, disconcerted,
crushed, for she will not want to look me in the
face again—and neither would her father. I
had rather he wouldn’t. It makes me so mad
that I would like to kick myself, but have had
enough.

“ While it exasperates me to think that per-
haps forever there is a foot or more between
Clementina and me it is consolin to think that
any jackass can discount that ol ass. I could
myself if I was only to try, but I won’t try—
just now.

“ I dare not now raise the cry of ‘ Beauty or
Bootee’ for I would be surer to get the latter.
So my energies are thrown into a state of com-
plete lethargy. I’d trade myself ofi.’ for a fossil
and ask no boot. To me, in fact, everything
seems bootless—except that old curmudgeon; I
feel like a sole survivor on the shores of Time
with a wrecked constitution, and a faint con-
ception what de—feet means.

“HOW far is the depdt from here, and when
does the two-o’clock train start?”

WASHINGTON WHITEHORN.

 

 

SOME people can never hear children cry with-
out emotions that do credit to their kindness of
heart. The lamentations of extreme infancy
excite their sympathy under all circumstances.
There are others whose sensibilities are less hu-
mane and who do not hesitate to utter even
profane speech when disturbed by the notes of
the little minstrels of the crib and cradle. An
elderly spinster lady reproached a mother for
bringing her babe, who was in the early stages
of teething, Where its fretting would annoy
strangers. “You forget,” replied the pious ma-
tron, meekly, “that Christ said ‘Sufl‘er little
children to come unto me, for of such is the
Kingdom of Heaven.’ ” “That’s just it,” snap
pishly added the spinster; “if your baby was
only in heaven I shouldn’t complain.”

 

Unbleached Domestics ;

7

Corn and Cotton Sketches.

BY ALF RESCO.

 

 

XIII.—“ Hark” on Common Schools.

“ So they don’t quite meet with your appro-
val?”

“ Dey means well, Mass’ Alf, but dev doesn’t
fill do bill. Leastways, dey mo’ dan fills hit—
dey goes cl’ar beyant it.”

“How is that! Explain yourself, old man?”

“ Hit’s de common art Oh it dat am de Iris-
take in my ’pinion. ar am jes’ whar de strub-
ble hes.”

“ Why, I thought that was the beauty of the
system.”

“ Hit’s mighty nice ter talk ’bout, an’ ter read
’bout, too, I reckon, fer them what kin read,
but when yer comes ter look at it, an’ see how
do cistern—as yer calls it—works, den yer sees
whar hit am weighed in de balance an’ foun’
wantin’. Hit am a mighty leaky cistern, sho’
es you is born.”

“ But how? Where is the defect?”

“ Jes’ as I said, boss; kase dey am common.”

“ Oh, you’d like them better if they were un-
common; is that it? I know some localities
where they would suit you admirably, Hark.”

“ I’d like to see ’em so oncommon dat dese
yer niggas an’ or’nary white trash mought put
some vallyation on ’em. What ye reckon dey
car’s for ’em as it am?”

“Can’t say, I‘m sure.”

“ I kin tell er how much dey car’s. Not de
fus’ thing. V hat dat kine ob l’arnin’ wqu what
dey doesn’t pay nuflin fer? Hit’s mighty easy
ter see what dey thinks Oh it. Jes’ ’bout es
much es de ’simmons what dey gits for de
pickin’, kase dey doesn’t ’long ter nobody.”

“ But it must benefit them, notwithstand-

7!

“ De vittles what ye gibs de strong, hearty,
lazy tramp does him good, I reckon, kase hit
keep HI) from starvin’; but all dat does a heap
o’ harm 'in de long run, boss. Hit’s de prin-
cipple dull am wrong.”

" But in what way, Uncle Hark?”

“ Hain’t it wrong ter ’courage laziness, when
yer gibs money, an’ grub, an’ ole clo’s ter folks

what’s able ter work for ’em ?”

“Well, es; that sort of thing is a mistaken
charity. t encourages pauperism.”

