AUTHOR OF Beadle’s Dime Novels No. 151—Ready June 3. ee a Se A, F BY. J. STANLEY. HENDERSON ‘“ KRARAIBO,’’ ‘' THE MAN IN GREEN,” “THE CHEROKEB CHIEF.” As he was about to leave the valley, he caught sight of a trail. which he at once proceeded to examine closely It had been made by moccasined feet, and was that of a small party of Indians, evidently on the war-path. | As it was quite a fresh trail, he followed it cautiously, until he heard'the neighing and stamping of a horse. He 2 Crept very went On a little further, until he saw the light of a firé, toward which he perceived six red-men, whom, from their dress as Camanches. carefully ting and lying about the fire, he ; their paint, he at once recognizec ——— = ~ seen aha acm AD OT Ie ek ————a i | 7 y § ' : BEADLE’S ae ; ‘\ t } ; h i i} j i HH i { ti & > i ae } { | 4 . ~ 4 qq - ee mT ad v Les es, -“. . -_ Wd s ILLUSTRATED, BEADLE AND COMPANY, "ai NEW YORK: 118 WILLIAM 8ST, LONDON: 44 PATERNOSTER ROW. EE alia | | | j i | 7 | \ j % Batered aceording to Act of Congress, fn the year 1880, DY IRWIN P BEADLE & GO., iu the Clerk’s O‘lice of the District Court of the United States for the Southern district of New York. . . Ss .. Svat ah AE SSS 8 ee, GRO BEADLE’S Dime Book of FE'wn. Wo. 2. a «< Ri YE ss \% WF YOUNG GUNNYBAGS IN THE COUNTRY. 1.—His first reception—rather demonstrative. SOME CELEBRATION, wa lwinsville, a town in Ohio, had ita VV ’ When Bal Atlantic Cable celebration, Artemus Ward, the fa- mous showman and world-renowned proprietor of _“wacks figgers” was on hand. Subsequently he fur- nished a report of the whole affair. If ”Pemus isto be trusted, the Baldwinsvillains had a great time. Hear him ! So or ra geben BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. “ Baldwinsville was trooly ee a blaze of glory. Near can i foregit the sublime spectacle which met my gase asi alited from. the sane with my. unibreller und verlise. The tarvern was lit up with taller kandles all over & a grate ‘bong fire was burnin in front thareof. A. Transpirancy was tied onto the sine-post with the follerin wurds ‘ Give us liberty or Deth, Old Tompkinsis grosery was illumernated with 5 tin lantuns and the following Transpirancy was in the winder: Tho Sub-Mershine Tellergraph & the pall linsville and Stonefield Plankroad—the 2 grate events of the 19th century—may intestine strife never mar their granjure. Simpkinsis shoe shop was all ablaze with taller kandles and lantuns. - A Amer- ican eagle was painted onto a flag in a winder, also these wurds, viz.—' The Constitooshun must be pre- sarved.’ The scool house was,lited up in grate style, and the winders was filled with mottohs, among which i notised the follerin— Truth smashed to earth shall rise agin, you can’t stop her.’ *'The.Boy stood on the burnin Deck when awl but him had fled’ ‘Prokrastination is the theaf of time.’ ‘Be virtuous and U wil B happy.’ ‘Intemperance has cawsed a héap of trouble—shun the Bole, and the follering sentment written by the skool master who gradju- ated at Harvard College. ‘ Baldinsville sends greetins to her madgisty the Kweene, & — all hard feel- ins which has before this pre viously r heretofore bin felt between the soupervis crs of Buldingyille an the Brittish parleymeant, if such there has been, may be forever afier this henceforward wiped from. our es- cutchaons, Baldinsville this night rejoices ever the gerlorious cyent which sementz two. grate nashuns onto one another by means of a electric wire under the roaring billoes of the Nasty deep. Quosque tastrum, a buttcr, Caterliny, patient nostrum, gow -nttapainn- seating iin ietigey erey mace SSO een ae { i ii YOUNG GUNNYBAGS IN THE COUNTRY. 7 | | ] ; { it ii } } t ti &- t 2.—His uncle takes him out for a walk round the farm. } een oe a2 Ramee ak leita pated f ; “ Doctor Hutchinsis offis was likewise lited up and « Transpirancy on which was painted the Kween in 1 . + ¢ ‘ . : the act of drinking some of Hutchinsis ee was stuck into one of the winders. The Baldinsville Beyewgle of Liberty newspaper offis was also illu- el mernated, and the follerin mottoes stuck out: ‘The + . press is the Arkenmejag. lever which moves. the | world. Vote early. Buckle on your armor... Now is the time to subscribe. Franklin, Moss & Feeld. Terms #1 50 a year. Liberal redueshuns to clubs.” DreEApFur STATE OF IGNoRANCE.—There is a man out West, who :abors under the delusion that “ Hon,” placed hefore a man’s name stands for honest. ; i | : j j F BHADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUR. BEARS IN ARKANSAS. Plenty ? I reckon they are. Black bars are big ger, plentiecr, and more cunnin’ in Arkinsaw than anywhere else. The he’s have @ way of standin’ on their hind legs, and makin’ a mark with their paws on the bark of some certain trees—generally sassa- fras. Its a kind a record they keep, and I ’spose it’s ® great satisfaction to an old he bar to have the high- est mark on the tree. I war layin’ hid one day close to a tree where bars war in the habit of makin’ their mark waitin’ for one of ’em to come along, for I tell you, I was mity hungry for bar meat. Directly I heard a noise close to me, and lookin’ round, burn me, stranger, ef thar wasn’t a small bar walkin’ straight on his hind legs, with a big chunk in his arms. I could ©’ shot him easy, but I was mighty curious to see what he was goin’ to do with that thar chunk. He carried it right to the tree where the marks were, stood it on the end against it, and then gitten on the top of it, reached away up the tree, and mad a big mark of a foot above the highest, He then got down, moved the chunk away off from the tree, and you never seen such caperin’ as hé cut up. He looked up at his mark, and then he would lay down and roll over in the leaves, laughing out- right, just like a person; no doubt tickled at’ the way somebody would be fooled. ‘There was some- thin’ so human about it that I actually hadn’t the heart to shoot him. Just to show you how cunnin’ bars are. I'll tell you ® circumstance what happened to me up in Ar- kinsaw, . You see, one fall before 1 gathered my corn, I kept missin’ it outer the field, and knew the bars war takin’ it, for I could see their tracks, What seemed mitey curious, I never could find out where a YOUNG GUNNYBAGS IN THE COUNTRY. ; } | | ; t 4 \ . wy : 8.—Introduces him io the pigs. they eat it—nary cob nowhar about. One mornin’ airly I happened around the field, and thar [ saw an ; old she bar and two cubs just come outer the corn. I was determined to find out what they did with so much corn, and follered along after ’em without makin’ any noise. Well, after going nearly a mile, I saw ‘em stop, and—stranger, what do you think— thar wur a pen full o’ hogs, and the bars were feedin’ ‘em. You see that fall the hogs wur so poor, on ac- count of havin’ no mash, that the bars had actually | built a rail pen, put the hogs in it, and were fattenin’ } ‘em with my corn, Burn my hat ef it ain’t a fact, A Dutehman being asked how often he shaved, replied: Dree dimes a week ; effery tay but Boontay; den I shaves effery day. a BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. ONE OF THE JUVENILES. Neighbor T—— had a social party at his house a few evenings since, and the “dear boy,” Charles, a five-year-old colt, was favored with permission to be seen in the parlor, “Pa” is somewhat proud of his boy, and Charles was, of course, elaborately gotten up for the occasion. Among other extras, the little fellow’s hair was trdated to a liberal supply of Eau de Cologne, to his huge gratification. As he entered the parlor, and made a bow to the gentlemen and ladies, he proudly said— “Lookee here, if any of you smells a smell, that’s me !” The effect was decided, and Charles, having thus in one brief sentence delivered an illustrative cssay on human vanity, was the hero of the evening. A PHONETIC PHANTASIE. A love scene—overboard, and phonographically reported by Phrederic Phine: “ Phairest of the phair,” sighed the lover, “ phancy my pheelings when [ phorsee the phearful conse- quences of our phieeing phrom your phather’s pham- ily. Phew phellows tould have phaced the music, with go much phortitude as I have; and as phickle phoriune phails to smile upon our love, I phind I must phorgo the pleasure of becoming your husband. Phair Phrances, pharewell phorever.” “Hold, Phranklin, hold !” screamed Phrances, “ I will phollow you phorever.” But Phranklin phied, and Phrances phainted. Lr SPOTS 8 SD, ee STEED YOUNG GUNNYBAGS IN THE COUNTRY. il — a A ao, ee recessful in tearing his pants and cutting his knees. WILL LAGER BEER INTOXICATE? A The sub-editor of the Book or run has been in- vestigating this much agitated question with some success. _ We purchased a quart of the beverage, and left it (very unwisely) under our desk while we went- to dinner. On returning, we found the sub some- what elevated, with his head in one of the pigeon- holes and his feet out of the window. “ What’s the matter ?” asked we, “ Beer,” said he, laconically. We looked at the bottle—it was empty. ‘We looked at him—he was full. “You don’t. mean to say you drank it all? asked we. ‘“ Wasn't much there,” said he. “There was a whole quart,” said we “A whole quart? replied our inebriated assistant—“ a ehole quart? Thunder! what—hic—what’s a quart —hie—amongst one? BEADLE’S DIME BOCK OF FUN. WHAT A FALL-ACY.’ Merchant—“ You are very late this morning, Mr ner do not let this happen again, sir.” Clerk (humbly)—* Very sorry, sir; met with a seri- ous fall.” Merchant (relentingly)—“ Ah! indeed, how was that? Hurt you much?” Cleré (respectfully)—“ Principally, my dear sir, in your estimation.” Merchant (kindly)}—“ Never mind that, Mr. Jinks— never mind that. Icommiserate you. We are all liable to accidents. How did you get your fall?” Clerk (confidingly)—“ You see, sir, I was called quite early this morning—in fact, you will observe, sir, : somewhat earlier even than usual.” Merchant (anderstandingly)“ Ah!” Clerk (with an effort)—“ But somchow or other,sir, I—I fell asleep again, sir.” Merchant(who, in spite of his gruffness, is fond of a joke)—Mr. Jinks, you’re a humbug! Go to your desk, and—don’t try it on again.” Tae Luckiest THInc In THE Worip.