“ Well, sho’ es you lib, Mass’ Alf, yer has it
hyer, in de wery wustest fo’m. Yer jes’ es
good es tells all dis no-’count crowd dat de
l’arnin’ what dey gits ain’t wufi’ de strubble 0b
strivin’ arter, an’ dey isn’t long in puttin’ de
same vallyation onter hit. Et‘ dere ever war
deleastest show fer de sperit ob ambition ter
bud, an’ blossom, an’ bring fo’th fruit in sile so
onpromisin’, dis yere way ob sayin’, hyer’s yer
edercation all cut an’ dried, free gratis fer nuf
fin, would be mighty sho’ ter lay hit out an’
bury bit, past do hope ob ary resurrection. Ef
yer tries dat game on, wheder it am wid chile
er man, hit am boun’ ter work de same way.
Tell him he needn’t ter work fer no livin’, tell
him he needn’t ter work fer no l‘ai‘nin’, an’ he’ll
take what yer gibs him—mo’ fool he ef he
didn’t—but, all do same, dat man er dat boy
will neber be wuff shucks. Ef edercation am
ob any vally in de ma’ket, hit am wutf ti'yin’
for. Dat what I say.”

“And I say so, too. But suppose thev are
not able to obtain it for themselves. What
then?”

“ Et’ a man hain‘t able ter work, dere hain’t
no ha’m in feedin’ ob him, on de corntrair hit’s
got ter he did. Dar hain’t no ’couridgement ob
idleness an’ cussedneSS in dat ar. Same way,
when do chile ain‘t ot no one ter pay fer de
schoolin’, put hit on 6 same head. Gib de po’
thing ’nough ter fight hits w y wid, but no pam-

erin’ ’long ob Latin, an’ joggerphy. an’ all dat

ine ob high l’arnin', what hit ain‘t got use wid.
Stufiin‘ hit wid all dat kine ob truck am like
puttin’ yer Sunday-go—ter-meetin’ suit onter a
beggar, an’ feedin’ on him wid plum—cake an‘
Charlotte roosters. Ef de young’un think dat
he want any mo’ l’arnin’ when he ’gins ter git
along in de worl’, den let him work fer de bal—
ance. He's had de start, an’ ef dar am any-
thing in him dat’s wufi' de fotchin’ out, dat’ll
fotch hit. But yer won’t never do it by gibin’
ob him all he ax, an’ mo’, too, widout his feelin’
do 005’ Oh it. De cistern am all wrong, boss”

“ But, Hark, you forget that there are many
people who, though they are not quite paupers,
are able to do but little in the way of educating
their children.”

“Den let ’em do What dey kin, Mass’ Alf.
But make ’em feel, de las’ one Oh dem, dat dai-
hain’t no schoolin’ ter be had lessen dey shells
out. Et' dey only pays a nickel a week, dat am
somefin’, pervided dey am made ter feel dat
dey am workin’ fer it. ’Bout dat time ye bet-
ter believe dey ’gins ter vally de edercation,
an’ de mo’ hit cos’ ’em, de mo’ dey’ll prize hit.
Human natur’ am de same in all sarcumstan-
ces. Dat’s been proned inter me for a mighty
long time.”

“ You want ople to be ambitious, then?”

“ Cou’se I oes! Dat what make, fus’ dis
man, an’ den dat man, want ter be Preserdent.
Dar hain’t no ha’m in dat. But who, ye reckon,
would car’ ter be Preserdent of hit war some-
fin dat mought be had, like dis-public schoolin’,
fer de askin’? Folkses wouldn t car’ ’bout git-
tin’ ter heaben, ef hit war on de school cistern.
I is ’mos’ ’feard in dat case, we~’uns would hev
a heap wuss world dan we has. Ef money war
ter be had fer de pickin’ up, dar wouldn’t be
many what would git kinks in dere backs stoop~
in‘ fer it.”

“ lts value would be materially lessened, cer-
tainly.”

“ Dar am one thing yer may gamble yer last
cent on, boss; dis way ob edercatin’ de people
hain’t gwine ter make no great men an’ women
for de nex’ gineration, an’ 1 is beginnin’ ter
think de crap ob good ones am liable ter be
mighty sca‘ce, too.”

“And you lay the whole blame on the sys
tem 3”

“ Dere hain’t nuflin else ter lay hit on. ’Long
ob dat, yer kin see wid half an eye what hit am
sho’ ter fotch up at. I reckon dc polerticians
would gib de subjic’ a minit or two ob cornsid-
eration ’fo’ day started a hull b’ilin’ ob she-
bangs in all parts ob de kentry fer de wholesale
trainin’ ob tramps.”

“But surely you don’t put this in the same
cate cry?”

“ wa’n’ts akin’ ’bout cats, but I does say
dat de prinCipple am (is same in bofe cases.
Dar war heaps o’ gals I mought ha’ had for de
axin’, ’fo’ me an’ de ole woman took up, but jes’
kase dat war dc way ob it, I didn’t want none
ob ’em in mine. I had ter fight mighty hard
fer do one what I wanted, mind I tole yer. boss.
I isn’t a-sayin’ dat ary one ob de gals what was
ter be had widout any strouble mought ha’
been jes’ es good es Betsy, but yer see dar wa’n’t
no vallyation put on ’em, an’ I wouldn’t ha’
car’d a settin’ ob buzzard’s eggs for de pick ob
’em, of 1 bed took up ’long ob her.”

“ I dare say you’re about half right there.”

“1 is hull right, boss; an’ you’ll see dat I is
when do time. comes fer ye ter make yer ch’ice.
I think I sees yer frowin’ ob yerself away on
one ob dese gals what yer kin hab fer de pickin’
up. Now, dat young lady, las’ winter, what
her ole mummy war in sich a pickle ’bout yer
gwine sailin’ wid so much—”

“ You are straying from the subject, Hark.”

“ Not much I ain’t, Mass’ Alf. Hit am all on
de sa,me principple wid dis common school cis-
tern. '

in

 

THE late Dr. Cook. of Haddington, who was
minister of the first charge, officiated as prison
chaplain. On one occasion, he observed among
the prisoners one old woman who had been a
frequent inmate. “Here again, Mary l” the
doctor said, to which Mary replied: “Aweel,
sir, whaur couldl be better? I get my meat,
an’ I get my claes, an’ I hae the benefit 0’ your
in in istrations !”

 

Items of Current Interest.

Wisconsin has a German-born population of
nearly 200,000. This is one-half of the foreign
increment, and the State prospers wherever
they settle down.

The discovery of so many LOGO-barrel oil
wells in Pennsylvania has depreciated the
value of oil above ground (30,000,000 barrels)
thirty cents per barrel, or a total shrinkage of
$9,000,000.

The sale of the Moody and Sankey Hymns, it
is stated, has reached a total sale of ten millions
of copies, all editions. As the evangelists have
a copyright they are making their evangelism
pay—which is all right, of course.

The value of all the farms in the United
States is estimated at 310196390045; value of
farm implements at $450,516,902; live dock,
31500487189; fertilizers purchased and used in
1879, $27,598,859; fences, cost of building and
repairing in 1879, $77,765,723.

It is estimated that the Americans who go
abroad this season will carry $155 000,000 out of
this country. The immigrants who come here
will bring only a slight percentage of that sum.
The idea that “each immigrant who lands is
worth athousand dollars to the State ” can only
be true when he adds a thousand dollars to our
home wealth by his honest labor; but as a large
proportion of those who land are utterly penni-
less it will, We surmise, be many years before
the State will feel the benefit of their oming.

The, steamer Labrador, on her last trip to New
York from Havre, witnessed a novel sight during
her passage while near the Banks. She passed
through schools of flying fish which circled in
the air for miles around. They varied from
twelve to eighteen inches in length, and there
were thousands of them around the vessel.
They flew along at a hight of five or six feet
above water, every now and then (living
through a wave, rising again gracefully and
flying away a few hundred feet, then plunging
into the water again. The fish were of a bean-
tiful bright color, and glistened like gold in the
sunlight.

One of the curious industries of the country
has its principal home at New Berne, N. C.
This is the manufacture of wooden platters,
plates and trays. The timber used for this pur-
pose is supplicd by the neighboring swamps. A
huge log is rounded by a circular plane and then
put into a machine which, with great accuracy
and swiftness, cuts off thin strips of the wood.
When these strips have been cut into square
pieces and thoroughly dried they are made pli-
able by steam. In that condition they are
molded in the shapes desired. The factory is
now making 100,000 plates a day, according to
a report, which it is hard to believe.