—Mr. Ingra- ham was sitting one day in the law library, looking up some authorities, when Mr. M , a young law- yer of some promise, but possessed. unfortunately, of an exceedingly unpleasant breath, suddenly made his appearance in great haste in search of a book that he needed immediately in the Court below, and pufied out : in broken sentences: “Oh—dear—Mr. Ingraham—I am—entirely out ‘ of breath.’ i “That is the luckiest thing that ever happened to you,” said Ingraham, and pursued his reading. e " . : BE TSE EST Te ETO, OT, GAEL ee YOUNG GUNNYBAGS IN THE COUNTRY. 13 | 5:—Retires to the orchard, where he is signally discomfited. 56 * WANT'S SIFTING. The following letter intended for the “retired physician whose sands of life,” &c., has found its Way into the newspapers: " + “Doctur h james.—I see by yure advartizement in : the nuzepapers that yure sands of life have neerly run cout. I had no idee sand was so skerce in yuré naiborhood, we have got a big iland up here about tew miles long where eny kwantity of sand can be dug up & it is cwsed very extenceve for bilding pur- pusses if You are most cout i would like to geta order to shipp yu sum more very chepe the sand is not so fine may bee as sum youve ceen, But if you Will blow im the nuzepapers and git the cdditurs te say it was good it wood do fast rait. Tow much wood yu ews ina yere and How mutch you wood 14 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN give a hogshed for it and you pay the frate ‘yours respectfully MW Bugg Sandern Nashville. P § whi-doant yu save the sand when it runs out and ews it agane. ™T! SCENE ON THE OHIO. ur boat stopped tu take in wood. On the shore among a crowd, was a remarkably. stupid-looking fellow, with his hands in his pockets, and his under lip hanging awn. A dandy, ce for ascrape, tipped nods and winks all about, saying: “Now Vlt-have some fun. Pi ‘fri rhten ie ereenborn.” He jumped ashore-with a drawn bowie knife,.and brandishing it in the face of the “ green ’un”—exclaimed—* Now Pll punish you; I haye been looking for you a week !” The fellow stared stupidly at the assailant. THe evi- dentiy had not sense enough to be scared—but as the bowie-knife came near to his face, one of his huge fists suddenly vacated his pocket, — fell hard and heavy between the dandy’s eyes, and the poor fellow was floundering in the Ohio! Greeny jumped on board our boat, put his hands in his pockets, and looked ee May be,” said he, “there’s some- body else here that’s been looking for me.a week ?” How THEY pO IT ovuT Werst.—An editor in Missouri annownces that the publication of his paper will be suspended for six weeks, in order that he may visit St. Louis with a load of bear-skins, hoop-poles, shingles, oa‘ bark, pickled catfish, &c., which he has taken for subscriptions He is bound to raise the “goap” on them. Lz] * YOUNG GUNNYBAGS tN THE COUNTRY. 15 ¢.~—Tired, he goes to bed and enjoys a charming slumber—+ but is pulled out of bed by the mosquitoes. A CANDID URCHIN. “What did your mother say, my little man? Did you give her my card!” asked an inexperienced young gentleman of a little boy whose mother had given him an invitation to call upon her, and whose strect-door was accordingly opened to his untimely summons by the urchin. “Yes, sir,” quoth the urchin, quite innocently ; “and mother said, if you were not a natural-born fool, you wouldn’t come on Monday mornin’ when everybody was a washin’ !”’ At this juncture mamma, with a sweet smile of welcome, made her appearance at the end of the hall, when to her surprise, Mr, Verysopht, the visitor, bolted | 16 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. “What in the world does the man mean? in quired ma. “T dunno,” replied the urchin; “guess he’s forgot suthin’.” A TOUCHING DITTY IN PROSE. When Seth got home from mackerelling, he sought his Sarah Ann, and found that she, the heartless one, had found another man. And then most awful tight he got, and so he went away, and bound himself to cnt live oak all down in Floriday. THe pined upon the live oak land, Ire murmured to the shades;' his ax grew heavy in his hand, all in the wild-wood glades, Mosquitoes bit him everywhere, no comfort did he get, and, oh, how terribly he’d scold whenever he got bit. At last despairing of relief and wishing himself déad, he went into the woods a piece, and chopped off his own head. An Usrrut Rrcerpr—Many persons complain of being pestered by bed-bugs. It is said that the in- convenience may be easily avoided, as follows: On going to bed, cover every partof your body with boiled ‘molasses. On coming to bite you, the bugs will stick fast-to the molasses, and you can kill them In the morning. A Pam or Catves.—Said Bill to Jack, “ How many legs would a calf have, calling the tail one? “ Five,” answered Jack. “Wo, it wouldn't,” said Bill; “for calling the tail ene wouldn’t make it so, would it ?” Jack slid, he did. YOUNG. GUNNYRBAGS IN THE. COUNTBY, 17 7.—Starts a battle with his buzzing enemies. A HANECDOTE OF AN ’ORSE. Billy Williams, the English comedian, now de- ceased, was one of the best-natured men alive, and although without cducation, a capital actor. Billy was'a regular cockney in his: conversation, and paid no attention to the rules of Murray’s Grammar. An amusing conversation between him and the late William E. Burton, is thus related by a friend of the parties: Dilly -sat in his usual seat, and was endeay- oring to make himself agreeable to those around him, Burton, who delighted in quizzing Billy, made some inquiries of him relative to a horse belonging to Mr. Hamblin, which aroused Billt, and he thus com- menced his reply: “Now, Burton, Ill teil you all about the’orse. You sec, when I first arrived, I said to.’Amblin, "Tom I wants an ‘arse. I have always 18 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN, been used to my ’orse, and I should like to ’ave one? ‘Billy,’ says he, you know Mazeppa; he has carned nw a great deal of money, and I will not permit him to be misused, but if you want to ride him you may, and my stage manager, Tom Flynn, will go with you to the stable. So down I goes to the stable with Tom Flynn, and I told the man to put the saddle on him.” —“*On Tom Flynn?” said Burton. ‘“ No, on the ’orse. And then I shook hands with him, and rode off.” “Shook hands with the horse, Billy ?” “No, d—n it, with Tom Flynn, and then rode up the Bowery, and w io should I meet in front of the Bow- ery Theatre but Tom ’Amblin.- So I got off, and told the boy to hold him by the.head.” “ Hold Hamblin by the head?’ “No, the ’orse, and then we went and had a drink together.’ “ You and the *orse ?” “No, me and’Amblin; and after that I mounted him again and went out of town.” “ Moun- ted Hamblin again?” “No, the ’orse, and when I got to Bainham’s, who should be there but Tom Flynn—he’d taken another ’orse and rode ahead of me, so I told the ostler to tie him up.” “Tie Tom Flynn upry ** No, d—n it, the ’orse, and we hada drink there.” ‘“ You and the horse?” “No, me and Tom Flynn. Now look here, Burton, every time I say ’Amblin, you say ’orse. Now I'll be’anged if LV tell you any more about it.” And he would not finish the recital. DaBBs MAKES A Pryt.—Friend Dabbs walked inte a “ dry frocery” the other day. “Can we do any thing for you ?” says Dickey. “ Yes,” says Dabbs, “ but I'll bet a dollar you won't.” “Done. _What is it ?” “Credit me for five dollars’ worth of your truck,” “Lost by thunder.” a YOUNG GUNNYBAGS IN THT COUNTRY. 19 $.~-Is again awakened with an impression the house is on fire, HOW THE QUAKER GOT THE BEST OF IT K- , the Quaker president of a Pennsylvania railroad, during the confusion and panic last fall, called upon the W—— bank, with which the road had kept a large, regular account, and asked for an extension of its paper falling due in a few days. The bank presi- dent declined rather abruptly, saying, in a tone com- mon with that fraternity: “Mr, K.; your paper must be paid at maturity, We cannot renew it.” “Very well,” our Quaker replied, and left the bank, But he did not let the matter drop here. On leaving the bank, he walked quietly over to the depot, and telegraphed all the agents and conductors on the road to reject the bills on the W——— bank. Ina few hours Se ee li chon 90 PLADLN’s DIME BOOK OF FUN the trains began to arrive, full of the panic, and bring. ing the news of distrust of the W+-—— bank all along the line of the road. Stockholders and deposit- ors flocked into the bank, making the panic, inquir- ing, “ What’s the matter?” ‘Is dio bank broke ?” A little inquiry by the officers showed that the trouble originated in the rejection of the bills by the railroad. The president seized his hat and rushed down to the Quaker’s office, and came bustling in with the inquiry: “Mr. K., have you directed the refusal of our cur- rency by your agents?” “Yes,” was the quiet reply. “Why is this? it will ruin us.” ** Well, friend L —, | supposed thy bank was about to fail, as thee could not renew a litile paper for us this*morning.” ; It isneedless to say Mr. L——~ renetved all the Quaker’s -paper and enlarged his line of dist¢ount, while the magic wires carried all along the road to cyery agent the sedative message, “The W bank is all right. Thee may take its currency.” VOT DE LEDGER SAYS. A COLORED DIALOGUE, Samuel Johnson.—Mr. Wite, does you eber dispill de exbresshun ob spirits wen you’s laborin’ under lus- ination ob carniverous detractions wid literary pus- soots ? Brudder Wite:-—Wha wh a’—wha’ dat ? &.70.