We ought, perhaps, to relegate this item to
the Fashion Notes, but will consider it of cur-
rent interest enough to justify its repetition
here: “The prevailing sty e of dog for this sea—
son will not be changed to any marked degree.
The window-brush dog continues to continue in
favor among young women who have been
crossed in love and have the dyspepsia. A
favorite style of dog has a princes! nose, and is
trimmed with an ostrich-plume tail tightly
curled over the polonaise. The Prince Albert
cutaway dog is not used in Warm weather.
City dogs that undertake to depopulate the
country fields of the ornate and festive bull will
be gored. Shaggy dogs will be worn with the
hair boutfant around the neck, plain about the
waist and polonaise, and a pompadour tail.

It is stated in the Newsdealers’ Bulletin that
“during the last forty years the A pletons
have sold forty million copies of ebster’s
Spellers.” One million per year! The school-
master must be abroad. Query:——why are
school-books so outrageously expensive? Con-
sidering their enormous sales they should be
the cheapest books in the world: but it is a
very unpalatable fact that they are the dear-
est, in proportion to their actual cost of pro-
duction, of all books in the market. He will be
a public benefactor who will put on the mar—
ket a good series of Geographies, Arithmetics,
Grammars, Philosophy, etc., at a reasonable
cost to the scholar. “'ebster’s Speller is the
rare exception to the rule of extortionate prices
for school-books. It is one of the cheapest ever
circulated and—one of the very best. If we
had the “say ” we would have it restored to
every common school in the land~from whence
it has been driven by the intrigues of publish-
ers and the venality of the school authorities.

 

 

Personals.

A NEW YORK paper says that Capt. Paul
Boyton has sw um more than 25,000 miles, saved
hundreds of lives, and is officially reported by
the Life-Saving Service as having rescued sev-
entytwo persons from drowning upon the
coasts of the United States. For his services he
has received forty—two medals from European
Governments, but not one from the country of
which he is a native.

THE dress which Miss Emily McTavish, the
wealthy and exceedingly handsome Baltimore
belle, wore when she renounced the world and
was invested with a nun’s habit was a full and
costly bridal costume, composed of a heavy
white satin dress, cut on train, and caught up
with buds and orange-blossoms. A tulle vail
enveloped her figure in a fleecy cloud. This
typified her wedding with the church.

MR. SPURGEON, the great Baptist preacher of
London, has no faith in human philosophy. He
would rather, he says, have one little promise
in a corner of the Bible than all the statements
and promises of all the philo:ophers that ever
lived. Every philosopher that ever has existed
has contradicted every other one: that which is
taught today will certainly be disproved to—
morrow; and so, he thinks, the history of
philosophers is, in brief, the history of fools.

THE betrothal is announced of Mlle. Bertha
von Rothschild, youngest daughter of Baron
Meyer Charles von Rothschild, and Prince
Alexander von Wagram, son of the Duke Na-
poleon von Wagram, Prince of Neufchate]. and
the Countess Zenaida von Claru, niece of King
Bernadotte. The prospective bridegroom is a
brother-in-law of Prince Joachim Murat, and is
a Catholic. The conversion of the bride to that
religion will occur immediawa before the wed-
ding.

MRS-LINCOLN left a mysterious letter with a
Chicago safe deposit company, with instruc-
tions that it should be opened only after her
death. A large white envelope contained a
smaller yellow one, in which in turn was a
mourning bordered envelope, on which was
written: “ To be opened by the county judge
of Cook county after the death of Mrs. Lin—
coln.” It was opened the other day by Judge
Loomis, who, however, declines to make its
contents public.

IF any man in the land would be justified in
attempting a general slaughter of his neighbors,
that man is Samuel Price, of Portland, Oregon.
Having fallen in love with a. comely chamber-
maid at one of the Portland hotels, Mr. Price
exercised his unquestioned prerogative of ask-
ing the young woman to become his wife, and
she in turn declined, as she had a perfect right
to do. At this point Mr. Price’s friends took
the matter up and determined to perpetrate a
practical joke. One of them, specially desi -
nated for work of that natur by rt-ason of his
efl’eminate face and voice, persnnated the cham-
bermaid, and when the lover renewed his suit
in a dimly lighted room, yielded to his entreat-
iez and consented to marry him at once. An-
other friend ofliciated as a Justice of the Peace
and performed a mock-ceremony with great
dignity and composure. The lights were turned
up. a throng of malicious jokers pressed into
the room, and the farce was concluded. At
last accounts Mr. Price Was looking for his
“friends,” with several revolvers. It is to be
hoped that he has found them.

 

 

Notes and Answers

To Readers and Correspondents.

This department being “readers’ and correspond-
ents” own," is open to all proprrqueries from those we]:—
ing inj'ormutimt or advice, chic/L is cheerfully given
upon all subjects.

All contributions not here noted as “ declined " are
passed to the “accepted ” list.

Declined: “Dying Soldier‘s Request;” “Virtues
of Housekeeping? “The Lawn;" “ l’m Dreaming
of Thee;” “The Editor—Before and After:” “ Pris-
cilla‘s Romeo;" “AfterLunch Axioms;” “Fruit
for the Stealingz” “Baring to the Blow;” “As
Beautiful as Fair;” “The Enchanted Annex;” “An
Unexpected Issue;" “Mount Disappointmentg”
“That Provoking Man!;" “A Handkerchiefs Mis-
sion;” “The Stuck-ups;” “A New Deal;” “Keep
the Season Well.”

LOUIS G. O. Wrote, declining MSS. Have a sur-
feit of such matter and use but little.

B. E. A. There was an issue of a ten-cent piece
in 1830. Its trade price is fifty cents for a fine speci-
men. Correspond with Scott & 00., 721 Broadway,
N. Y., coin-dealers.

ARIEL. See our articles on “ Cottage Housekeep-
ing." Your little essay is good enough for use but
it would only repeat what we already have said on
its theme. Send it elsewhere. MS. is held for order.

ALBUM. Not knowin just the sentiment you wish
to express we can liar ly give you the required in—
scription. A considerable number of album inscrip—
tions, dedications, etc., are given in BEAnLE’s DIME
LOVER‘s CAskET.

R. E. M. The item you refer to gave no number
or address. It was simply a news paragraph. By
writing to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty
to Animals—New York City—you will probably ob-
tain all necessary information.

D. H. P. The Young .\3 w Yorker will not resume
publication very soon. The demand seems to be for
“ boys’ papers ” of a semi-vicious character-which
we heartily discountenance.—As to Oliver Optic’s
“Pink of the Pacific,” first published in the Y. N.
Y., write to Lee and Shepard, Boston.

OPTICIAN. What you want is the “Sidereal Mes-
senger,” published singularly enough at Northfield,
Minnesota. It is a monthly, giving in each number
just the information you seek—special papers on
apparatus, methods and Observations, and very full
notes on all astronomical news and data.

G. D. J. Postmasters are required to give notice
by letter when a. subscriber does not take his paper
from the office. Neglecting to do so makes the
postmaster responsible to the publisher for pay-
ment. —If subscribers m0ve to other places without
informing the publisher. they are held responsible.
Notice should always be given of the removal.

FLORENCE H. Imperial serge is a very fine black
wool goods. with wide diagonal twills. It costs from
two to three dollars a yard. Victoria and Beatrice
cloth are soft, light-weight, summer wool goods, a
trifle heavier an more durable than nun’s vailing
and not quite as heavy as fiannel.—-Sponge your
black silk where it is shiny with diluted alcohol or
ammonia. This is good for grenadine. also—Black
woo. or cloth should be sponged with water in
which a teaspoonful of powdered borax has been
dissolved.

TITANIA. A young lady with fair complexion,
light blue eyes, some color, and red hair, ought to
wear bottle-green, seal-brown, dark-blue, dark car-
dinal, olive, heliotropc, and black; and should avoid
all grays and neutral tints—“Titian-red "is a red
much affected by Titian or Tiziano Vecellio, a cele-
brated Venetian painter who lived from 1477 to 1576,
for the hair of the women in his pictures—Titania
was the wife of Oberon. and queen of the fairies,
Oberon being king of those merry little folk.

TWELVE-YEAR-OLD. Ask your mother to make you
a dark-cardinal cloth dress over a etticoat of some
striped material—Plait your hair, ialf its length, in
two braids, tie it with ribbon, and leave the lower
half of the braid flowing—It is absurd for you to
think of carrying on correspondences with young
men. Leave that till you are at least eight years
older, and spend the intervening eight years in de-
veloping mind and body—Never take an 'thing
from a waiter’s hand, but let him himself p ace it
upon the table.