=~+Do you ebber, Mr. Wite, read de magazines, de newspapers, and dem like searificators of de mens tallects? Jist you gib fo’ cents for de Ledger. I's bin a readin’ sich a putty story in da’, Sich a story, ee — YOUNG GUNNYBAGS IN THE COUNTRY. 21 MZ, PD ——— pj Z U, WF; Th V 9.—Gets up to see the sun rise, but changes his mind. Itwas jist de most interestinest dat cher was, and dat’s a fac done gone for sartain. B. W—Bound to hyar dar story Jist am, S. J—Nufto make a feller trimmle allober. Dem stories are allers so”harrerin. Law bless you, honey, dey claws you and scars you like a cat does de mice, » dat’s a-fac. Jist tink of a feller’s bein in a battle, killin’ all de enemy wid de hannie of an ole broom; catchin’ up de bloody willin ob a Fitz Clarum de Snor- tolio, un flinging him up more’n cleben miles. B. W.—Jis’—jis’—jis’ you. shut up. Yah! Who you spose gwine to b’lieve— S. J.—Dat’s wot de Ledger says, anyhow... Well in tuck one tremen- den, arter killin de willin, dé fell duous leap arter de flying foe from de gtmusfear, pintin his pistils at the treatin enemy wen de flints strike fiah in his volyer blowm up de_ percussion caps 22 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN, B. W.—Wa-wat dat? How could a volver pistil hab flints an percussion caps, too? 8S. J—Anyhow, dat’s “ebait de Ledger says.» Well den de feller got participated in de briny deep. B. W.—Wy don’t you say de ocean ? J.—Kase he didn’t fall into de ocean. 'Twas into de briny deep. Anyhow, dat’s wot de Ledger says. Well den arter dat de sun cums into his eyes, an he git blind an swim for foteen thousand miles— B. W.—Oh, shaw. You git out. Who—who’s a vine to swaller dat? Blind man swim foteen thou- iad miles. Yah, yah, yah. 8. J.—(nettled.) Dat’s wot de Ledger says, any- how. Well, den,.de chap cums to a dessert island wha dar wasn’t nuffin to eat, un nobody to tauk to ob any consequense; un no siety wuf mentionin, un dar - libs for foteen years. B. W.—S8ee hyar. Just tell us _ that man lived for Te en years with nuffin to e: . d.—Dat’s wot de Ledger says, anyl Well den, de man’s true lub whot he hadn’t seen for nine- teen years— B. W.—Now—now, how you goin to tell me any gal ’mained true for nineteen years, an she neber seed 9 ae man in de whole time? . J.— Well dats wot de Ledger says; and de cha he started one mornin for to swim after a eat kase he seed hes sweetheart abod up in de riggin, You see she’d gon to see dispised as a sailer, B. W.—Sguised, you mean. S. J—Yes, yes—skized, dat’s wot de Ledger says, An only think, it shos jis wot true love kin do, an ain’t it wondful now, and dats jis a fac—dat gal jis went an dressed hersilf up in sailor clothes and dcre Wasn't won sole abord—ner der captain neither, didn’t know she was a gal YOUNG GUNNYBAGS IN THE COUNTRY. 23 TTT . VUVVVYTETTV ENTE lo.—And being already tired of his visit, writes a letter te » himself that his wife 1s dead. BL. W.—How de debbel, den, did dat chap dar way off on de deseret islan kno who she was, hey? Splanify dat, if you please. 8S. J—Well, dat’s wots de Ledger says. And de chap he jumps into de se to swim to de wessel, but jis den dere sprung up a tremendjus gale, an’ washed him off eber so fur, till he cums to de foot ob a forty- fiedication, and kase it was arter dark an’ de front do’ was shut, he jist climed up to one ob de cannins an’ crep into de mouf of de cannin, and lay down an’ went to sleep. B. W.—Now stop dar. I should jis like to hab you expressify to me how a man’s gwain to git into de mouf ob de cannin ? S. J-—Well, dat’s wot de Ledger says: An wile he was asleep, dere cum on a war in de night ’tween de twe countries, and de canning were al! flahed off { } { | sor meme ati x aa 24 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. B. W.—Wot!! Wid de man in em; S. J—Dat’s wot de Ledger says. And he got shoot- ed back into de werry dientical island agin. ‘Well, durin de night de ship had got racked, and eberybody- got drownded cept de gal, and she swum asho and cum to where de feller lay soun asleep. B. W.—Now you mean to say dot dat feller hadn’t got waked up when he was fired from de can- nin an fell on de islan ? S. J.—Dat’s wot de Ledger says—neber woked up at all; and de gal she seed her lubber and grate big tears cum in her eyes, un she creeped up eber so sofly and layed down by his side, and jis put her put- ty wite arms roun his neck an was jis goin to kiss him, wen all at wunst— B. W.—Well, go on, go on! 8S. J.—Dar it says, “To becontinyed,”—dats wot de Ledger says. “MIS'ABLE NIGGER.” My friend asked Anthony Box, a superb engine- driver on the Ohio river, how he came to get free, “Why, Massa Vincent, my health was berry bad when I was in Kentucky, I couldn’t do no kind ob work; I was berry feeble; ’twas jes as much as I could do to hoe my own garden and eat de sass} and de missus what owned me see dat I was a mis’able 1igger—one of the mis’ablest kind. So I said to her, “ Missus, I’m a mis’able nigger, and I ain’t worth noth- in, and I think you'd better sell me, ’m_ such a mis- able nigger.” Now Massa, Vincent, I was such a poor nigger, that Missus ’greed to sell me for a hun- dred dollars, and I ’greed to try to work and earn de money to pay her, and I did, and my health has been gittin’ better ebber since, and I ’specks I made ‘bout ning hundred dollars dat time out of that nigger.” GOUNG GUNNYBAGs ry Tre CétN try, 25 11.—And greatly astonishes his host thereby. A APPEEL FOR ARE TO THE SEXTANT OF OUR MEETINOUSE, O Sextant of the meetinouse, wich sweeps And dusts, or is supposed too! and makes fiers, And lites'the gass, and sumtimes leaves a screw loose, in wich case it smells orful—worse than lampile; And wrin¢zs the Bel and toles it when men dyes to the grief of survivin pardners, and sweeps pathes ; And for the servases gits $100 per annum, Wich them that thinks deer, let em try it; retin up befoar star-lite i all wethers and Kindlin fiers when the wether is as cold As zero, and like as not grean wood for kindlers; i wouldn’t be hired to do it for no some— But o Sextant! there are 1 kermoddity, Wich’s more than gold, wich doant cost nothin, a 26 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. Wuth more than anythin excep the Sole of Mann! i mean pewer Are, Sextant, i mean pewer Are ! O it is plenty out o dores, so plenty it doant no What on airth to dew with itself, but flys about Scaterin leaves and bloin off men’s hatts; in short, its jest “fre as are” out dores,— 3ut Oo sextant, in our church its scarce as piety, ‘ "7 . : scarce as bank bills when agints beg migschuns, Wich some say is party often, (taint nothin to ma, wat I give aint nothin to nobody) but o Sextant, ushet 500 men, wimmen, and children, Speshally the latter, up in a tite place, Bai some has bad breths, none ain’t 2 swete, Some is fevery, some is serofilus, some has bad teath, And some ain’t none, and some ain’t over cleen; But every 1 on em breethes in & out and out and in, Say 50 times a minit, or 1 million and a half breths an. our, Now how long will a churcli ful of are last at that rate, I ask you, say 15 minits, and then wat’s to be did ? Why then they must brethe it all over agin, And then agin, and so on, till each has took it down, At least 10 times, and let it up agin; and wats more, The same individible don’t have privelidge of brethen his own are, and no one’s else; Zach one mus take watever comes to him, O Sextant, doant you no our lungs is belluses, To blo the fier of life, and keep -it from goin out; and how can bellusses blo without wind, And aint wind are? i put it to your conschens, Are is the same to us as milk to babies, Or water is to fish, or pendlums to clox— ; Or roots and airbs unto an reer Doctor, Or little pils unto an omepath, RE RRM oo mT ——————— YOUNG GUNNYBAGS IN TIO COUNTRY. 27 | | i ' > ; i 1 : { | . H t | jt | | 12.—Who gives him his dlessing at parting, and a specimen ; j or two of produce. : i ; Or boys to gur!s. Are is for us to brethe | e ’ ' Wat signifies who preeches if i cant breethe ? | | Wats Pol? Wats Pollus? to sinners who are ded ? . Ded for want of breth? why Sextant when wo dye Its only coz we cant brethe no more—that’s all ; And now, 9 Sextant, let me bee of you | : ’ ’ > f 2 let a little are into our church.— | (Pewer are is serten proper for the pews)— { And do it weak days and Sundays tew— It aint much trouble—only make a hole, | And the are vill cum in of itself } : ; ; ; ; (ft luvs to come in whare it can get warm ); i And o how it will rouze the people up And sperrit up the preccher, and stop garps, v. ? And yawns and fi¢ggits as effectooal As wind on-the dry Boans the Proflit tells of i ls 7 a re 23 BEASDLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. THE BEST OF THE TWO. A farmer and his son Hans having been to market in the next town, and disposed of their load of pota- toes, got ready to return home. The farmer laid himself comfortably down and commenced sleeping while Hans droye the wagon. Soon Hans commenced thinking about the big peas and pork his mother had promised to keep for him until his return, smatked his lips and drove the hor- ses faster. The old man lifted himself upon his elbow and ex- claimed : “Hans, don’t drive them horses so fast. They had a good full load this morning,” and laid himself down and snoozed again. A little time the horses were driven slower, then again Hans thought of the pork and peas, and ima- gining that the old man was asleep, whipped up the horses at full speed. The old man set up in the wagon a second time, and exclaimed: “Hans, how many times do you want me to tell you not to drive them horses so fast! Oh, boy, ifI would have done so with my father!” “The devil of a father you must have had,” replied Hans. “What!” cried the father. “Boy, I had a.darned sight better father than ever you had.” oe , n oe Fat Turkres.