HETTY. You can make a pretty bridemaid’s dress
of white nun’s vailing and moi/‘é combined. The
sleeves may be made entirely of Spanish net. Wear
ahigh ruche of Spanish lace in the neck, white silk
stockings and white satin slippers, white undressed
kid gloves—long and loose-wristed, and pond-lilies
for a corsage bouquet and upon the skim—It is a
mistake to think that finger-bowls are only used in
hotels and restaurants. !They are commonly used
in private families. At the end of the meal one
should be placed in front of each person. The ends
of the fingers are dipped in the bowl and then wiped
upon the napkin.

C. Z. R. Garfield’s grave was watched by volun-
teer guards, but this watch, we believe, is not now
kept up. It was guarded to prevent any grave dese~
oration, as there are plenty of ghouls who would
have stolen the remains, hoping' for a reward for
their restoration. Attempts were made on Lincoln‘s
tomb, and the miscreants very nearly succeeded in
getting the coffin out; hence it was guarded for some
time.——There is no State 8 ecial Sunday law in New
York, but a general State aw making it illegal to do
certain things on Sunday. In}: number of cities in
the State there are local ordinances against liquor
saloons being opened on Sunday.

THEATER-GOER. Maggie Mitchell is a married wo-
man. over forty years old. and has two children.
Her name is Paddock—Genevieve Ward is one of
the best American actresses. She is not married.—
Mrs. Langtry plays under her own name. She is
coming to this country soon. She can hardly be
called a fine actress, but she is a clever amateur.
As to her being the most beautiful woman in the
world that is as people think. Judging by her pho-
tograph we shall not be surprised to hear it said that
we have thousands of women in this country who
are more beautiful. But, “handsome is as hand-
some does," so we all will wait for the lady’s coming
With considerable interest.

 

 

 

 

REC'roa STREET Gnocnn. Sue the man'in one of
the District courts of the city. It will greatly save
expense. Business people can take out summons
themselves by paying the clerk of the court 31, and
351 additional for the service of the summons by the
Marshal attached to the court. If the debtor does
not pay on the service of the summons, but prefers
the trouble of contesting, $2.50 additional pays the
cost of trial fee, being a total of $1.50 to exactly ob-
tain a judgment, which the Marshal is bound to col-
lectif it is in his legal power to do so. Lawyers who
take their cases into the higher courts get higher
costs, but the business man gets no more law or jus—
tice. So don't let your lawyer fool you.

Form MOTHER. We fear that we do not fully com-
prehend. 1f others have, by erverse counsel, alien-
ated your daughter, bear an forbear should be the
rule, unless their )urpose is vicious; in that case,
advise your dang iter lainly of the character of
the work the intermedd ers are doing, and then de-
clare yourself unwilling any longer to be considered
her adviser. The lunatics who substitute isms for old
moral standards, are usually both ignorant and de-
moralized—and are, therefore, people to avoid as
equally offensive and dangerous. If she cannot see
clearly enough to detect the right, and be brave
enough to do it, you are not bound to continues.
hopeless warfare in her behalf, to the destruction of
your own peace of mind and home happiness. So it
seems to us.

FANCY WORKER. It is now quite the rage for la-
dies who do fanc work to cow-r Japanese or alm-
leaf fans with sil ' or satin, to match their di erent
costumes. A loni:r loop of ribbon, of the same color
as the covering, is attached with a jaunt bow to
the handle of the fan, and the pretty tri e is thus
swung upon the arid—A fan covered with écru
satin may be embroidered with bright cardinal and

ale cream; a dark blue is embroidered with a

right yellow and dull brown; a pale blue is coni-
bined with Scarlet and a bright yellow; alight red
is worked with brown, cream, and light blue;
cream-white satin is embroidered wholly in dark
brown; dull plum, in pale blue and pale pink; olive,
in light and dark cardinal. Of course the combina—
tions may be varied to match the costumes of the
wearer.

GrssiE, Herkimer, N. Y., asks: “that is the
Langtry bonnet. and how can I make a good-sized
screen to set before a door?" The Langtry bonnet
is a scoop bonnet trimmed outside with a wreath of
loops of ribbon and insule with a wreath of flowers.
——Get a carpenter to make alight pine frame with
solid feet. It should measure three feet by three.
or be four feet high and two wide. This will cost
about fifty cents. At a paint-store get Devoe‘s
ebonizer, which will cost you twenty-five cents.
\Vith this stain your screen frame, rubbing in two
coats. Choose Silesia of two prettily contrasting
colors which will look well with the trimmings of
your room. Dampen these, and while wet stretch
one upon each side of your frame. Tack them
lightly upon both sides, tightening them as they
dry. Lastly, turn in the edges and fasten with tin
ca t-tacks, putting a tack at every inch or inch
an a half along the frame. These, in turn, must
be covered 2 y brass-headed nails. The efiect of the
brass heads should be neat and regular. Now orna-
ment your screen with Christmas, Easter and birth—
day cards, floral pieces, hotographs, pretty illus-
trations, or anything of t at kind which suits your
faigy. Use fine fiour paste very smooth and rather
sti .

Ix I'IRER writes: “Lately a lady friend, with a.
gent eman who is paying her attention, called upon
me and spent the evening. And I asked the gentle-
man, who entered the arlor with his hat in his
hand, if I might relieve him of his hat and cane. He
said, ‘Oh, no!’ and kept them in hand during the
evening. As I am a plain woman, unacquainted
with the newest fashions in manners, I would like
to know if this is the correct thing for a gentleman
to do? It seemed to me it would have been much
more sensible and friendly if he had left his hat and
cane in the hall." When gentlemen call upon inti-
mate friends they should leave not only umbrella,
overcoat and overshoes in the hall but hat and cane.
There is a rule laid down, however, by the best au-
thorities upon social etiquette, which says that in
all other cases—that is, in all ceremonious calls——
“Gentlemen should take their hats and sticks with
them into the drawing—room. The hat and stick
should never be deposited upon a chair, or table, or
any other article 0 furniture. They can be laced
upon the floor very near the chair occu ied y the
owner if he does not wish to retain t em in his
hands.” You see the gentleman was not in the
wrong, although in vour case a little tact and less
desire to be eminently stylish m' ht have led him to
be less ceremonious. Indeed, b0 u young men and
young women requ1re a great deal of tact, to enable
them to discriminate as to when to carry rules of
etlilqigette to the extreme or to moderate them some-
w a. .

AMY Asnnsnn. Second mourning is now very lit-
tle worn. It is the fashion to go directly from black
into some bright colon—We approve your desire to
be economical in this time of high prices for pro-
visions, and will suggest one excellent way of mak-
ing a delicious dish out of a chea cut of beef. Get
two pounds of round steak. cut 0 all fat and gristle,
and slice it into very thin Slices of four or five inches
square. Upon each square of steaklaya still thinner
and slightly smaller slice of salt pork. Mix two tea-
spoonfuls of salt. one of thyme or summer savory,
and half a one of pep )er. Season the squares with
this, then roll them tig fly and tie with a bit of clean
string. Into a frying-pan gout a table-spoonful of
drippings, and all the bits 0 fat you trimmed from
the steak and pork. Put in the rolls and brown
them on all sides—a process which will take about
ten minutes. Next put them in a sauce an and add
to the fat in the. frying-pan a. heaping ta le-spoonful
of flour, stirring until it is a bright brown. Into this
pour, slowly, a quart of boiling water. Now strain
the gravy on have thus made into the saucepan
with the ro ls. Cover this closely, and stew the rolls
for two hours, stirring them occasionally to prevent
them from burning. Cut off the strings and serve
them 710! upon a platter garnished with parsley.
These rolls are nice made Without the pork. To use
them for breakfast cook them the previous day and
beat them through the next morning. Another way
to prepare the steak is to leave it whole and spread
upon it a filling such as is used to stufl veal or
poultry. Then roll the steak tightly, tie it, and cook
it exactly as you would the small ones.

a. Unamend questions on hand will appear nut
tuck.

 

ILLUSTRATED CHARADE-

 

 

 

 

 

Charade.

 

My/I'rsl may to a lady be a comfort or a. bore.

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My second, where you are, you may for com-

fort shut the door.

My whole will be a welcome guest
Where tea and tattle yield their zest.

Answer in Our Nomi.

 

  

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