—Muggins says, Job’s turkey was fat compared with am old gobbler he shot last week on the North Fork—it was so light that it lodged in the air, and he had to get. a pole to knock it down, . . | | Me ea 5 2 Pn a tr BEADLD’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. ‘29 c Mechanical Power—Accelerated Motion. REEFING THE BREAKERS. A NAUTICAL POEM. (Little as we know of sailor terms we consider the following “pome” a gem.—Ep.) The larboard leech of the topsail lines, Athwart the spritsail rigging runs; The lanyard bows of the helm inclines To the win’urd lurch of the fok’sail guns, The look-out boy at the tom-cat-heads Espies on the watery waves a sail ; And the captain, as the galley he treads, Calls up all hands to reef the gale. The starboard rail blocks home are tack’d, The binnacle close-reefed round is brought a scent tel a tt at a a OS 80 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN, The foretop capstan clewline’s back’d } To the prow of the bobstays, there made taut. : i The skipper'is heard from the gallant topmast, ; Through the close tarred helm-sheets comes the : ery, “Man the lee scuppers! all hands avast’! | Tack spars! reef breakers! all stand by. Hl “Let go and reef, put your galley alee, ; i Take a tack in the mizzen-mast, quick, belay !” i *T was done, and the bulwarks once more free, ; Swung round till they tauten’d the main backstay. The dogwatch windlass abaft the caboose Was brought three points to the deadlight bow, ! And once more the ship, from the portholes loose, | Flung her jib by the buntlines over her prow. Her broadside now to the mainsail las, The grog’s served out in the spanker boom ; The breaker’s reef’d to the gang plank ways, And again the stern sheets find sea room. I Tlie thunders flash and the lightnings roar, The squall flies rushing from clew to clew; But the cat headmate goes aloft once more, To lower the wheel to the eager crew. 4+ All hands ashore to luff the cleats !” And the lead is launched by the bardalee; The pilot is haul’d on the fore back sheets, And the fok’sail glides on the slacken’d sea, Oh, dauntless crew ! oh, galliant ship ! May you ever survive the loo’wrd haul! May Neptune's figure-head bless your trip, And reefing the breakers end the squall, samen FE SS eapiatioam bil 5x5 So ee a OTE } i} i i BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. 81 % 390 ] | al — . OLEN =| [ee | " |= = | 32 Bsr ed ¥' | & PT we, a £ ‘ , ; f R ia ie al a ai Noga Si can aati AN ARKANSAS “NOATIS.” In a recent tour through one of the wildest and most sparsely-settled regions of Arkansas (says 4 cor- : respondent of a New York paper), I arrived at the ferry on the Cache River. A little log-house grocery t stood on the near bank, about fifteen steps from where the flat lay tied to a snag in the edge of the } water, Several bear-skins, deer-skins, and coon-skins were nailed up to dry against the walls of the groce- ty, but the dogr was closed, andno bar-keeper, ferry- i man, or other person, was in sight, I hallooed a 2 the top of my voice some half a dozen times, but no ; one answered. Seeing an advertisement on the door, 4 I read as follows: \ “ Noatis.— Ef enny boddy cums hear arter licker, ‘" +3 rr : 1.36 l : . or to get Akross the River, They can ges blo This here i $9 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN, Horne, and ef i don’t cum when my wife Betsey up at the House heares the Horne a bloin shele cum down an sell the licker or set em Akross the River ime gonine a Fishin no credit a whem ime away from Hloeme john. wilson N B. them that cant rede will heve to go too the houes arter Betsey tant but half a mile thar.” In obedience to the “ Noatis,” Itook the blowing horn, which stuck in a crack of the wall close by the door; I gave it a “toot” or two, which reverberated far round through cane and swamp, and in a few minutes was answered by a voice scarcely less loud and reverberating than that of the horn—it seemed to be about half a mile up the river—and in about fifteen minutes a stalwart female made her appearance, and asked iff wanted “licker.” No, madam ; I wanttocross the river, if you please.” “Don’t ye want some licker fust ?” “No, madam—don’t drink—never touch liquor.” “Never tech licker? Why, then; you must be a preacher, an’t you?” “No, madam, I’m only a son of temperance. I Wish to gct across the river, if you please—do yow' row the boat ?” “Oh, yes; Ican take ye over in less than no time, Fetch up yer hoss.” I obeyed, asking, as I led the horse into the boat, “Did your husband write that advertisement on the door there ?” ‘No, sir-eo! Schoolmaster Jones writ that. Jolin hain’t got no larnin !” An . the good woman rowed the oat safely across the ugly stream; and handing her the ferriage fee, I bade aoe good morning believing then (as I still do) that she was one of the happiest women and best wives I ever saw, perfectly contended with lier lof, because she knew no better. BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. Ee Anatomy. Pej : — MU-LASSES BY MEAS "RE. “Good morning, Mr. Perkins; have you ,sone excellent mu-lasses ?” “No, ma’am, our excellent mulasses arc all out, but we have some fine old St. Tlamingo, some New Orleen, some West Engine, and a sort of mu-lasses which is made from maple suger, and which we call seeryup.” “Want to know, Mr. Perkins, if this seeryup is acterly made from maple sugar.” “T pledge ta my _woed of honor, Mrs. Hornby, that it is acterly made from the ginuine bird's .cye maple suger.” “Then, Mr. Perkins, I shall not interrogatory any more, but without further cir FouMOS ution, proceed to purchase half a pound of seeryup.” | | | . . 84 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUR. “Beg pardon, Mrs. Hornby, we don’t sell it by weight, but by measure.” “Oh! by measure? thenI will take half a yard !” WERRY REDICKLUS. A Western man, whose wife and nine children were murdered by the Indians one day during his absence, on his return sat deeply affected, but silent, among the corpses, until a neighbor, by speaking ten- derly to him of his great loss, produced an outburst of feeling, “ Yes,” he exclaimed, making up his face for “a cry”—“ Yes, it are the most redicklus thing that ever happened to me in all my life.” t DOWN ON THE IRISH. A friend of ours, who has a particular aversion to Hibernian Biddies, recently put the following adver- | tisement in the Herald. He wanted a new girl, and did not like to make invidious mention of the Irish name: WanTeEpD ina gentleman’s family—as cook, washer, and ironer—a German, Hungarian, Russian, French, Swedish, Italian, Bohemian, Finnish, Circassian, Armenian, Swiss, Scotch, Spanish, Turkish, Grecian, Austrian, Norwegian, Kamschatkan, African, Malay, Hottentot, Prussian, English, Ameriean, IJeelandic, Dutch, Portuguese, Corsican, Australian, or Egyptian girl. ‘None other need apply. A western editor says that “a child was run over } by a wagon three years old, and cross-eyed, with pan- talets on, which never spoke afterward.” “sy BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. & Mechanical Power—The Wheel and Axle. A WONDERFUL LIAR. An Englishman traveling on the Mississippi, told some rather tough stories about London thieves. A Cincinnati chap named Case heard these narratives with a silent but expressive humph, and then re- marked that he thought the Western thieves beat the London operators all hollow. “How so?” inquired the Englishman, with sur prise. “ Pray, sir, have you lived much in the West?” “Not a great deal. I undertook to set up business at the Des Moines Rapids a while ago, but the rascal ly people stole nearly every thing I had, and finally 9 Welsh miner ran off with my wife.” “ Gracious!” said the Englishman, “and have you never found her?” “Never to this day. But that was not the worst of it” 86 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. “Worst! . What could be worse than stealin man’s wife ?” “Stealing his children, I should say,” said the im- placable Case * Children ?” “Yes, a nigger woman, who had none of her own, abducted my youngest daughter, and sloped and joined the Injuns.” “Did you see her?” “See her? Yes. She hadn’t ten rods the start of me; but plunged into the lake and swam off like a duck, and there wasn’t a canoe to follow her with.” The Englishman leaned back in his chair, and called for another mug of ’alf-and-’alf, while Ca sae sip es — cigar. “T shan’t go any further West, I think,” at lengt! observe: 1 th 1c excited John Bull. “T should quietly. . “J to leave, alt country.” “What business was he in, pray ?” “Lumbering—had a saw-mill.’ “And they stole his lumber?” “Yes, and his saw-logs, too.” “Saw-logs !” “Yes; whole dozens of black-walnut logs were ise not. advise any one to go,” said Case, but he had 10ugh his business was the best in the ly brother ence lived there spirited off or carried away in a single night. True ; upon my honor, sir. - He tried every way it; had men hired to watch his logs, but use Tl “i would up Wwiem &\ : there had been nobody there. They would. steal them out of the cove and even out of the : £6 “Good gracious ! “Just to give you an idea how they stcal out there,” $e a BEADLE‘'S DIME BOOK OF FUN. 87 Ing company, “just te 1?" sending a sly wink to th give you anidea—did youever work ina saw-mil “ Never.” “ Well, one day, my brother bought an all-fired fine black-walnut log,—four feet three at the butt, and not a knot in if. He was determined to keep that log anyhow, and hired two canny Scotchmen to watch it all night. Well, they took a small pemijohn of whis- . h them, snaked the log up the side of the hill above the mill, built a fre, and then sat down to play keerds, just to keep them awake, you see. “Twasa monstrous big log—bark two ‘ali $ thick, Well, ag I was saying, they played keerds ard dronk wh ick cy vai all night, and as it began to grow light, went a-strad- dle of the log. A minute after daylight George went over to the mill to sec how they were getting on, and the log wsa gone!” as } | j 4 t ——— oe 838 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN: “What were the Scotchmen doing ?” “Sitting on the bark. The thieves had drove an iron wedge into the butt-end, which pointed down hill, and hitched a yoke of oxen on and pulled it right out, leaving the shell, and the Scotchers sitting a-straddle of it, fast asleep !” The Englishman here rose, dropped his cigar stump into the spittoon, looked at his watch, and said he thought he’d go on deck and see how far we'd be down the river before morning. , SELLING AN OFFICER. Not a bad joke is told of one of the New York night inspectors. It happened a few evenings since, shortly after the wharf watch was set, that a plain- looking countryman was seen to leave a brig lying at pier No. 6, with a suspicious-looking bundle in his hands. It was a large package and a heavy one, and the stranger tugged along slowly up the pier with it, and turned the corner, sweating uncer his load. “Ahal my fine fellow,” ejaculated the lynx-eyed inspector—a sharp-set official by the way; “aha! I’ve got you this time!” he said: “Good evening. Let me relieve you of that load, my friend.” “Eh,” responded the man uneasily. “Tl take that bundle, if you please.” “Thank you,” “Tt’s heavy, isn’t it?” said the officer. “Yaas, Which way you goin’, nabur?” and approaching the countryman, “Oome along—-it’s allright; Dll take care of this-' come on!” BOOK OF FUN, BEADLE’S DIME ty Fine Arts—Drawing. — n—n— Sl “Edzactly—much obliged, It’s tarnal heavy, an I’ve got to get it up to the Howard House.” “Come along,” continued the officer, knowingly ; “we'll see about that!” and in a few minutes they reached the Howard; when the stranger observed that the inspector had no idea of haltin, ’ “Hollo! which way, friend? I’m stopping here.” said the countryman. “Tt’s no matter, I've seized this property, and you ean explain matters at the Custom-House to-mor- row,” continued the shrewd inspector, “Tuk here, friend! Not tew fast, if yew please. I've paid my dooties on that ‘ere lot o’ goods, Jest you look at this neow,” and he drew forth a bit of paper from his yest pocket, signed by the Collector, “Why, you scamp!” said the inspector, “this is a . -~ - SS | 40 BEADLE’S DIMM BOOK OF FUN. permit for your goods! Why didn’t you show this before ?” “Why, in the fust place, you didn’t ask me tew; and, in the next place, ef I had, you’d seen me break my back afore you’d ha bro’t that bundle clear up here for me, I know !” The inspector blowed his nose, and, cursing the countryman for a fool, turned down Pine-street in- stanter, to resume his lonely round. The stranger put his parcel in the charge of the servant, and grinned a ghastly grin, as the over-zealous watchmay departed. RAISING THUNDER WITH THE “WACKS WORX.” The following isa letter written by Artemus Ward, from his seclusion in the bosom of his family, and contains a touchine reminiscence ofa former “ bender” : “Vfear in the Buzzum of my famerly i am enjoyin myself, at peas with awl mankind and the wfmmin folk and take a little old Rye fur the stummucks sake, but s likewize. I go down to the villiage ockashunly i avoid spiritus lickers ag a gineral thing. No man evir seen me intossikated but onct and that air hap- pind i Pittsburg. A parsel of onery cusses in that mizzerable sity busted inter the hawl durin the nite and aboosed my wax works shamful. I dident ob- sarve the outrajus transachuns ountil the next evenin wlien the peple begun for to kongrezate. Suddinly they kommenced fur two larf and holler in a rious “stile. Sez i good peple whats up? Sex thay thems grate wax worksisnt they old man? I immejit- ly looked up ter where the wax works was and my blud biles as i think of the site which them met my a inated SRE EE ne ce BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. 41 —— _ Law—Entailed Property. Gaze. I hope two be dodrabbertid if them afoursed rascals hadn’t gone and put a old kaved in hat onter George Washington’s hed and shuvd a short black klay pipe inter his mouth. His nose they had paint- sip 4 ed red and his trowsis legs they had shuvd inside his butes. “My wax figger of Napoleong Boneypart was like- wise maultreatid, his sword was danglin tween his legs, his cocked hat was drawn klean down over his ize and he was plased in a stoopin posishun lookin zactly as tho he was as drunk as a biled owl, Gineral Taylor was standin on his hed and Wingfield Skott’s koat tales ware pined over his head and his trowsis ware compleetly torn orf frum hisself My wax works representin the Lords Last Supper was likewise aboozed. Three of the Postles ware under the table 42 BEADLE’S DIME BooK OF FUN. and two of um had on old tarpowlin hats and ragged pee jackits and ware smokin pipes. Judus Iskarriot had on a cocked hat and was apparently drinkin at a bottle of whiskey sot befor him. This ere spectercal was too much fur me. i klosed the show and then drownded my sorrers in the flowin Bole. “Probly ile rite you agin befour i take my depar- ture on the Summer kampain. Very respectfully Yures, ArtTemus Warp, T. K. DAD MORTON’S WAY OF RAISING CHICK- ENS BY THE BARREL-FULL. “T tell ye, (said Old Dad Morton,) them ancestors of ourn didn’t do nothin’ halfway. But, there’s an awful fallin’ off sence them times. Why, in my time, when I was a boy, things went on more economical than now. We all worked. My work was to take care of the hens and chickings (Dad is famous for his handling of the alphabet), and I'll tell yer how I raised ’em. You know I’se a very thinkip’ child, al’as a thinkin’ cept when I’se asleep. Well, it come on me one night to raise a big lot of chickings from one hen; and I'll tell ye how I did it. I took an old whiskey barrel and filled it with fresh eggs, and then put it on the south side of the barn, with some dung and ma- nure around it, and then set the old hen on the bung- hole. The old critter kept her sittin, and in three weeks I heard a little‘ peep.’ Then I put my ear to the spiggot, when the peeping growed like a swarm of bees. I didn’t say any thing to the folks about the hatchin’, for they’d all the time told me I was a fool, but the next morning I knocked the head out of the barrel, and covered the barn floor, two deep, all over, a BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN, 4 —=——__._—_ Phrenology—Adhesiveness. ag Pea in ep eaie ae. with lit 2 chickings. Now, you may laugh as much as you ; jease, but it’s true.” HER. SHARE OF LETTERS. There is a new town out in the North-West, called Barton (contract of Beartown), At this point a post- office has been established; the route extends some distance beyond, and there are several offices further on, Soon after the establishment of the office at Barton, the postmasters beyond began to be troubled by a strange irregularity in the mails. This week one thing would be missing, the next week some other package be non est; and quite often letters for B. would have to be sent back. This state of affairs became unenduruble, and Agent Hall was sent op to SS A 44 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. investigate the matter. He went straight to Barton, where he found the post-office in the back room of a little grocery. It was about time for the mail to ar- rive, and he took a seat in the grocery, where a plump and good-natured woman, well in years, and possessed of a “rich brogue.” attended behind the counter dealing out small quantities of beer, cheese, cakes, peanuts, etc. etc. to a company of loungers, who seemed to wait for some event. Hall bought a quantity of peanuts, and treated the crowd to beér, by which course he succeeded in re- moving all suspicions which his decent garbhad crea- ted against him, Soon the stage drove up, the small bag was thrown out; the lady picked it up, and retreated to the back room, followed by the crowd—including Hall, who blocked up the door. After opening the bag, and turning its contents on the floor, the postmistress produced a box, and delib- erately proceeded to measure out a peck of miscel- lancous matter from the pile on the floor, Having done this, she commenced returning tne rest, when Hall found his tongue. “Why, what are you doing there?’ he contriyed to stammer out, “Tndade,” said the postmistress changing the mail that I am,” “But how do you know that you get the right matter? Why don’t you look it over and select your own ?” , looking up “it’s “Faith an’ it’s a fool’s job you'd be afther havin’ me do,” replied her leddyship. ‘I can’t read niver a blessed bit of ritin’, and when my son Jim (he’s had school larnin’) isn’t here I jest measures out about our sheer, an? we divides ’em.” PX BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. 45 Literature—A Chinese Tail. —_— Wett ANswerep.—An Trish veterinary student being asked, when under examination, what he would recommend if there was a horse brought to him with a particular disease, replied, “Och, by the powers, I'd recommend the owner to get rid of him immedi- ately.” Dipn’t Count on THAT.—“ How are you, count ?” said a wag to a spruce-looking specimen of the genuine snob. “Sir,” exclaimed the indignant swell, “who are you, and why do you call me a count ?” “Why, I saw you counting oysters in New York ast week, and I supposed you were of royal blood,” said the wag. Bnob vamrsed. BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN, “AND THO I LET HIM.” A school-teacher relates’ the following amusing in- cident. One day I saw a little fellow with his arms around a witch of a girl, endeavoring, if I interpreted the manifestation right, to kiss her. “Tommy,” said I, “what are you doing there ?” “Nothing, sir,’ spoke the bright-eyed little witch ; “he wath trying to kith me, that he wath, ther,” and eyed him keenly. “Why, Lucy, what prompted him so ungent]eman- ly, right here in school?” I asked, anticipating some fun, “Oh, he hitched up here and wanted me to kith him, and I told him I wouldn’t kith sucha thathy boy ath he ith; then he thed he'd kith me, and I told him he darthn’t; but: he thed he would do it, and I told him I would tell the mathery if he did, but he thed he didn’t care a thump for the mather, and then he tried to kith me hard ;” and the little thing sighed, “Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you could?” I asked, in a pleasant manner. “Ob,” she replied, with a naivete, I did not often sec, “I didn’t eare much if he did kith me, and tho I let him.” Here the whole school, which had been listening attentively, broke out into an uproarous laugh, while our little hero and heroine blushed deeply. or fellow that won't give them ~—’s to their heart’s content, ought to have his II put out & + besides,—American Sentinel, We are sure no * in this § would refuse ~~4a lady when ? The above § J are without a jin the history of typography, and the men who indited them should be drowned in CC of ++ and tt, and have their II thrown in the quoin box by the same {3 (Gy that exposed the No 0’s, and attempted to put a. to their ove. —dersey City Sentinel. Our devil says: “If it was winter time, and I could; she might-call at my room. I’dlike to.—— her till she saw **, and then I should like to take her (3™ and gaze into her II, and 0 should prevent me from . : | a 64 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN, ——ing into her arms.” This! startled us, He’s the greatest coon for making love and getting half CC over in this § h’s = can’t be found by several °°, We will bet a $ on that, and if we lose, will £ his head for another {.—Zx. A KISS THAT DIDN'T PAY. The Toledo “Record” gets off a good ono in ree gard to acitizen of Iowa, whose wife, in his absence, had been kissad by a drover, while giving a glass of water. When he heard of the outrage, he started at once in pursuit, found the drover after a bard day’s ride, and accused him of the theft. The drover admitted the truth of the soft impeach- ment, said he had been sometime from home; was sorely tempted and in an unguarded moment of frenzy purloined the kiss—but that he had not damaged the woman in the smallest particle—was very sorry—= thought it was no matter to make a great ado about, and begged to be excused. The husband finally concluded that this was the right view of the matter, and agreed to settle it upon the receipt of five dollars for his day’s ride. This being satisfactory, the drover handed over a ten-dol- lar bill, and received five dollarsin change. But when the aggrieved Benedict returned home and consulted his Detector, he found the bill a counterfeit. He found he had suffered the indignity of having his wife kissed by a “nasty drover,’ passed one day in the saddle, and lost five dollars, and concluded it didn’t pay. EN, peer “With all thy faults I love thee still,” as the man sud to his wife when she was giving him a curtain lecture. “a BRADLE'S DIME BOOK OF FEN. 55 ¢ —= = —., i Firmness. E diss. cicilicadend shades. .dxia-deanlec mamas a . SPECIMEN OF A LETTER FROM A BOARDING. SCHOOL MISS. “Deer Mar,—I am now being teached the spanesh langwage! which my Tuteor says I learn it with grate fasility, ive improved amasinly in the english sints ive been here! ispeak and rite the real new stile now? and my compasishons are being wery much admired among the pupils of the school, I come within won of getting the medle for bein the best eng- lish scholar, at the clothes of the last quarter, ana i shood a done it, but! Iwas Bein sick a bedd, and couldn’t attend to my studies—for a hole weak? and so I got bechyndand: by the buy, Mar! (what shokin bad english you do right?) ime ashamed to sho yewr leters to any of the missessess among my akwaiutan- eine - St st esis oilseed 56 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. ces for instents you sa wile the te wotter was bileing the other day etceterah and so forth now yew should say wile the te wotter was bein bilte—par too? rites just as inkorrekly for instents he seys in his letter french guds are falling verry fast insted of saying french goods are bein fell. ime reeally chocked that you and hee don’t keep paice with the march of modem improvement but ime being called this min- nit to excite my spanesh lesson, so i must wind orf “JT supperscribe myself your affectionate dawtur. Mimanpa MAcKERREL.” A SUFFICIENT REWARD. In France the Society for the Protection of Ani- mals does not enjoy that popular respect which it de- serves, the small wits of the capital indulging in end- less jokes at its expense. The last joke is to this & effect: A countryman, armed with an: immense club, presents himself before the president of the Society, and claims the first prize. He is asked to describe the act of humanity on which he founds his claim. “T saved the life of a wolf,” replied the country- man. “I might casily have killed him with this blud- geon, and he swings his weapon in the air to the in- tense discomfort of the president.” “But where was this wolf?” inquires the latter, “what had he done to you?” “TTIe had just devoured my wife,” is the reply. The president reflects an instant. and then says, “My friend, I am of opinion that you have been sufli- ciently rewarded.” BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. on Knik 04 ine 5 Sahih atl li SKING LEAVE TO GAPE. | The New Haven Register tells this good one* A few nights since, owing to an accident, the Spring- ficld train did not reach Hartford until late, and in consequence, those swaiting its arrival at the station, had a tedious time of it. Among them was a demure- looking Yankee, inclined to have a nap—fixing his feet on the upper round of his chair, he leaned back against thé wall, and “went at it.’ He was not fair- ly under way, however, when he was tapped on the { , 7 7 . . one of the officials, and told that “sitting up rs not allowed in the dep¢ 4 . : . ; sc %% jaculated the astonished sleeper, “no sit- J ting up and sleeping ?” “No, sir—agin the rules of the company,” said official a ace—eates aS 58 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. “Well, I declare,” replied the other, ‘this is a mean place! Won't you ask the company if I mayn’t gape ;” following up his query with a “ stretch” that put the officious official to instant flight. DECIDEDLY DUTCH. An old Dutch farmer, just arrived at the dignity of Justice of the Peace, had his first case of marriage. He did it up in this way. He first said to the man: “Vell, you vants to be marrit, do you? Vell, you lovesh dis voman go goot as any. voman you have ever seen ?” “Yes,” answered the man, Then to the woman; “Vell, do you love dis man so betterish goot as any man you have ever seen ?” She hesitated a little, and he repeated. “Vell, vell, does you like him so vell ash to be hig vife ?” “Yes, yes,” she answered. “Vell; dat ish all dny reasonable man could expect. So you ish marrit. I pronounce you man and vife.” The man asked the Justice what was to pay. “Nothing at all, nothing at all... You are velcome, if it do you any goot.” TrLEcraruic.—Two Irishmen were recently look- ing at a knot of people stretching & rope across the street from one housetop to another, for the suspen- sion of a banner. Pat—“Shure, an’ what will they be after doin’ at the tops of them houses ?” Mike—“ Faix, an’ it’s 9 submarine telegraph they're +MY puttin’ up, 1 am thinkin’. BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. 89 fal ; Alimentiveness. a ‘ rine Oh! then they come flattering, ! i Soft nonsense chattering; | Praising your pickling, YP) ry . ’ ’ 1 : o vine 4 tekline riaying abl vit kling, Love-verses writing, ‘ Acrostics inditing. yh If your fingers ache, fretting; ay Fondling and petting, a “My loving,” “my doving,” if “Pet eying,” ““ wetseying ;” i Now sighing, now dying, i Now dear diamonds buying, 4 Or yards of Chantilly, a Like a great big silly; i Cashmere shawls, : iW Brandy balls, Oranges, apples, 4 ee : 1 aliens al re | \ BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. KILKENNY CATE Combativeness. Gloves, gros de Naples, Sweet pretty “ skuggies,” Ugly pet puggies; Now with an ear-ring Tiiemselves endearing, Or st{iandering guineas Upon Sevignes? Now fingers squeezing, Or playfully teasing, Bringing you bulls-eyea, Casting you sheep’s-eyes; Looking in faces, While working braces; Never once heeding What they are reading, But soiling one’s hose este ae — Tae — er anne = ee Ss aS nen tem BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. By pressing one’s toes ; Or else so zealous, And nice and jealous Of all the fellows, Darting fierce glances, If ever one dances With a son of France’s ; Or finding great faults, And threatening assaults ‘Whenever you “ valtz ;” Or fuming and fussing Enough for a dozen, If you romp with your cousin ; Continually stopping, When out a-shopping, And bank-notes dropping, Not seeking to win money, Calling it “tin” money, And promising pin-money ; Liking pic-nics at Twickenham, Off lovely cold chicken, ham, And champagne to quicken ’ems Detesting one’s walking Without John too goes talking, To prevent the men talking; Think you still in your teens, Won’t let you eat “ greens,” And hate crinolines ; Or heaping caresses, Tf you curl your back tresses, Or wear low-neck’d dresses ; Or, when up the River, Almost sure to diskiver That it beats all to shiver The sweet Guadalquiver: ad ali BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUR, 67? aii a TIM TT THT ——— Adhesiveness. Or seeing death-fetches, If the toothache one catches ; Making picturesque sketches Of the houses of wretches ; Or with loud double-knocks Bring from Eber’s box, To see Box and Coz, Or pilfer one’s locks To mark their new socks; Or, whilst you are singing A love-song 80 stinging, They vow they'll be swinging, Or in Serpentine springing, Unless to them clinging, You'll go wedding-ringing, And for life: mend their linen. 4 a: es Paes ; -BEADLE'S. DIMB- BOOK OF FUN. Now, the gentlemen sure I’ve no wish to disparage But this is the way they go on before marriage. AFTER. Tow do the Gentlemen do after Marriage? Oh! then nothing pleases ’em, But every thing teases ’em; Then they're grumbling and snarling You’rea “fool,” not a “ darling ;” Though they’re rich as the ZJngies, They’re the stingiest of stingies; And, what is so funny, They’ve never got money— Only ask them for any, And they haven’t a penny; But what passes all bounds, On themselves they'll spend potinds— Give guineas. for lunch Off real turtle and punch ; Each week a.noise brings about, When. they pitch all the things about; Now bowing in, mockery, Now smashing, the crockery ; Scolding and swearing, Their bald heads tearing; Storming and raging Past all assuaging, Heaven preserve us.! It makes.one so nervous, To hear the door slam to, Be cail-d simple “ Ma'am” too; (I wonder if Adam Called Mrs. Eve, Madam.) As a matter of .course, They'll have a.divorce ; BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. Benevolence. Or “my Lord Duke” intends To send you home to your friends; Allow ten pounds a quarter For yourself and your daughter; Though you strive all your might, You can do nothing right ; While the maids—the old song- Can do nothing wrong; “ Ey’ry shirt wants a button!” Every day they’ve cold motton ; They're always a-flurrying one, Or else. they’re a-hurrying one 5 Or clse they're a-worrying one; Threatening to smother, Your dear sainted mother, Or kick your big brother, ee BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. After all your fine doings, Your strugglings and stewings, Why, “ the house is in ruins! Then the wine goes like winking, : And they can not help thinking, | y . . ; i You've taken to drinking ; f They’re pe"petually rows keeping, | *Cause out of the housekeeping ] They're in bonnets their spouse keéping ; So when they’ve been meated, If With pies they are not treated, om They vow that they’re cheated, wv Then against Ascot Races, And all such sweet places, $ They set their old faces ; And they'll never leave town, Nor to Long Branch go down, ee =e ee ; Though with bile you're quite brown; 5 For their wife unwilling are, f } After cooing and billing her, i hi $ To:stand a cap from a milliner— i} E’en a paltry twelve-shillinger > if And it gives them the vapors f To witness the capers i Of those howers and scrapers, i / The young linendrapers ; i Then to add to your woes, | They say nobody knows i How the money all goes, i But they pay through the nose i For the dear children’s clothes ; Though you strive and endeayor . They’re so mightily clever, That please them you'll never, Till vou leave them forever— t } rh } | ae BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. 7 Marvelousness. Yes! the hundreth time seyer— “ For ever—AND EVER !” Now, the gentlemen sure I’ve no wish to disparage. But this # the way they go onafter marriage. Fun ON THE WrrES.—Some ten years or more ago there-was upon the New York and Washington tele- graph line, at the Philadelphia station, an operator named Thayer; who besides being an adept at the business, was a gentleman of culture and wit, and ex- ceedingly fond of a joke, no matter at whose expense. At the New York terminus of the line, there was, on the contrary, a steady, matter-of-fact sort of man, whe was no appreciator of jokes, and never practiced them. Tne President of the line was Hon. B, B. French, for Sa A SEES OS en EE OE ML Sa aL ers 73 BEADLE&’S DIME BOOK OF FUN, many years Clerk of the House of Representatives, at Washington; a wit, poet, and humorist. Of course he appreciated humor wherever he came across it. Thayer. took it into his head one day to send a dis- patch tosome fictitious name in New York, for the pur- pose of enjoying a laugh at the expense of the opera- tor at New York. Accordingly he composed and for- warded the following: “PHILADELPHIA, April” 1850. “To Mr. Jones, New York: “Send me ten dollars at once, so that I can get my clothes. (Signed) JULIA. “13 words, collect 34 cents.” The operator at New York, not suspecting any joke, asked the Philadelphia operator for the address. The Philadelphia operator replied that “the lady didn’t leave any,” and asked him to “ look in the Directory for it.” The New York operator replied that he “ had_al- ready done so, but as there were oyer fifty Jones's in the Directory, he was at the loss to know which one to send it to.” “Tf that is the case,” says Thayer, “ you had better send a copy to each of them, and charge thirty-four cents a piece.” The New York operator did so, and I will give the result of the arrangement in the words of the Presi- dent, Mr. French, from whom, a few days after this affair, Mr. Thayer received the following letter: New York, April 6th 1846. m rt re ae . “Mr. THAYER—Sir: A few days since you'sent a des- patch porporting to be from one Julia, addressed to Mr, Jones, New York. The New York operator in- formed you that he desired an address, as there were upwards up fifty Joneses in the Directory, and was ut BEADLE’s DIMH BOOK OF FUN. 78 Despair. the loss to know which one of them it was designed for. You replied, that in that case he must send a copy to every one of them and charge upon each; and the operator at New York, in the innocence of his heart, did so. Some twenty of the Jones’s paid for their despatches, but there was one send to the residence of an elderly merchant by that name, who being away from home when it arrived, it was opened by his wife, and was the occasion of a very unpleasant domestics scene. Mr. Jones has been to see me in re- lation to the matter, and threatens to sue the company for damages, taking the thing very much to heart. “Now, this is all very funny, and a good joke, and I have laughed at it as heartily as anybody; but you had not better try it again, or any of the rest of the operators upon the line, if you value your situations.” Le FAO AEE Seema Say eS Pa a a EE mn er ere 74 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. CONFIRMED IN HER HABITS.—A gentlemenof excel- lent habits and-very amiable disposition, was so un- fortunate as to have a wife of a very different char- acter; in short, one that would get beastly drunk Being in company of a few intimates, one evening, one of them remarked to him, that if she was his wife —since all other things had failed—he would frighten her in some way, so that she would quit her evil habit; and proposed the following method: that some timé, when dead drunk, she should be laid into a box shaped like a coffin, and left in that situation until her fit should be over, and consciousness restored, A few evenings after, the dame being in a proper state, the plan was put in execution, and after the box lid was properly secured, the party before alluded to watched, each in turn, to witness the result. About daylight next morning, the watcher hearing a move- ment, laid himself down by the box, when her lady- ship, after bumping her head a few times, was heard to say: “Bless me! why, where am I?”—The out- sider replied in a sepulchral tone:—“ Madam, you are dead and in the other world.” “ A pause ensued, after which the lady again in- quired:—“* Where are you?” “Oh! I am dead, too,” said he. “Can you tell me how long Ive been dead ?”— “ About three weeks.”— “How long have you been dead ?"— “* Four months.” “ Well, you have been here so much longer than I vy $ 7 7 an I»~p . ); } ’ 7 9° hare, can’t you teil me where I can get a little gin ?” A Broap Hint.—‘‘ Sally, what time do your folks dine ?”---“ As soon as you goes away—that’s missus’s erders.” BADLE'S DIME BOOK OF FUN. 3 Imitation—The Original and the Copy. A SrnE gua Non.—The following is hardtobeat for depth of pathos and sou)-stirring sentiment :— Here Pize and Kakes and Bier I sell And Oisters stood and in the shell And fride wuns tew for them that chews And with dispatch blacks butes and shews. —_—-—-- - - - —_——- - — NOTHING LIKE PRUDENCE, Scenge.—A Juvenile party of thir-teen year old. , Maria— My dear Charles, before we think of marrying, I must ask you what you have? Charlee—My dear Maria, I wiil tell you frankly that all I have in the world is a drum and a cricket-hat; but Papa has promised me a bow and arrows, and a pony, if Il am a good boy Le ae ES = SeyStiaeae ea 76 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF PUN. Maria.— Oh! my dear Charles, we could never live and keep house upon that! Fasteta GrowtnH Yrr.—A native of * Down fast,” describing, with characteristic exaggeration, the remarkable properties of guano, as a promoter of vegetation, said that a few hours after planting cu- cumber seeds, the dirt began to fly, and the vines came up like a streak; and although he started off at the top of his speed, the vines overtook and covered him; and on taking out his knife to cut the “ darned things,” he found a large cucumber gone to seed in his pocket / Wuy, InpEep ?—A thin cadaverous-looking Ger- man about fifty years of age, entered the office of a Health Insurance Company in Indiana -a few days ago, says the Daily Courier, and inquired :— “Ish de man in vot insures de peoples helts ?” The Agent politely answered: “I attend to that business, sir,” “ Vell, I vants mine heltsinsured; vot you charge?” Different prices,’ answered the agent, ‘“ from three ten dollars a week in a case of sickness.” “ Vell,” said Mynheer, I vants ten dollars vort, The avent then inquired the state of his health. “ Vell, L ish sick all te time. I'se shust out te ped two or three hours a day, ani te doctor says he can’t do noting more dat ish good for me,” t« © “If that is the state of your health,” returned the agent, “we can’t insure it, We only imsure persons who are in good health,” At this Mynheer bristled up in great anger. tn eee BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. 77 “You must tink I’m a fool. Vot you tink I come pay you ten dollars for insttre my helt, ven I vas vell.” ne eee ee EAB A BuacksmirH’s Oprmion or Eve.—The Rev. Ra.oh Erskine, on a certain occasion, paid a visit to his venerable brother, Ebenezer. ‘Oh, man,” said the latter, “but you come ina guae time. Ihave a diel of exaamination to-day, ana ye maun tak’ it, as I have matters o’ importance to settle at Perth.” * With all my heart,” quoth Ralph, * Noo,” says Ebenezer, “ ye'll find a’ miy folks easy to examine but ane, and him I reckon ye had bet- ter na’ meddle wi’. He has an old-fashioned Scotch Way 0’ answering ane question by putting another, and may be he'll affront ye.” “ Affront me!” quoth the indignant theologian. “Do you think he can foil me with my ane tools-?” “ mweel,” says his brother, “ I’se give ye fair warn- ing; ye had better na ha’ him up.” The recusant was one Walter Simpson, the Vulcan of the parish. The gifted Ralph determined to silence him at once with a leading unanswerable question. Accordingly after putting a variety of simple pre- liminary interrogatories to the minor clodhoppers, he at once, with a loud voice, cried out: “ Walter Simpson ?” “Here, sir,” says Walter. “ Are ye wanting me? “ Attention, sir! Now, Walter, can you tell me how long Adam stood in a state of innocence ?” “ Ay, till he got a wife,” instantly cried the anvil- hammerer.. “ But can you tell me how long he stood after pe “ Bit down, Walter,” said the discomfited divine | a —— ee TE EE 78 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUR. A Spectra, Jun@ment.—* Husband, do you believe in special judgments of Providence upon individuals in this life ?”—“ Yes, my dear.” “Do you indeed ? Did one of the Judgments evem happen to you ?”—Yes, my love.” “ When was it, husband ?’—“ When I marrie¢ you, my dear! ———_— aap ——— A Srrone Hrinr.—A. young lady once hinted to a gentleman that her thimble was nearly worn out, and asked what reward she should receive for her industry. He made answer the next day by sending her a new one, with the following lines: I send a thimble for fingers nimble, Which I hope will fit when you try its; It will last you long, if it’s half so strong, As the hint which you gave me to buy it. ee —_——— A. Lone Szrmon.—A contemporary, speaking of the old meeting-house (a very elegant one, by the way) lately burnt at Saco, says : “The chureh was erected during the ministry of fey. Elihu Whitcomb, and the dedication sermon was preached by him, February 12, 1860. It was ninety feet in length by fifty-four in breadth,” ete. Uncle Toby remarked, as he read this, that he had heard and seen some long sermons, but didn’t remem- ber any one so long as ninety feet; and that the breadth was quite uncommon, long sermons being usually slim or slender, Very Conscreniiovs.—A man lately confined ina Beotch jail for cattle stealing, managed with five ’ | | { Perictassenin 23 READLE’S DIME SOOK OF FUN. 9 others, to break out on Sunday, and being captured on one of the neighboring hills, he very gravely re- marked to the officer. “I might have escaped, but I had conscientious scruples about traveling on Sunday.” “THe VicETasies.”—An Irish laborer, sick of the thralldom of strong drink, introduced himself late- ly to the magistrates of Southwark, and proposed to “vo bale” before them to keep the following pledge (which he produced in writing):—“ Take notice that Pether Hogan of Caslragin in the countie of keri hear by taiks his Oth nevir to dhrinke a glass of Sperret good bad or indifferent, only to kape down the vigeta- bles,” ONE OF THE BUOYS.—A man in stopping his paper recently wrote :— “T think folks doant ort to spend thare munny on papers, my fother nevver did an evry boddy sed he wos thee smartest in the kountree, and had got the intellygentist famely of buoys that ever dugg taters.” Two Ways or Doine tur Trinc.—A little fop conceiving himself insulted by a gentleman who had ventured to give‘him a little wholesome advice, strut- ted up to him with an air of importance, saying: “Sir, you are no gentleman—here is my card; con sider yourself challenged. Should I be from home when you honor me with a call, I shall leave word with a friend to settle the preliminaries to your satis- faction.” To which the other replied “Bir, you are a fool—here is my card, and should 80 BEADLE’S DIME BOOK OF FUN. I not be at home when you call on me, you will find that I have left orders with my servant to kick you out into the street.” PREDESTINATION “ ABAFT THE WHEEI.”—The fol- lowing is a pretty good commentary on how far people’s professions sometimes agree with their prac- tice : “Do you believe in predestination?” said the cap- tain of a Mississippi steamer to a Calvyinistic clergyman who happened to be traveling with him—* Certainly.” “And you also bélieve that what. is to be, will be ?” “ Certainly.” “ Well, I am glad to hear it.".——“* Why ?” “ Because I intend to pass that boat ahead in fifteen consecutive minutes, if there be any virtue in pine knots and loaded safety-valves. Sodon’t be alarmed, for if the bilers ain’t to burst, they won’t.” Here the divine commenced putting on his hat, and began to look very much like backing out, which the Captain seeing, he observed—‘“ I thought you be- lieved in predestination, and that what is to be, will be.” ; “So I do, but I prefer being a little nearer the stern when it takes place,” Pipty oF THE “HAS BEANS.”—‘Mrs. B., what a delightful sermon we have had !”"—“ Yes, beautiful,” she replied, “but I did not fairly appreciate it; Ihave got some beans in the oven, and I forgot to see them when I came away. Il expect they are ruined!” TsiB ime P)ialogues and Speakers, For Schools, Exhibitions, fome Entertainments and Amateur Stage. 66 Votumes. Eaca 100 12mM0 Paaeus, These Original Dialogues, Minor Dramas, Scenic and Dress Pieces, and Rostrum Divertisements have now a national recogni- tion and reputation, for their excellence, availability and singu- larly varied character, have sent the little volumes into Schools, Homes and Associations throughout every State and Section of this Country aud the Dominion. The ‘* Dialogues” number forty-one issues or books, and the “‘ Speakers” twenty-five. Each volume of the ‘t Dialogues” con- tains from fifteen to twenty pieces—expressly prepared for the series by teachers, dramatic experts, and selected writers— all skilled in such work:—hence the unbounded success of the series with Schools of all grades, Scholars of uil ages, Exhibitions and the Amateur Stage. The “* Speakers,” containing from sixty to seventy pieces each, run the whole : ange of oratory, recitation and declamation, giving what is best in eloquence, argument, humor, vernacular and dialect—prose and verse—and thus making the series a perfect mine of good things, not only for declamation and recitation but for School and Family Readings. tae This veries of books has no equal for availability and merit of matter, and has a wider popularity among teachers, scholars, schools and amateurs than any series or single volumes yet published, at any price, in this country. These books are for sale by all newsdealers, or sent, post paid, to any address, on receipt of price, ten cents each, Beadle and Adams, Pubdlishers, 98 William Street, New York, a hays, rs) en 3 any series or ». of price—" ose DIE DIALOGUES AND SPEAKERS | —FOR- School Exhibitions and Home Entertainments, THE DIME — DIALOGUES. eet) Each volume, 100 pages 12mo., containing from 15 to 25 ~pieces, Dive DIALOGUES Dimrk DIALOGUES Dime DIALoauEs Dime DIALoct Dme DIALOGUES Dink DIALOGUES Dime DraALo@vEs Dime DraALoaurs Diuz DIALOGUEs Drs DrALoagss Deore DivG) vrs DINZ OL: Diss ~ Dine DIALoa@urs Dine DIALoovEs Litile Fo! s. Dore DraLocvrs Dts DraLoaves | Dius Distoavics NoumBer ONE. Number Two. Number THREE, s NumBer Four. NuMBER Fiver. Numper Srx. NUMBER SEVEN, NuMBER HIGHT, Numprr Nine. Numscr TEN. Nowanr Eneven. : ay aR Diawases N Drie DIALOGORS Dras DiALosuEs TWELVE. e UMBER THIRTEEN. UMBER ec IRTEEN, Nomper Tirerrex. Nummer Sperncn. Noacun fevexrces | Neuere Provresx Nem re Ninvreen, eece z TWENTY, TaD | Dore Diaroavurs | Dim DIALOGUES ash Soov o7, 109 pages Remo, ec 19003 Ati ww Heater: i. res Na NOVA. SP ARR, >. Vim Parrqirt: SPoAKER. 4-—Drius Ces See inn. f 5—Di: Into * a. 6—Diu: Ilo oro 7—Jraz Sv var 8—DriiScceup SPL\KSR, 9s Joven: SP “AcE, 8 1) D1 ts S22 ant Seeaxct, ta tad DANE x Cr ERMAN? ‘Om ?-Dris ” tat oer 622 AR We. 3— ‘Dns ae oi a ty y lor. x ee platy © ine terehers D imes yct er) is) all perenne "TS EACH. > ~ : S=- For sa uy BEADLE a encningtinenenatineinnte ah aeretAsyie ‘tones thn ain | Dine Diarogues NuMBER ‘TWENTY-ONE. Dims DiaLoaues NuMBER TWENTY-TWO. | BE Distoaves NunvEer TWENTY-FOUR, JIM" | Dist DIALOGUES | R 'LWENTY-SIX. UMBER Tw “SEVEN Dime DiALoeurs NUMBER wee erg oe TWENTY-NINE. DIALOGUES i Dranoaues N Noe Dive | Dime Dims | Die lise . I\LOGUES Nompen Stent Tranocurs NuMBer ‘pinty- THEER. pel] Tee te ar a aTY FOUR. "0 JnaLeeoss _ TALOGTES 1 Nyt beg ante A Diaro- ur ‘prin 1 aie haha hala R. + Dou Reeerne SPrARE 3—Car Prerzri’s Kom 13—Dimu: ¥ cage errs Ld ts ane 7 bey ” Tory Spr F — 2)am Duar er Spr Bi? VME, Rraraxas: ne? es KOR. S. ‘acholar3 s tbs: Is aa an el, a: ony price, ‘a this country. ; or sent, Bee Pail A Ser Sy on ane ; ANDY c atts, Publishers, 99 Witla 6 —— DiALoaues NUMBER TWENTY-FIVE. _ | | Dime DiaLoaues NUMBER TWENTY-THREE